lilium

lol, i can be very jelous aswell, but it mostly depends of how they say it, for example if someone just say 'aww he's cute' or 'wow he's hot' i just smile and answer -yes, i know- but if that same person says it with a certain tone, or with that look in their eyes ( you know the one, lusty kind or something) i just ignore them and think to myself that she wont have a second alone with my love alone EVER yeah... i can get a little possesive

i think if she really wasnt interested she would made up some excuse and not bother going for that walk, and if her friends went there's a BIG chance they wanted to check you out (hint* friends usually want to do this when they've heard alot about you), and if they would walk a bit a head is to give you guys a bit of privacy(hint* this usually means they aprove her friends choice), so i would say 1.) yes 2.) yes 3.) no 4.) yes and yes it could be something else, and if u already know one of her friends and lives close to you, why havent you asked her? she'll probly tell you what you want to know, with details.

Wow, i came here to check on the date of my post, and its been 2 months already.... i'm not sure what can i say, since my relationship isnt really either better or worse. * Better? He finally picked a time limit himself, and i discovered he really dont work well under pressure (so im trying my best not to do that anymore) also, even though he chose a pretty far date (right after the court thing, the 3rd week of oct) he admited he havent been saving, and that he was ashamed, so after alot of math and stuff we worked that out (well kinda) and now he wants to come for a few weeks before the court thing...thats means he would come next week and stay for about 3weeks or so, and then he would go bk and basically work his bum off to be able to come again and after that i would go there. * Worse? I been reading some posts here, and i realized i could be/was afraid of commitment (probly the reason i cancelled the first time) i do those push and pull things all the time (i never say i dont want him to come but i do hurt him getting cold every once in a while) so i think i've made him a bit more insecure; i want to be with him more each day so coz of it i get depressed very easily I've decided the date he chose will really be the limit, not like the other one where i tried not to presure him and i didint let him know, i was actually just going to stop coming online but that wouldnt be fair, so this time is it and he knows it. So i guess what i'm wondering now is, how can i control myself? i'm not blaming it all on me, or him, but for example right now: tomorrow he'll have news, about if he can come in a few days or not, so now i'm getting a bit negative again thinking he probly wont be able to and that i wont ever be with him, and if he was online i would probly be hurting him, and as a consecuence he gets insecure and could take longer to come

well you did say, look at the bright side, you actually found a good person to tell this, she's right, your friend is hidding from the world, and to top it off he said it while he was drunk!! the poor thing. yes this is mainly about him, but not completely, he does have feelings for you, and he's hurt, but above all he must be ashamed, maybe he didint want you to find out ever becouse he knows you have a gf and was afraid to loose your friendship, the booze just helped him to get it out his chest, so you still need to clear that up with him. about the jokes and things you told him without knowing he was gay (and interested in you), i understand completely, but he had to laugh at those jokes becouse thats what 'guys' do, if you believe you offended him by saying that in the past say sorry for that too, but believe me, not everyone gets offended by that, actually most just laugh at the sillyness of the joke itself not laughing at who is directed. i have lots of male friends (in the bunch there are straight/bi/gay) and i dont have many female friends but its the same with them, the thing is, if we are at a friends house a guy could say a joke about females and i would just laugh, i wouldnt stop trusting my closest friends for any reason, i can be completely open with them no matter what, and they can do the same thing but thats becouse my closest friends are very openminded like myself, i think its absolutly ok if a friend wouldnt want to talk about certain topics he's uncomfortable with (so lets just say for example you can stay friends without the need of him telling you the details of what he did last night with his hot date), who knows? maybe there are things that make him feel uncomfortable aswell but he wasnt able to tell you this becouse he thought 'this is what straight men talk about'

i just wanted to say something to you venus, and no i'm not getting into an argument and i fully respect your point of view. But this is mine: yes people are homofobic, yes people are racist, HOWEVER i dont think its right to jump and point out people without knowing them, i dont know this guy and i believe he's not, he feels bad already, why making him feel worse? (btw i have seen that happening, a gay friend told her to... does that makes him heterofobic?) this guy obviously knows he shouldnt have reacted that way and it looks like he cares about his friend, he just didint know how to handle it, it happens.

