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Doubles

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  1. No Wiseman... now you're being presumptuous. The red flags only came up when I saw him recently. And I shared those with her, but was aware she might not see them the same way and needs to uncover the things she wants to. What I see as a red flag is not something to make an assumption or judgement on, but something to explore and determine if it really is one. I always take heed of them, but alot of other people don't.
  2. It was a little more than a first date, there was a 12m history. There were some red flags that came up for me as I was getting to know him, that I was keen to explore and see if they were genuine red flags or not. I have expressed that I didn't want her to miss out on happiness and said to her that they should continue - I knew she would resent me otherwise. I had been ok with it for for past week, but got a pang when she said things were going really well. I have no doubt I will be over it tomorrow. I just know, right or wrong, I wouldve struggled to continue if the shoe was on the other foot.
  3. Thanks both... yes, probably more upset that I know I wouldn't have done that to her. I'm not that desperate to be with someone that I'd hurt my friend in the process. But I also knew I would feel shocking if I caused unhappiness for her when their attraction was mutual, so i didn't want her to not go forward because I asked her not to. I would've preferred her to choose to not go forward because she realised it wasn't the right thing to do. I stepped back and allowed it to happen, but she really didn't do the right thing by me.
  4. Sorry... when she first met him, she didn't know I had been catching up with him
  5. Yes, it was a coincidence and it's all unfortunate circumstances - it's just I come off as the loser. She met him 3 days after I caughr up with him, and that's when he went quiet on me. But when she met him. He obviously enjoyed their first date and thought to dump me and pursue her in the process, without realising she was my friend Everyone knows now and she's seen him a couple more times since. The way I see it, I don't have any options with him as he changed his mind on me. I can't stop her continuing to see him, or she'd resent that. But there is a bit of resentment on my part that she opted to go forward, and I don't think highly of him for boldly changing his mind and calling a judgement on me after one date with her.
  6. Am I being silly?? I know he clearly liked me.
  7. I met a guy onlline a year ago - we got on great, but he said he was just out of a relationship and wasn't ready, so took his profile down. After Covid etc, we both found ourselves back online and reconnected and met. We got on exceptionally well and he said he wanted to see me again. He reiterated this by messages the following days - then comm stopped. He ended up saying he didn't want to take things further. Then that night I was talking with my bestie who was also online, and I asked how the dating was going. She ended up meeting him in the past couple of days and he's asked to see her again. He's chosen her instead of me! I'm obviously out of the picture because of what he's told me, but I still feel resentful that she's continuing on. I'm confident if they didn't meet, I'd be continuing with him.
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