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anononon

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Posts posted by anononon

  1. I have been in a relationship with my significant other for 3 months, and things have been going reasonably well, including being introduced to her family, but it is clear that I like her more than she likes me.  This is evidenced by me messaging first (she will always reply), putting her more as a priority, and arranging all the dates we meet up.

    What should I do?

    a) break up - your relationship is doomed to fail

    b) continue doing what your doing! Girls love a reliable loving man!

    c) tone it down and give her space - give her time for her feelings to develop more

    d) other 

     

  2. 14 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

    If she's receptive to it and you've addressed this, you will just have to practice some patience seeing whether it takes effect over time. Be patient. You're essentially sh-tting where you eat - same department, same building, same area. Not a good call in the first place.

    Give it time to unfold and if it doesn't or she keeps cancelling, both of you aren't on the same page or you don't understand or know her well enough on whether her life can even support a relationship at this time. Why is she so poorly with her health and sick all the time? Does she have a medical condition you don't know about or poor immune system? Get to know each other a bit more. 

    If this isn't working out, end it peaceably and go your separate ways.

     

     

    thank you for your thoughts.

    LOL yeah same workplace 😂- poor decision making hahahahaha

    She doesn’t have a medical condition. She doesn’t get sick very often...it’s just unlucky recently.

    I will give it some time :)

    • Like 1
  3. 5 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

    When you need to essentially tell someone to be more interested in you, you're generally barking up the wrong tree. 

     

    3 hours ago, Jibralta said:

    These things are always hard to gauge when you're not actually there to witness the dynamic.

    I don't know if you're being "needy," but whether you are or not, it's clear that your needs aren't being completely met and that you're not content.

    Yes, it's only been three months. So, it's possible she will change. But I don't think it's likely. She just doesn't seem to be prioritizing this relationship to the same degree that you are. 

    If you want to give it more time, then give it more time. But like MissCanuck says, you can't tell someone to be more interested in you.

    Thank you for your replies.  Very interesting viewpoint.   I essentially saw the situation as my emotional needs are not being met, rather than telling her to be more interested in me and I wanted to communicate that to her (which she appeared receptive to).

    In regards to whether she is "prioritizing this relationship to the same degree" that I am, to me, this remains to be seen... 

    I will reconsider my position.

    4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

    Is she on/off with someone? She doesn't seem into this as much as you are.

    If you are her superior at work, you need to tone it down.

    The last thing you want is her claiming you're sexually harassing her by insisting she text more and demanding she spend more time with you.

    Step back. Being controlling and possessive is not a good look.

    Even worse when she's in a subordinate position at the workplace.

    Thank you for your reply. She is not on/off with someone.  There is no concern regarding sexual harassment etc. I didn't think I was being controlling/possessive but will reconsider.

    • Thanks 1
  4. I agree I am being overly needy though its difficult to get time off together (we both work rosters)

    I agree 3 months is not a long time, but it's interesting to me that the first reaction is essentially "give up on her".

    Anyways, we spoke about it, and I told her to prioritize time together and she has agreed and to try to communicate in different ways...lmao

    • Like 1
  5. Hey guys, wanted to vent and thought of no better way than asking anonymous people on the internet for advice.

    Essentially, the question is - are my feelings valid, or whether my actions are being detrimental to the relationship (which I have a sneaking suspicion they may)

    About me - 31 years old, fairly successful at work, have been in 4 previous "serious" relationships lasting between 6 months to 1.5 years

    About her - 26 years old, also fairly successful at work, have been in a single 5 year relationship previously

    About us - We met at work and we work in the same department and directly work with each other, though under different chains of command.  We are both professionals, and her job is somewhat of a support role to mine.  Most of the people in her role now know about us but almost nobody in my role knows about us...

    We started seeing each other on "outings" about 8 months ago.  3 months into that, I told her I liked her, and we started "dating" exclusively for about 3 months, and then entered "into a relationship" after that (when she said her "real feelings" developed, which is actually quite a mature thing to do IMO...kinda sucked waiting for that long though). 1.5 months into our relationship, she has taken me home to meet her family.

    Since the beginning, we see each other about 2-3 times every 3 weeks, given our differing work schedules.

    Over the last month...I have seen her twice, and am feeling a bit disconnected (we do message everyday though)

    3 weeks ago, we were supposed to go on a roadtrip, but she was sick and it was cancelled.  2 weeks ago, we met up and had dinner with her family. Last week we met up 2-3 hours before I had to work.  This week we were going to go on a 2 day roadtrip (which got cancelled to 1 day, as she had a prior commitment (dinner) with a friend which she forgot about (which I'm okay with) but then now she is sick and the 1 day is cancelled.

    She is quite cold over messenger (just the way she communicates), and I don't feel like my emotional needs are being met, so I have asked her to prioritize more dates.  Is this a valid thing to do, or am I being needy/overbearing?

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