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I understand that my environment may be too foreign to your own. Normally I would agree with you, however our group is a little different from the average group. Dating is something very serious to us, and must have the intention of wedding. Also our meetings are religious in nature and dating outside of it is frowned upon, so I and these girls follow those rules. I don't really want to turn this conversation into a flamewar about religion, so please don't ask about that. No, I haven't dated before. There were before girls that were interested in me. Some I simply found ugly, some I didn't recognize they were interested until it was too late, and some showed an subtle initial interest and I tried to slowly evolve a friendship but it didn't pan out, maybe our interests were too different.

Hello, I was very busy this week. Like I said here before, last time I was wearing a black coat with a white shirt. Today we had another meeting, and yes, the girl I love ( let's call her girl B ) was wearing a black dress with white stripes. The trend is still going strong. This time I used something more elaborate, a shirt with flower drawings similar to one I saw her use another time, so if she wants I know she can copy it again. But with the other girl ( let's call her girl A because this thread was about her ) something strange happened. She messaged me on monday. We texted for a little over an hour, and she even sent me a pic of her. Unfortunately I had to do something else after so I had to end the conversation. On tuesday at night I sent an apology for having to end the conversation and she said there was no worries, but then she went silent, I found it weird she didn't talk more. I didn't want to put pressure on her so I let her be, and I was busy myself. So I waited until saturday when I was more free and then I sent an hello to her... but she didn't reply anymore, she left me on read... I know she has her meeting today, so I will wait after it's finished to ask her if everything is ok. But I noticed I started to have chest pains from the day I noticed that Girl B was copying my colors. I started making more exercises (my job is very sedentary), but the pain goes back and forth... I realized it can only be my anxiety of how to talk to her. And can I tell you guys a secret? I know she is copying me because I was copying her before. Like her, I started copying from one meeting to the next, but soon I changed to copy her after two meetings. Due to the pandemic nobody from our group is having social events. So it's not like I can invite her out for now. I heard her mother caught covid but it wasn't too serious, she didn't need hospitalization. So my only available option is to message her. Maybe I should talk about having problems with anxiety, it's something we have in common, but of course I don't want to talk only about bad stuff.

I only used the word "love" for the girl that lives near me. I always saw her in person before the pandemic. It's a hint. How many times does it take to you acknowledge that it's not a coincidence? [1] No, I can't because $Reasons. [2] Also no. I'm very shy and as I said before, being social takes a great effort for me. The only thing I can do is working on improving myself, but I'm planning to start asking my local group of friends for help in meeting women and starting more friendships. The girl you said I'm fixated on is the one who lives near me, the one who lives far is the one who contacted me and not the other way around.

The first no, she is 350km away. The last time I saw the second in person was in march or april 2020.

The question is how, King! 😄

You're still confusing things. For two consecutive times, my dream girl watched what colors I was wearing and then on the NEXT meeting, she was wearing those same colors.

Clearly not good advice. No good outcome can come out of this. Last time I was wearing black with a white shirt, let's see if the trend continues. Sorry, you are confusing the girls. The first girl that said that actually DO changed her mind and she came back to me to try again. I was talking about the second girl.

Because I love her ? And it shouldn't be the end of the world? And I asked her one year and nine months ago? And I'm getting the felling that she _does_ like me but is also very shy and she doesn't know how to speak to me or even starting a romantic relationship ? Especially last time that I asked her, was being a difficult time for her, maybe it was not the right time ? Maybe I need to have a longer conversation before without being so upfront about my intent ? Because she didn't give me a reason to believe that she would never change her mind ? Really, this should not be a hard time. If this is such an agony for women, then it is being done wrong. There has to be a way to do this that is not unconfortable. Let us please consider an hypothesis for now. Suppose she really is wearing the same colors as I am to send me a message. How should I respond that ?

@Tinydance No, because she lives in another state, she's 350km away from me (220 miles). I must talk to my dream girl. The help I would really appreciate is tips in how to do that, what to say, how to keep the bridge open, etc. I intend to tell her that she is the girl I love but if she doesn't feel the same, then I'll start seeing another girl. I know for a fact that she's shy and very attractive. There must be many other guys who'd want to date her, because of her shyness I really doubt she would confess to the guy she loves, she would much more probably date someone who asked her out who she'd have some interest in. Her father is very strict and has some authority and influence in our group, that's why I think he might be against it. I think I'm a quite good candidate but his bar is likely very high. But there's nothing that should be a red flag for him to see in me, afaik. I just want to have a casual conversation with her without pressure, but our shyness make this very difficult.

