bear320

The sadness and hopelessness you're describing is definitely symptomatic of depression. However, based on the intensity of your mood swings, you could be looking at a bipolar type of disorder as well. Either way, you should not have to feel the way you do, and there is help available to you. I know it takes courage, but your doctor, as well as friends and family, are there to help you and can provide you with important information and resources. Just think of how grateful you will be that you took that leap and asked for help down the road, when you are happy and healthy again.

Thanks for all of the advice so far! A few other relevant points: 1) his mom has also rounded up his older sister to back up her lies. (side note, the older sister is 35, single, and still lives at home w/mommy, so clearly she's very adept at controlling all of her children). The sister claims she's also seen evidence of "concerning" behavior, which makes it 2 against 1...no matter than the 1 is telling the truth. 2) I tried to gently broach the subject of whether perhaps they weren't used to another woman being so prominent in his life, and even went so far as to say "Is she afraid of someone stealing her little boy?" He swears that she has never done anything like this before. I think that either she has been able to quietly scare away other girls without having to directly involve him, or that she felt extremely threatened by me b/c she saw how close we were getting and quickly figured out that I'm not someone who she could control. And finally, 3) when I asked why this wasn't brought up immediately if it was so concerning, why we had such a nice, normal lunch, and why she would send him off on a trip with me if I was such an aggressive maniac, his response was "I don't remember what she said, but it seemed like a rational response at the time." Come on!!! I know that I am probably lucky to have found all of this out now, because this is clearly not a mother-in-law who I want to deal with for the rest of my life. And if he could so easily believe such things about me then we obviously weren't doing what I thought we were, and he is completely spineless to allow himself to be manipulated like this. It is just such a heartbreaking situation b/c everything was so great up until this happened. I also really believe that he's a good person at heart, adn wish that I could make him realize that he needs to stop letting his mom control his life if he wants to be happy. But, I suppose you can't help everyone.

I've been dating this guy for about 6 months now and it's been absolutely wonderful - we had tons of fun together, never had a disagreement, very respectful, sweet, etc. etc. Then, his mom came into town. She came for a weekend and decided to stay for a week to "housesit" while he and I went away for my birthday. On the day that we were leaving for this trip, I volunteered to pick up the dog and take him to the dogsitter while my b/f was at work, b/c his mom had a bad shoulder and the dog tends to pull on his leash. I showed up, said hi, asked what needed to go with the dog, put it all in my car, said "see you in a bit" and left. I was in a great mood, cheerful, excited for the weekend trip. I took the dog, came back, helped his mom make some salads, and we all had a nice, pleasant lunch together before he and I set off for the beach. When we got back from our trip, I got a distinctively bad vibe from his mom. After I had gone back to my place, she apparently told him that some of my behaviors during that five-minute dog interaction had concerned her. He asked me about it, I was of course shocked and upset, and we decided it must have been a huge misunderstanding. I asked what I should do (talk to his mom about it, etc.), and he said "don't do anything, I'll take care of it." Fast forward two days, he calls me on the phone and very nastily says "I gave you two days, you didn't do anything, I can't believe you're lying to me and won't admit what you did to my mom, you have a serious problem, it's over." Through my shock, I managed to ask what, exactly, was such a problem. He seemed appalled that I didn't know, but finally told me that his mom claims that I pushed and shoved her several times, ripped items from her hands, swore at her, then stormed out of the house!!!! She told him that I am "aggressive" and that she is "trained" to spot these behaviors, and I clearly have a problem. In fact, maybe I'm denying it b/c my problem is so severe that I don't even remember what I do! This is the most absurd accusation I have ever heard. I am the most laid-back, mild-mannered person you will ever meet. Every friend and family member I have shared this with has laughed hysterically at the very idea of me ever being aggressive. In fact, I often don't even stand up for myself when I should b/c I hate confrontation. Additionally, her "training" that makes her so sure I have a problem was a brief stint as a drug and alcohol counselor 25 years ago. I am a currently certified and very successful mental health professional who recently completed a rigorous graduate program. I work every day w/ a variety of other trained mental health professionals who give me nothing but rave reviews. Wouldn't you think one of these people would have spotted such a serious "problem"? I am completely shell-shocked by this entire situation. I have never experienced anything like this before, and I honestly never had any indication of potential problems with this relationship. Overnight he went from "I love you, I'm the luckiest man in the world" to "You're crazy and lying and I don't ever want to see you again." I tried contacting his mom directly to discuss this and she won't even return my calls! I need advice -- how do I handle this?? I don't want to perpetuate this whole crazy myth by continuing to call, but I also can't stand the thought of having such malicious lies spread about me. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated!