EitherDare0

I agree, just sucks because the ideal is to hit it off so strongly you can't get enough of each-other. that is what happened in my 2.5 yr relationship, the sparks, passion, and fire were so strong, it was like we couldn't get enough of eachother. I loved that. Yeah Girl 1 is a little peculiar. To give her some credit, she is in a tough field, Biomedical Sales, while trying to finish her MBA too, and she's a workout-aholic, either training at the gym or mountain biking etc nonstop. It's like when I think "Well maybe her slow to respond etc means she just isn't interested" she will text with some intent, seem interested to be texting, in-depth responses with substance etc. She does not just text one liners or politely answer. BUT then again it's like, do your actions speak louder than words? She was telling me the other day she had to cancel on her friends bc she had so much going on with school and work, and was telling me "Never go back to school it's killing me!" One thing is for certain, I am not going to chase. It hasn't been two weeks yet since our first date, and we do talk a little here and there. I do not really have any issue with taking it this slow so early on, but I guess we'll see where it goes. So many unknowns. Also probable there are other men too she is trying to balance in there. Right now it's no harm no foul, she owes me nothing and it's so early on, but either we see each-other and the desire grows, or it fizzles out bc I am not enough of a priority. This kind of stuff is why I always tell my friends do not even ask about my dating life. If someone makes it to a month and it seems solid, then you can know lol.

She is 29. When we spoke early on she said her goal is to find someone to settle down with, to have kids etc. We agreed that doesn't mean rush into it for the sake of it, but she did say that's her goal, and she felt like her clock was ticking a little bit being 29. Her words...

Definitely, which is why she will be a higher priority for me. Which honestly is fine, that's part of why I think early on talking to a few different people of interest is a good idea. It's always an interesting ride.

Sucks having to be that patient. I guess I am one who when I like someone, I want to see them a good amount. I do not want to become their world, and they can and should do other things, hang out with friends, etc. Sucks that my personality style is less bothered by consistent time together. I know in part that stems from my strong desire to be in a committed relationship, maybe to find what I used to have, and want to have again. Girl 1 had told me tentatively Thursday, as long as she is able to get enough of her homework done. Not sure how I feel about this one. She maintains enough interest and keeps talking like she wants to see me again, but it does feel a little like it's not high on her list, in a way. I get busy, but I feel like you make time if you really want to see someone. Girl 2 said "I hope to see you on my off days. 🙂 " But seeing as I already floated that before I told her "I do too, but that;s up to you, ya already know I am in. " I certainly have more faith in girl 2, she seems to want to make it happen more.

Could she have been more blunt about it, sure. That being said, it is very possible she wasn't because she selfishly like what you brought to the table. OR, it is also possible that she felt bad, didn't want to hurt your feelings. Maybe a combo of both However, in her mind, the whole internet searching of other guy playing detective sort of meddling, that probably ticked her off, so she blocked you. She no longer felt bad. Or she felt that you were interfering with her life in a way not ok. Only you can know what you'll do if you bump into her. Your heart might drop, and you will not want to see her. What I hope you can do, is give it time and space, find someone new to invest your time in. Then if you run into her, you can smile, be friendly, but like you don't give a shizz about any of this anymore. Heck, she may be friendly with you again if you do that.

She is trying to keep you on the hook. All the benefits for her of a BF, with none of the commitment. Going out on other dates etc. It's like you are the backup plan... which is ***ty. Two choices, tell her you like her, want to be official, and if not you understand but you cannot see her anymore. Second, disconnect now before you get more attached than you are, because you are, and heal. Long time ago I had similar. I told the girl I was not ok being like that, and it was either we are exclusive and I am her BF, or I am out. Two weeks later, she asked me to be her boyfriend. We dated for 2.5yrs...

This is cruel and you probably should not actually do it. But honestly he was such an arse. it would be kind of funny if you briefly screwed with him and told him the lodged condom must have contained semen bc you're now pregnant Hahaha don't actually do that, he would deserve it though.