GUYS GUYS GUYS OP HERE. SOME MAJOR PLOT TWIST JUST HAPPENED. The same girl last weekend was again in the same zoom meeting where I was. She asked if I was still single and I started talking normally about how I was trying to meet more women, then she said she changed her mind and was willing to give ourselves a chance to know each other better and maybe turn it into a relationship. Of course I was amazed. These last weeks I'm being very busy with work, so we only messaged one time, but she invited me to her zoom meeting on the next weekend. Meanwhile... I noticed something from another girl who is the girl of my dreams. She's only 9 and a half years younger than me, not 14. I don't even remember when it was that I first met her, I think it's between 6 and 8 years. It really was love at first sight for me. But I'm very shy and to me being social feels like a chore, it takes effort but I still try to grab every opportunity that I can. So we sometimes have gone together with some friends to go bowling, eating out or going to volunteer work. But we couldn't never have a one on one conversation. Of course I know that my shyness is hindering me, so I try to work on every quality that I can - I work a lot, I watch my diet, and in general have a good reputation in our group of friends. So, after years of crushing on her, in december of 2019 I confessed to her. She was having some strong problems with anxiety and started taking some medications from what I heard. And sometimes she would do things that looked to me like she was actually interested in me. To give some examples, once we were playing the Irish Snap card game with friends, and in a very fast movement my hand covered hers. Immediately after she started to fan herself, like she was feeling heat. In another occasion she did this again when someone complimented me and my garments. In another time we were playing volleyball with friends, she in the other team, and another person in my team said he would take the next ball, but the ball came exactly between him and me and we just looked at each other while the ball falled straight. And then she started to laugh histerically because of that, to me it looks like it was because of me, because it was expected that I had gone for the ball but I didn't. When I confessed to her, I asked if she was interested in me and all she could say was " no", grinning probably because it's an awkward situation, but I quickly tried to confort her, saying that it was no problem and that I understood it, then I wished her to improve with her anxiety problem. But after the "no" she was speechless and all she did was stare at me, it was not a stare of fear, but she looked like she was surprised. Now, what she did is, for two consecutive meetings, she was wearing exactly the same color of clothes that I used on the meeting before. I know it sounds like a mundane coincidence, but the first time I noticed it she was wearing a red coat with a white shirt, exactly the same tones and combination I used the previous time. I thought it was a coincidence, and I was wearing a dark blue coat and shirt. The next meeting, she was wearing the same tone of blue that I was! I think she is in many ways very like me, maybe (or probably) even more shy than I am. We both talk to our friends but we can barely look at each other in the face, let alone talk. Or maybe it's my brain fooling me. She is 25yrs old now and afaik never had a bf. So now I'm wondering if I should message her or not, and then if I do, what to say! I obviously don't want to bother her if she truly has no feelings for me, but I think her father does not want she to date me and that could be what is holding her back.

Thanks everyone for replying. Yes, obviously there isn't any other course of action that just accepting, but the point of my post is not about changing her mind, I just wanted to understand why she was attracted in the first place, and your replies helped me a lot, so thanks everyone, it's appreciated. I am very shy and inexperienced with dating, I just don't know how to start a conversation with an unknown girl. I fear that any introduction that I use will imediately make any girl lose interest. But maybe I can copy the way she did it, bc if girls acted like that, how bad can it be?

I was in a zoom meeting and a friend of a friend asked my contact from her. When this common friend told me about her, she said that this girl "liked me." I added her and we talked for 2 days. But one of the first things she asked me was my age. I told her I'm 35 and she told me she is 21. I found her really pretty. But the next day she opened the game that she couldn't see herself with me because of the age gap. I told her that I know many couples that have a big age gap but she thinks that that is a sign of desperation. I completely respect her decision, but then why did she felt attracted to me in the first place? I have felt attraction to older and younger women before, but so far I have never found a woman who liked me mutually.