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  1. This is one of those red flags that people warned me about. I would stay in relationships like this..an eventually men would become very controlling an emotional abusive. Him trying to slowly take you from your life to focus on him is a huge sign!!! Eventually when you have been with him long enough he will start to punish you for having your own life. Men like this use tactics of sweetness an kindness..to make you think their behavior was a honest mistake..when really..he is already testing the waters of where you are at with his level of control over you..an isolation is step 1... of an abuser. He is slowly grooming you. If it works ..you will forgive him.. but like normal..you are already considering if this is right for you? That means its not. 6 weeks in..this is your gut saying..this doesn't sit right..you are already feeling your space invaded ..this is a red flag. Leave now.
  2. Yes, generally.. my exes have came back within 30 days.. some shortly after..45 days. BUTT.. generally..they came back for wrong reasons. Hovering. ..making sure I wasn't moving on, some tried to rebound an their new relationships failed, others got lonely or horny. A few claimed they really loved an missed me... but (they never really ended up changing an if I gave them a another chance the breakup happened all over again) when you get back with an ex.. the break ups are worse an worse overtime because you hurt more an more for going back to something you wanted but you know you needed to walk away from. Then you start to hate yourself. Now if it is a healthy relationship with 2 healthy people an time an space an growth happens.. when 2 people really realize their issues, it can be overcome.. an if they never want to jeopardize losing that person ever again..than a successful reconciliation can happen. Im not going to lie ...those situations are extremely rare for both people in a relationship to be on that same page at same time. Yes..to your question. I have seen countless people get back with an ex.. I have also seen all these couples end again ...some are so toxic they keep it up for years..break upp..make up..sometimes even sleep with other people in between..but if the goal is to get an ex back..yes its possible an the 30 days no contact works for many people in that way. (Even though that's not whats intended for) But if the goal is to have a healthy relationship..than these are two completely different things with 2 different answers.
  3. I met them All over. Some at work, through friends, I have been doing charity work since I was a kid and I volunteer alot so I meet lots of people from all over, college ect. I have never done online dating. I dont trust what they are selling me. I got to know this guy for 6 months before I would let him call me his gf. Just so I didnt go through this again, an For 6 months he wore an amazing mask. Tricked me in every way. Showed me kindness I've never seen. Thats why I'm out of options of what to do. Everything everybody is suggesting I have done. The whole be single..work on myself... go to counseling.. take time..screen men.. date around...do postive things in life. No matter what these men find me. Makes me think they are all the same. So I came here to find out if people have experienced relationships that are not abusive. Because I'm seriously have no idea.. maybe its my town? Idk at this point. But im moving state now. Because all I know here is abuse.
  4. No. This is another boyfriend after I stayed single for over a year. I did break up with last one. Just another one like him 🤦🏼‍♀️ that's why I'm wondering if men are just like this. I have never been or met a guy who hasn't been so far
  5. I was single for 2 years in between from my last one until now. I have taken breaks. I even insist sometimes I stay single.
  6. Honestly sounds like the guy has a secret life already. Wife..kids..house.. somewhere else. Men do it all the time. I dated a guy for 2 years. He kept me secret. Finally found a person who mutually knew of him an said ..he had a whole gf.. she was shocked when she had found out for 2 years he was seeing me. I even was pregnant. 2 years is along time. I mean that is an offcial long term relationship. That is how well men can keep this up for. As long as you let them. They can live double lives.