It happens. Sometimes you get ghosted, and there is no real reason. Not long ago, I was to meet a girl, and 30min before the date, she canceled bc she hurt her back. She agreed to talk on the phone bc she felt bad. We had a great 1hr plus conversation, easy to talk to, she was laughing a lot etc. She said she wanted to make it up to me, so in a few days she'd plan a date for us. Next day we texted a lot, good conversation again, she said she was excited to meet me. Out of nowhere, radio silence, ghosted, never said another word. Day of the date came, reach out to see... nothing. People are strange, no rhyme or reason why. Sadly, so early on, it is like you are one wrong move or word away from it going south. Sucks to have to worry about that, which also makes on overthink... like you have done here. That being said, if she was so worried about your vax status..... hard pass my friend. You likely dodged a bullet.

This is more for the ladies. What is a good rate of pace for progressing things, second date, talking via text or phone etc? Girl 1, we matched, and I introduced the idea of a phone call before meeting. We talked for an hour, had great conversation and she told me I was easy to talk to and she'd like to meet. I took her out for brunch Saturday, January 15th. I do think we had a nice time, and she said she'd like to meet again. She is a terrible texter though, and has been since the beginning. Constantly saying she forgot to respond, or was sooo busy etc. So I thought at first that she wasnt interested, but then she did follow through and go out with me anyhow. After the date she said she'd like to again. It's at the point where I may text her during the day, she'll finally get back to me around 10pm. She has told me she is so slammed all the time that she uses her winding down period at 9-10pm to catch up on the social life. She works FT in a tough job and is pursuing her MBA. She is also a workout-aholic. A few days ago I had mentioned the only free time I had this week was Wednesday and Thursday... which she told me probably wouldn't work but she'll let me know. So for now, we text eachother maybe once or twice a day. She has made it a point to continually text me too and at least talks genuinely interested. So unless she is super super nice and doesnt know how to tell someone she isn't interested, I guess she is still interested. Girl 2, matched, and she wanted to facetime. We did, and it was really nice. We went out this past Thursday and had a really nice time. I told her in-person I liked her and I want to see her again. She agreed and seemed genuinely interested. She is very good with communication, is not hesitant to text me and strike up the conversation. If I text her, she is always very responsive quickly, using a lot of emojis etc. I mentioned I was free Wednesday and Thursday and she seemed to be glad to see I was asking, but will have to let me know because she is out of town. She seems more of a go getter than girl 1, she will make more intent to strike up a conversation or ask me how I am, or how my day is going. Girl 1 certainly will text and be responsive, but isn't as proactive. Could be a difference in personality, could be less intersted? Who knows.... I am not sure of the timing of things. Is it normal to hit it off well with someone, but wait a few weeks to go out again? Would women usually do that even if super interested.... or would rather they make time earlier if asked if they really wanted to. I feel so out of touch with the dating world being out of the game soooo long. I do not want to overdo it and seem needy or clingy. But I want to do enough to maintain the attraction and show the interest, because I am not dumb and I know tons of men are always lurking. Which it is also possible each is talking with intent to other men too. Which is fine obviously, that's dating and understandable.

Honestly I have gone on a lot of first dates. I suppose I should feel confident in myself as it seems like I do not have much trouble finding women to go out with me. I am still pretty selective. There have been plenty of women I have not enjoyed enough to ask out. I have also been ghosted/bailed on a few times when dates were planned, but that seems to be the norm anymore in society sadly. Trying to keep the number high enough, but not too high. There are two women I have went out with recently, and want to see again. There are two more that seems to be heading in the direction of a first date soon. Not to sound arrogant, but there are other women I could take out most likely, but I am not feeling them enough. I have no idea how women do it. It is exhausting talking with intent to 4-5 women, I cannot imagine being a girl having sooooo many more trying.

I suppose the casual things is more of a fulfillment thing. One was when I was out of town for a few days, so that's for sure over. The other, I think honestly both of us just needed some release in this crazy ass dating world we live. It was established for what it was. I do not want to sleep around, and I don't plan on it. However, when the dating game doesn't seem to be going well for me, I start to get frustrated, and there is a little evil voice inside of me that pushes me to go sleep around. It sounds juvenile. I would imagine psychologically it is a way that I cope for rejection and inability to get into a deep, meaningful relationship. Now for the actual dating scene (different girls) Both women I went on first dates with, I had a really good time with. The conversations flowed well and I genuinely think both went well. They both still talk to me and seem interested in more. Well in fact they've both said they;d enjoy going out with me again. My problem is I am trying to not be too much too soon. I am not sure what the timetable is. My last significant GF, the spark was so strong we could not get enough of each-other. So I never felt like I was too much too soon. Both women I went on first dates with recently, I have thought about A LOT. I've been doing my best not to overplay my hand, but also keep in enough contact they can tell I still have interest. I want to see both of them again.

As someone who spent 2.5 years with a literal diagnosed narcissist. This does NOT sound like narcissism. I think it's just being human. You liked this girl, and you were willing to put yourself in the the waiting zone, hoping she'd change her mind. She told you she didn't want anything, several times. In part, that could have been a nice way of rejecting you specifically. She obviously liked spending time with you and wanted to continue. I do not know your level of friend, but it's possible she was sort of using you a little, to sort of fill that void of a committed partner. Until she found someone she wanted to be with... and of course was not honest about bc she likely didn't want to hurt you, and selfishly didn't want to ruin what you two have, which is convenient for her. You seemingly were the nice guy, she friend-zoned you, but you held hope she would change your mind. That rarely ever goes well. I understand you were upset to find she was dishonest, but you did go a bit far. Stocking social media and investigating into her love life.... yeah that;s not a good look. Makes you look jealous. Give her some space, leave her a lone for awhile. It is not likely you will return to what you were, sorry to say. But it certainly wouldnt be any time soon. Your best bet is to go find someone else that is willing to give you waht you're looking for.

How so? Anytime I tried to focus on one girl early on, it just left me feeling sad when it didn't work, and I feel like I was part of why it didn't work bc I was too invested in them only. Got burned on that twice. Women surely don't just talk to one man either. Chances are, in the early stages like this, they are easily talking to a few other men too. There is no pump and dump... Those other 2 women were clear casual fun encounters. One was in Texas during work, the other is local... but in both instances it's clear and communicated we were just having fun. No dates... What I want, is to pursue meaningful dates with a girl, feel that spark, and fall in love. The only two girls I am seriously considering, each one we've been out once. We talk fairly regularly, but I am trying to take it slow and be patient, which is what I did not do the first 2 times I was burned. Sadly, the last time I played the field and was meeting girls and having fun, I met a girl who I hit it off with so well, I stopped all that immediately and we ended up together for 5 years...

This guy knowingly got a condom stuck up in you, and he left you to go by yourself? Wow.... that answer is obvious, just hard to hear. That's a ***ty person. I've had established FWBs who I was considerate to far more than this guy who supposedly wants to be with you exclusively. Ditch that man.

She sounds like she wants to be a trophy wife.... like she wants a man to buy her everything while she just looks hot. You seem like you certainly have things together. What you listed, in my opinion, is more than enough to get started. What do YOU want? Do you want to have to keep her afloat and do all the heavy lifting? Does she plan on contributing significantly? Honestly, if she is giving you those impressions for good reason, RUN. That is probably part of the reason she does not have any kids yet. She might be a "I know my worth" type.... but in reality it's they want someone to put them on a pedestal. . Run! lol

