MissiRyleigh

Okay, so if everyone here is saying I stayed too long, why was she originally fine with it? Because as I said above if she didn't invite me for the longer stay I would have just been at her house til Friday the 14th and left for the wedding and gone home. So like, 18 days. The only reason I'm still here past January 18th is because when she was at a point where she was saying stay as long as you want, the latest I could stay was February 20th and hadn't bought a ticket home yet. Then this happened and the ticket I got was the ticket I could afford which was a week after the wedding. My thinking is if I invite family to my house and I say come earlier than that then obviously I want them around. If I mention to kids that said guest says they can stay til February 20th and we want them here til then, I'd be prepared for having the person there that long. I don't have family where I live, everyone knows it. So I thought obviously if they are saying come earlier and then stay they wanted me there and to be a part of their family. Obviously, I was wrong and even all of you are rejecting me as a family member even if I still am a second cousin? Our dads are cousins. The reason I want to figure out what is really 'wrong' with her is because my dad had mental issues and committed suicide. A few other family members we are related to have some of his same problems, but not as bad. I know, because it's my dad I also have some problems and I'm medicated for it and go to counseling when I need to because I was in counseling consistently and then they were like, we trust that when you need help you will reach out. Her mom was also institutionalized a few times for what my cousin calls 'her imaginary friends' problem. I just want someone outside to say maybe she's acting this way because it's part of a mental issue and her alcoholism could have contributed and then I'd be 'calmer' about the situation as far as understanding why she was telling me she was dying or trying to steal her husband or telling me to leave when two days before she said stay. But everyone here is saying I'm the problem for trying to help around the house and being concerned for her when I was staying there. If she really is having this bad of problems I want to mention it to someone inside to get her help because obviously they ignore it or aren't seeing it because they don't want to.

That's her problem because she's the one who told me to visit for this long. If I did what my original plan was I'd be here from Dec 28th til Jan 18th. (The wedding was the 15th) She's the one who said, come earlier because the kids love you, be here for all the christmas stuff. Then as days went by: Stay as long as you want. Then: I'll always be here for you. Literally two days after that she's telling me to go home, that she was dying and her husband was saying she does it for attention.

I spent some time last summer with a distant cousin and her family. We had become friends on Facebook 10 years ago and had met in person at a few family weddings and she invited me out to visit for a few weeks. I would spend about five days or so with her family and then spend a few days at another cousins house, then come back to her house. During this time, her two young kids became close to me. Because another family wedding was coming up, she invited me back to her house again Dec. 10th to stay for the holidays and everything until this past weekend when the wedding was. During my stay there because it was originally going so well and because I hadn't officially booked my flight home it was known that I could potentially stay til February 20th. The kids were all for it. Well, during the first week there I noticed the cousin was drinking all the time. Her husband told me she had been drinking like this for at least three years so he couldn't believe and I couldn't believe it either that I didn't notice it this summer. So, during this Christmas visit she gets drunk almost every night and starts fights with her husband. He stays up to talk and vent to me and she starts getting jealous. During the day when they are all at work or school I am helping out by doing housework. Some mornings I get up with the kids to get them ready and out the door because the parents are already off to work. When I'm talking with the cousin she is so back and forth. One day she will say, thanks for the help. This is great. The next it's you're doing too much I don't need you doing anything. One minute it's you are sleeping too late in the day... (9 am when there was nothing to do?) You're so lazy. The next it would be can you do 10 different tasks, because you should do ABCD today. Every thing was slowly building up. Like, we would have these conversations where I would try to relate to her and I'd tell her, this isn't to dim your experience, but just to show I understand and I'd tell her something and she'd be all comforting and tell me she'd always be around to talk to and I'd always be welcome or she'd go the other way and it was almost like she was competing for victimization. She'd always have the worst things happen to her nobody else could have it worse than her. Last week, an argument was started and even though she was in a good mood previously, she said, I think you need to book your flight home. I was blindsided by this because she knew last weekend and this week I'd be gone for the wedding and visiting other cousins. She then comes up to me and said, why can't you just wait til I'm dead, then you can have my husband. I was so confused. She comes in my room later and tells me she's sick and she thinks she's dying, but can't get a test done til march 30th and she won't tell her husband til after that. So I'm shocked, crying and trying to be supportive and positive. She leaves to go to sleep and her husband comes in and asks if we were done arguing and what was going on. I break down and tell him and he starts laughing. I'm really confused. He says, she's been planning her death for years she does it for attention. I was pissed! Who plays with peoples emotions like that? So the husband isn't worried. Next day the kids and I are getting along great like usual and my cousin comes at me again. The kids are too attached to you. I need my own time with the kids. Tomorrow don't talk to my husband at all and don't help him with the kids in the morning. I didn't. Thing is, after school the kids didn't come home because they were off to a sports tournament. I was leaving for the wedding. Kids came home and saw all my stuff was gone and flipped out that they didn't get to say bye to me. (Obviously, their mom planned it like that) While I'm at the wedding I find out her eldest daughter (29) lives where I'll be staying the week also. So I tell her about everything over the past few days and I swear 90% of what her mom told me wasn't true. Like, even the littlest crap, the daughter says, well, what really happened was XYZ. So I just keep thinking... What is wrong with this woman? Can someone please help me understand/give a diagnosis? and why doesn't her immediate family seem to think there is something wrong with her? At least if they aren't going to get her help, but somebody says, she legit has some condition I could at least feel sorry for her.