JoelKR8

Yeah RayKay did bring some real obvious stuff that i should have really thought about. I am going to have a serious conversation with her tonight and try to see what it is she really does want...This stuff is really bringing me down - In the past when we had issues I have always tried to sit down and go through it logically. Ultimately, I dont know what is going to happen..

I believe that sex is better with someone you really love (from experience!) and it can just be really frustrating when you want to try different things and do so much and be intimate with that person but they are not responsive.... Its a real bummer....

What could be the other reasons why it hurts her so much other than size and lubrication?

At the moment, I can try to be with someone Iam sexually incompatible with but looking into the future - I really dont know. I just cannot bring myself to leave her - we have been through SO much in the time we have been together. In response to RayKay, thanks for the response - in fact thanks to everyone for their responses - it has made me think about a few things. In the past we have tried lubricants however she does not like them because she feels its not "natural". I have tried telling her not all women lubricate the same but once she gets an idea in her head she is very stubborn.

I tell her that she is the one and only one for me everytime! The only reason I am considering going through with it is because she has mentioned it. She always says that the things I do for her, how patient I am when it comes to sex and how much I try to work it out with her and what can make her comfortable - she doesnt reply back to me - she feels as if she cannot satisfy me and that makes her sad.

I think you may have a point...

She wants me to go out and find a girl and have a fling. I honestly dont know if I can go through with it - I have been looking at other girls lately through frustration but I honestly dont know what to think. We have discussed it and I have told her she would not be able to handle it - but she assures she will be fine. Any guesses about whats going on in her head??

She promises she wont get upset and thats what she wants. Its all she talks about these days.

Hey people - My first post so please be gentle! I have been with my girlfriend now for just under 2 years and I do love her very much. At the beginning of the realtionship the Sex was pretty good even though I was her first. But over the last few months, she has revealed to me that it hurts her when we have sex (i am quite big) the sex has been very short and if I am lucky it occurs 3 times a week. She really beats herself up about it and feels as if I am not satisfied and yet alwys try to please her. She is not big on oral - she will receive it gladly but she wont give because "it hurts her jaw" and she gets annoyed. My girlfriend knows my past relationships were very energetic and sex usually occurred 2-3 times a day previously. Personally, i just think the raw attraction has dwindled on her part and to a certain extent it has dwindled on my part - she still thinks I am cute and says i am but I dont know if she is ATTRACTED to me. NOW - recently, she has suggested what will liven our sex life is if I have sex with another woman. She believes it will be a turn on and she has given me her full permission to go out and have sex - she is serious. The only thing is - she wants me to record it so she can watch me doing it. I really dont know what to make about all of this. i really do not know what is going on in her head. I have tried talking and discussing it but she reassures me that is what she wants. Generally she is a little reserved in the bedroom but this talk has just come out of nowhere. When we talk about it she says that seeing me with another woman, pleasuring her is her fantasy - making her cum. She wants me to do to the woman what i cant do with her. Now I love my girl very much and would do anything for her but I am not entirely sure if I can go through with this - it just seems awkward...On top of that how can this help a relationship if its in your relationship history? Anyone with any thoughts on this or what is going on in her head - please share. It would be greatly appreciated. Regards, Confused Joel