  7. So I am 30 now. An I have been in several long term relationships, I have tried to go for different men all the time. Looks, hobbies, lifestyle, the person they "pretend to be" at first. Because people say i go for the same type of man. So I go out of my way to find men different from the last. The problem is.. as different as they all appear to be at first. They all end up extremely emotional abusive. My boyfriend now must call me a dumb *** at least several times daily..that an other fowl disgusting names. But every guy I have dated has put me down or called me names in 1 way or another. I break up with men who speak to me like that..just to find another. I really am a big sweetheart. I dont control them, don't pressure them to be someone they are not. I do things for them everyday ... I try to listen to them an what makes them happy an make an effort. Generally the men I date fall "head over heals" for me. (Never want to break up, become obsessed or possessive over me) Problem is they treat me like ***. Im wondering... is this something in my age I just have to accept? All these men in the beginning claimed they were not like this.. an they all lied. I dont want to keep being in unhealthy relationships. I dont want to keep wasting my time either. Is this just normal now? Am I having high standards for even expecting different? Is it a dream to think men my age ..dont talk to their woman like that after a few months? Do you woman ... do all woman deal with this? Or am I seriously cursed with men?
  8. I would not want to get involved for all the same reasons everyone else said, but I can't help but feel bad for the new woman. Knowing she will have his kid an ruin her life an be a single mom very shortly. I personally would want to know. I wish someone would have warned me about my ex. Everyone watched me walk into a lions den blind. An now I'm 30...not married..all the good ones are taken or messed up like me. An 2 years later im still picking up the pieces of my entire life being burnt to the ground. But at the same time I also would not want to be the person who gets involved in someone else's relationship. Tough spot to be in.
  9. I have been in counseling the last 2 years. I spent 10 years with him. My entire adult life. He not only did this. But was very abusive in many different way durning our relationship. So yes its an on going healing process thing for me. But just For my own healing I was curious on a man's point of view what he is doing. So I could have peace of mind.
  10. I want to say...no I do not want him back. I am moved on an recovered. It took me 2 years. Yes him still trying to contact me is hindering my recovery. I am more so trying to understand what this is.. for my healing. Because me not knowing is keeping him in my thoughts wondering. An I would like to put my mind to rest. His actions... over the past 2 years ...has non stopped been trying to replace me but can't...mourn over me.. reach out to me.. try to get me to see him... ect. But yess I was trying to see if this was just another way a man is trying to get back into my life because he regrets what he did?,Or if he was like a narcissist or something. That's all. Basically I spent 10 years with him. Even with me moving on..I would like to think at one point I actually meant something to him. I would never take him back though. But I was curious.
  11. Me an my ex dated for 10 years. Me 30 an him currently 35. We lived together an he was looking up engagement rings an telling everyone how I was the most amazing girlfriend he ever had... an on the night of my birthday I found out he was sexting his ex. Needless to say our relationship spirlad out of control very fast after that. He was not sorry. He was angry. Angry he got caught. With in a month of me catching him...he just openly started seeing a new woman. (Not the ex he was sexting) I confronted her...an she did not care she was breaking up a home. She kept seeing him. So I kicked him out but he would not move out. He started lying about me. Saying I was doing all these crazy things I was not to his family. He made his family believe he was in danger an I was crazy an they took pity on him...as I was kicking him out..as his family took him in. Within 2 days of moving out he showed up to my house every day for months. Technically he was still on lease an police would not help me keep him away. He would show up at 2am an sit outside. All sorts of stuff. I had to move twice. It has been 2 years now since our split. He has dated an slept with over 12 woman since me. This entire time he has contacted me every couple weeks..days. I have blocked him on everything. He makes fake accounts Text apps..ect. Finally after 2 years of healing, I finally decided to give him the time of day an have a civil conversation with him. Im not sure if he needs closure or what but he has never told me he has regretted what he did. He keeps talking about our passion...sex..sex..sex.. an I told him if he has been hitting me up for 2 years just for sex, when he has had a constant supply from other woman, that i dont have time for this stuff. So he proceeded to tell me, he "sometimes misses us, he sometimes wonders if we "start sleeping together again if we could be something more" So my question is... how toxic is this man. I spent 10 years with him. He was the love of my life. But he betrayed me like no other. I know he has a ego ..pride thing. Its clearly impossible for him to admit what he did an say sorry.. but for him to be stuck on us still after 2 years? He sounds like he just wants sex... but his actions are telling me something different. Is he regretting it? Thoughts!!!!
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