flysurfer

Thanks for the advice 21 will talk to her over the next couple of days and see what happens

thanks for the info guys, its kind of hard to know what to make of things when i have never broken up from someone i love before, your advice really helps. My x txt me today and said that she did not want to breakup, she said the last couple of days had shown her how much she wanted us to stay together regardless of her family, thing is this is the second time we have broken up over this issue, we broke up last weekend when her sisters put on the pressure and the same thing happened this weekend. I always made the time to be there when her sisters were giving her a hard time, even had to drive over 100 miles at stupid o'clock in the morning after she had an argument with one of her sisters. Not sure what to do now, she says that she wants to get back together but she has broken it off twice, and i know i am not going to let myself go through the same pain for a third time, what do you think i should do?

Ok me and my girlfriend of 4 years broke up yesterday, we had broken up the weekend before but had got back together, the long and short of it is that she is indian and i am not and we cannot stay together. I have totally decided that this is now the end of our relationship, but i keep having these peaks and troughs, when i am busy i feel almost fine, but when i stop i slump into a person i do not want to be, i feel totally un-balanced and not sure what i should be doing to try and get my life back on track. I'm wondering if i should spend some time just slumping for a bit and reflect on what has passed or try and avoid thinking about it as much as possible

know how you feel dude, about 4 years ago i was the same, i was doing drugs and hanging around people that i could never consider friends one of the most lonely times of my life, you have probally done it already but talk with your family even if it is just so you know there are still people that you can talk to that will listen. One thing i did do back then was to start taking care of myself, i started running, this was great, bloody hard work but it got me out of the house, it really helped. The only hard thing about doing it was finding the motivation, finding the motivation for me really is the hardest part and i guess you just have to get up and do it, after a while you will rebuild your self esteem then everything else will follow given time.

I know how you feel, i just broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years, won't bore you with the details but she was indian and i ain't. i start my final year of uni in september and i am unsure how i will get on, all i know is that i have spent the last three years working up to this point and i cannot let anything get in the way now. one thing i have found is helping is when i begin to thing about my ex or anything related to our relationship, i stop and force myself to think of something different, when i was driving home i was thinging of sending her a txt, instead i started counting cars, sounds really stupid but it worked even made me smile as i started debating if i should include trucks and a police car as i wanted to count 50 before i got home not saying you should go and stand on the road and count the cars as they go by, unless you have inherited a train spotter gein but i'm sure if you look around you can find simple things to shift your focus away from your relationship and then back to your studies

btbt, think you are right about the moving on part, my ex has never been that good at standing up for herself and going after what she really wants. Guess the hard bit is moving on i can understand why they say you never forget your first love now so i guess i already got one good thing out of this breakup

know how you feel, keep thinging about getting in touch with my ex or hoping she will call me, but it is distructive and i will never move on, i'm looking for a new job at the moment which helps me to focus on other things that are important, which is kind of working, sound a bit strange but i had a look at some profiles of single women on those online dating sites which reminded me that there are other women out there that share the same interests that i do, i'm not ready to go into another relationship yet but its good to know that when i am back firing on all cilinders there are others that i would like to meet. Good luck

we have both talked at length to find an answer, i would have done anything, however when my ex spoke with her sisters they were admit that she would be making a mistake in the long term. My ex says that she does not know what to do for the best, we ended it last week but got back together 2 days later, and now the problem re-surfaced this weekend and we have again broken up, and this time i think it should be for good, unless she decides what she really wants and is prepared to stick by her decision, it must be the hardest thing i have ever had to do, hurts like hell but i figure in time i will begin to realise that i have done the right thing

Hi, Just found this forum on my search accross the net to find answers to the pain i'm in. There seems to be forums for every topic nowa days, and i cannot say how much of a comfort it is to know that there are many other people in the same position as myself right now. This is the first time in my life i have ever broken up with someone i truly loved, and what makes it so hard is we had to end it because she is indian and i am not. Her whole family is 100% against their daughter marrying anyone outside of their religion. Which really sucks for us both. I have found loads of advice already to help me get through this nightmare and reading the advice provides a much needed and welcome distraction from thinking about what could have been. Its strange but amongst all my sadness reading the advice and other peoples experiences are already going some way to bringing a sign of a smile amongst the pain. Having dreams taken away hurts like hell but within the dreams i used to have when i was with this woman i can see that i can still achieve many of those dreams, only some will be by myself and others maybe sometime in the future i can share with someone new. Deal with the past and look to the future i think will be my reoccurring saying for a while.