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anxious_and_feral

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  1. I met this guy playing beer pong at a college party 2 years ago. We immediately hit it off and he came home with me that night. Over the next few weeks we continued to hook up and I caught MAJOR feelings. Everything seemed to be there with him- looks, sense of humor, intelligence, shared interests, very similar career goals, religion, politics, etc. So I asked him out on a real date but he said he wasn't looking for a relationship at the time. Fast forward 2 years later: I've graduated college and he's still in school. We've been DMing each other on twitter every now and again. He tells me all the time how much he loves my tweets. We recently hung out in my college town and had a fantastic time together. He took me out to dinner, we watched my favorite movie, and cuddled all night. Problem is that alllll of these old feelings have came racing back. Over the last week I've become debilitatingly obsessed with him. He consumes my thoughts 24/7. We had the "what are we" conversation and he told me that he liked me. I started feeling anxious and insecure though because I felt like he wasn't complimenting me enough. I could write pages about all the things I like about him but I didn't get the same energy back. I sort of didn't fully believe that he liked me so I started jokingly pressuring him to give me compliments, which is extremely embarrassing. I also got on his case for leaving my snapchat unopened for 18 hours, which he didn't appreciate. I was totally taken over by anxiety. I knew there was a good chance things wouldn't work out because I live 2 hours away from the college town and 4 hours away from his hometown. But at some points in the conversation he seemed open to the possibility of dating me. But once I started pressuring him he told me "I don't see this working considering there's already trust issues 2 days in. If this is any indication I think it's better that we just stay friends". I can't blame him for saying that, but it hurts. It feels like my life depends on making things work between us. I did have a moment of clarity when I texted him and apologized. I also told him that I like him more than anyone I've ever met in my life (which is pretty much true). It's been 2 days and he hasn't responded. I feel awful. I feel like I ruined any chance I had with him. He likes me, and I know he senses a connection. I have an anxious attachment style and my impulse is to jump into things pretty fast. He likes me but maybe just wants to be cautious and take things very slow? I know that that's probably a lot better of an approach but it's still so hard to deal with because I like him and want him sooo badly! In my heart I know that long distance (2 hours) would probably not be such a great idea anyway. But I've never been in a serious, committed relationship and I like him sooo much I would do anything to be with him tbh!!!!!!
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