I've been pretty significantly in the dating game for the past 3 months. Online has been my go to meeting women, and I have been able to attract and meet several women. It just never feels like I am able to go to the next step with any women romantically. Perhaps it is lofty expectations to hit it off really quickly? As in, maybe I need to be more mentally patient. I want to be at the point where the sparks fly. It's weird, it's as if I am not sure how to proceed to the next step. It gets deeper than that though. Internally, I am lonely, craving a serious partner to be with, to love me and me them. I cannot let that show, as I do not want to overload or scare off anyone. So I am extra careful on not seeming desperate or too much too soon. There are two women that I have been talking with, and so far so good, but it's only been about a week, I went on a date with each. I talked to each about a 2nd date, and we agreed to a second date in both cases, but I have not been specific yet, as I wanted to give it a little bit. I myself could go out every other day with either of these women, and be very happy. However, many people aren't like that. To compensate for my loneliness, I have my own demons I have been trying to keep away. I have been able to attract and sleep with two other women, one when out of town, and another local.... both in agreement of casual fun. BUT that's not what I truly want. It fulfills my desires sexually, but all I really want is one single woman that I love, and they love me, and we have all the great things that come with a truly loving relationships. I do not want to be a man-***, or serial dater dating 5 different women at once. All my friends think it's great, but they are married and do not know the true lonely world I live in. All I want is a partner and best-friend, to fulfill and share my life with. But I cannot seem to figure out how to obtain it.

Not entirely sure what else I am supposed to do. Been single and focused on myself for a long time. Completely immersed myself in the gym. Made new friends in my new state, doing new things, being active, etc. Have written about it, talked about it til I am blue in the face with friends. I have had zero contact with my ex. Blocked her long ago and we have not spoken. I don't want to be with her. I miss the old her, not who she has became now. Not at all. It's been 7mos now. It has gotten much much better. That being said, it still hasn't completely gone away. In actuality, one girl I had met helped so much, I did not even think about my ex at all. Meeting new women has been the best coping mechanism I have found in all of this.

I'm sure he likes you. He also is probably not in a hurry and is just going with the flow, letting things come organically. The fact he isn't all over you or trying to screw you is not a bad thing at all. Not all of us men want that. (I had a recent date over, but she was weary bc she didn't want to hookup yet, so I gave her my word I wouldn't, and we didn;t" At risk of annoying some people, men also tend to know that sometimes women like the chase. I for one can attest to that, it seems keeping some distance and leaving you wondering a little early on, tends to attract the woman more. Honestly the othwer way around as well with men wanting women who are not as easy. It's science lol ! I would not stress it, give it sometime and see if it progresses. Also, if you are interested, you can ask him out too ya know!

Hahaha sadly no. That one didn't ever recover. It seemed for awhile perhaps it would, as we had talked about she wanted to "Try again a week from now lets let things cool off." But then a little over a week later I got the word, she told me she did not want to date me or anyone at the moment, and cut things off..... Oh well. I move quick I know! And for good reason, because anytime it seems there isn't someone new and exciting on the horizon, I start to re-think back to my ex that royally fugged me up for a long time, back in late Spring.