sounds to me you have all figured it out, you know it was wrong to react that way and tell him you are sorry, you know the reasons but are not sure he'll understand.... tell him anyways making it clear that you like him as a friend but nothing more, try not to be too harsh, after all he's been a good friend and i'm sure he didint plan it or anything; you are a gentleman and i'm glad to hear you dont plan to tell anyone about this, especially becouse it looks like nobody knows his sexual prefferences and he wants to keep it that way. about how to aproach this, the words honesty and comunication come to mind, but you might want to sort out your feelings first, you wont be able to be completely honest with him if you dont, you could end up hurting him more. i hope that helped a bit, good luck

if its in your nature, and it makes you happy and enjoy life.... easy, you are not too 'CLINGY' thats just you being yourself, and if he doesnt like that about you, wouldnt that mean he doesnt like the way you are to start with?

shouldnt this be in the cyber-relationships forum? Wow u fell in love pretty fast, about she not having a computer in las vegas, well u said she's wealthy, and phone is just too complicated, may i suggest SMS? i know its not the same but when you are missing her really bad it helps, also, i'm sure she could find time(if she wanted) at least once in a while to go to a cafe or borrow someones pc or whatever, about she not knowing where the mailbox is.... well she could ask, im sure it wont take long to find out. I think your very sweet, i doubt you need real advice with talking to her, becouse if you are this in love you must know how to, otherwize she would already stopped talking to you; but dont you think a week is too soon? specially online, to fall in love?, and no, i'm not saying it cant be possible, i'll meet the love of my life soon actually and i met him online, but i'm just saying it wouldnt hurt to know her a bit more. The most important thing is, for me at least, how does she feel about you? does she knows how you feel? are you two already dating?, is there even a tiny chance she didint gave you her mail address not becouse she didint know it, but becouse she didint want to, or wasnt ready yet? if a girl thinks your going too fast you'll end up scaring her away.

I just came to check my downloads before i go out and decided to take a look in case i had another reply here, and i'm glad i did. You didint anoy me at all, thanx to you i feel alot better now and had a nice night sleep, you helped me realize that i'm just stressing myself out when i already knew all that's left to do is wait, i cant thank you enough for your posts, all i can say is, i like this place so i think i'll stick around, if you ever need to talk with someone you can be sure i'll be here for you. THANK YOU SOO MUCH LadyLuck=

yes i do, actually he didint even knew what anime was before i told him about it and he loves it, so i would borrow him my big colection, and games well i dont play much i only have a couple of games(but he happens to like them too), but my cousin has tons and they have the exact taste when it comes to games, you know guys, give them a game where they can kill and they r happy, so maybe i'll ask him for some. about the romantic stuff, i already had planned to make him feel very special and show him how much he means to me, but since at first he'll probly have a lil trouble with the time difference, i want to be careful to not get to the point i annoy him (if thats even possible) until he gets used to the time here, since my career is integral design, that means homeworks takes hours and hours of sketching/doing all kinds of things, so i been thinking of asking him if he doesnt mind i do my homework at his place, that way we could still talk and he wouldnt get lonely.

i hope u feel better when you wake up, its not easy being depressed and lonely to make it even worse, i know its not the same, but have u ever tried to go out alone? makes you take a completely different perspective on things, ofcourse depending why you are depressed it could make things worse, but you could end up meeting new people and maybe make more friends (if your lucky without the grumpy hubbys). i been alone most of my life, so i dont feel lonely that much, but if your not used to it, maybe you should try to enjoy it, have a nice long bath, pamper yourself, drink a nice cup of your favorite tea and listen to some music, maybe read a book, or even just walking around in your underwear!! sorry thats stuff i like to do when i'm alone, dont think of it as something bad, (i think of it as freedom in my home in case you didint notice) you will only get depressed, or in this case more depressed, try to see it as a chance to enjoy some quality time with urself, at least i know that makes me feel better, hope it helped

i'm a very calm and patient person, but yes, it has been too long. 2 months sounds pretty reasonable, i think i'll do that. Is just my feelings for him are soo strong i wish there was something i could say or do for him to come sooner, specially becouse if he comes while i have classes he'll be alone all morning in a place where he doesnt know anybody else, and then thinking of homeworks and all that, i wouldnt want him to think i'm not interested anymore. He has a friend that went thru something like that, chatted with a girl for about 2 years and when they decided to meet, the girl simply didint liked him, and she sort of would ignore him so the poor guy had to go back heartbroken; he knows i would never do that, but i cant be sure if its something that worries him, or if he's a lil scared or even intimidated by me (he sort of thinks i'm perfect, and worries i'll meet someone else) but i guess its becouse of how he feels about me, i love everything about him too, even his clumsiness, i think its cute.

Thank you for your reply, and yes i'm aware it could be i'm inflituated with him, i been seriously considering if he doesnt gets here by the time i start university, i'll stop coming online for a while, and just focus on my career, and just keep myself busy, but just the thought of it hurts. Also im scared it wont be enough time, its less than a month after all, and the date we changed it to was the 23; which would only give him an extra week if something happens. He did say he already had his stuff packed before the last delay and was pretty upset about it, also promised to stay longer; maybe its just me getting insecure becouse i need him with me?

i never really thought about online relationships, in fact, i've never really thought about relationships at all, i'm 22, the 'artistic' kind, and i've never had trouble atracting men/women online or offline(even though i wasnt looking to get in a relationship), i was starting university, got my first place and made lots of friends... everything was going well, but i couldnt go bk home for the holydays, it was ok, i actually was spoiled for choice when it came to where to spend x-mas and newyear, but i was bored and started to come online more often, i was sort of new to this, it was fun, i just wanted to learn a few things, such as japanese, and get to know my way around first ofcourse, then i met him in a chatroom, i wouldnt usually talk to people without a profile, and i told him, i could have just ignored him but i didint, he was like a cute puppy trying to get my aproval, within 10mins tops he had his profile, after a while he ask me for my messenger address, and if he could add me, i said sure, thinking he was nice but not that interesting, but me not wanting to be rude to such a nice guy i added him. He was very interested, and i made it clear i was looking for only friends online, wasnt even planning to meet them ever, he kept trying (by this point we didint know how either of us looked, and i didint care) we even had different interests, but some how that would help to talk even more and get closer, it was fun, i would go online everyday for a couple of hours and no matter what time i got there he was there waiting, then i realized of the time over there.... the guy wouldnt sleep to talk to me, and i never even bother in telling him what time i would be online or even if i was going to, sometimes i would come online and after 10mins my friends would pass by and dragg me with them to a gig or whatever and i would go, not really caring. But it wasnt like that for long, after a while i started to care, started loosing my online friends becouse i would spend all the time online talking to him about all kinds of things, i would still go out with my friends but i wouldnt say just 'bye gotta go', i would actually say sorry and i meant it, and i even was selfconscious of the time there, so he started to sleep at normal hours, (he never complained though); i did alot of traveling after quitting my career before coming back to my home town, and i would try to go to a cafe for a while a few times a week.... by then we was already in a ciber relationship, and we was planning to meet in less than a year, if everything worked out, it did, but i got scared and posponed it. And now here i am, after 2.5 years or so, in love, and still havent met him, not all the changes of plans has been becouse of me getting scared, all kinds of different things have happened, including my grandfather's death, and he getting into a legal problem which is almost over..... it should have been over by now, it turns out now it will take a couple of weeks more, which i dont mind, but im starting to think we'll never meet, i mean maybe its not that he doesnt wants to, but even if his legal problem was over and he was on his way.... london was attacked....... yeah damn terrorists or whatever, maybe its a sign i should get this over with?, sometimes when it was me the one who would have to make him wait i would feel he was glad, he doesnt want to end it thats for sure, i've tryed to but he wont let me (and i dont want to but i feel i'll never meet him sometimes). I been thinking of going there, but with all this things that happened a bit ago, my parents wouldnt let me, and i'm going back to university in aug. so i'm low on cash and time, i cant get him out of my mind, and lately i been getting more sad thinking he should be here already, am i just obsessed? does he really love me? is all of this just something platonic? i'm not even sure what i really want to ask, so any opinions are welcome. sorry for the long post, never thought it would be this much, thank you for anyone that bothers reading it all *hugs anyone who replies*