I was seeing this girl for about 3 weeks. It came out of nowhere, but we hit it off what seemed very well. We had such a good first date, we agreed to go out again the next night. We did, both were wonderful. A few days later after a lot of texting, she mentioned wanting to see me again the next night. I explained I certainly wanted to and would be ok with it, but I did not want to overdo it too soon. She ensure not only does she not think it's being overdone, she wants to see me too and why wait. So we did, and had another great time. On date 3, we finally kissed/made out passionately in the car. And it was very passionate. She was telling me how I was such a good kisser, how tempted she was to do more with me etc. So this is about a week after meeting. Things continue to go well, and by date 4 she was asking if I was seeing/planning to go on dates with anyone else. I told her I had been messaging a few girls, but honestly I was enjoy my time with her and didn't really want to talk to anyone else. She more than agreed, in fact told me she had canceled a date with another man and shut all dating down, because she liked me. We agreed we are certainly not exclusive yet, and still free to see and do whatever. We were having so much fun together. After date 5 (2 weeks in) she agreed, a little hesitantly at first, to come over and watch a movie after. We agreed that although both were wanting to go further, we would not yet. I promised her as much as I wanted, I would behave and not let it go past kissing, cuddling etc. She said she was worried she might try more, but I assured her as much as she did, I would not let it happen. I like her and think we should wait awhile. She came over, I kept my word, it never escalated past making out etc, she spent the night, all was well. Date 6 was ok, but I was stressed from work and feel like we were a little off. Chemistry was a little off that day. To my surprise, she invited me to a bar crawl the next night with some friends of hers. She insisted I go. It was a pretty good time overall, but she got very drunk and sloppy, was all over me too much, and even spilled an entire beer on me. It was not a bad time, but it was a little much. I think she could sense I was annoyed. 3 days go by, and we talked via text and on the phone some, but it did seem a little less engaging. Finally I texted her and asked if I could take her out in a few days. She didn't answer for awhile and then I got the "are you free to talk" text. Uh oh. So we did, and ultimately my sense was right, she was distant, because she decided she did not feel a spark for me. It wasn't an argument, but talked about it further as it seriously caught me off guard. It did not seem that way at all, she was all over me a lot, holding hands, kissing me, acting sexually playful, spent the night etc. She explained that she was doing all that, in part because she wanted to feel it, because I was such a great guy, but she just didn't. She thinks I am very attractive, but she just does not feel like she wants to sleep with me, does not feel that intimate connection. Told me I am one of the better looking men she's ever dated, but we just did not have the chemistry enough to feel a "Spark" and knows that if she hasn't felt it by now, that she knows it won't happen and does not want to waste our time . Now, I respect her for calling me and telling me how she feels. For talking about it and explaining how she was feeling. Rejection is never easy, but I will be fine. That being said, *** lol. I do not understand how one can act like that for weeks, want to see me A LOT, get very affectionate with me quite often, honestly at times too much maybe. How do you act like that for weeks if you did not feel a "Spark" that entire time? She claims nobody else, no EX, no rebound etc. and that she wanted badly to feel the spark because I'm such a great guy, but didn't. This is why dating not only sucks, but is very confusing lol.

I definitely accept it honestly. Not that I want to, but she made it clear. If I was someone she really wanted to see or wants to see, she will. I did tell her if she would be interested, feel free to reach out as I would appreciate seeing her again. Just doing my best to remind myself not to stress it, I cannot control it, and although we hit it off quickly and well at first, 2 long dates... not much of an investment at all and I am sure I will be over it pretty fast. Yeah, that's the surprising part. I admit, I only gave this new girl a chance because I did not want to put all my eggs in one basket, but dang am I glad I did. We also have hit it off really well. I am sort of afraid it may not have staying power, but I am enjoying the ride so far. But again damn, the girl the thread is about. Something about her, she has had me since day 1. And honestly it may sound strange, but I have not felt like that about a girl since my last GF. It was refreshing, and honestly at the very least greatly helped me remember my worth and that there is hope for me out here afterall.

I definitely took a step back. She did text me and tell me things were moving kind of fast, but she knows I meant's well and we'd let things cool off a week and try again the following week. However, I did not hear from her really at all after that. So I did not say anything to her at all for a week. Then just gave a simple "Hey, how is your first week back in pharmacy school going?" Nothing too crazy, and she responded but still seemed a little distant. Finally I asked if she would in fact like to make plans like she had mentioned. She told me it was a terrible week for her with pharmacy school, exams, other engagements. Fortunately for me, I had another opportunity to talk to another girl, and we've gone out a few times and that's going well, so it certainly takes the focus off just this girl. However, this girl, did text me today and told me "She does not think she wants to reschedule or date anytime soon. She realized being back into pharmacy school, she barely has time to breathe, and although I am an "amazing person" and she had a lot of fun with me, she does not have time or energy to invest in me, or anyone for that matter." So obviously that's a major bummer, but I fully admire her honesty and told her I appreciated her letting me know. I guess for me now it's hard to tell if that is the whole truth, or if it's just a convenient/nice way to say I lost interest or whatever. I suppose I do not have any reason to think she is not being fully honest. I know I know it doesn't matter, she's respectfully told me right now she isn't dating, so I will respect that and leave things alone, but damn I do have to say I cannot stop thinking about this girl. Also, what I did not know, is that she is only 2 months out of a relationship. So I have a feeling that she and I hit it off really well, got really close really quickly, and it sort of scared her. I do not blame her if that's true, 2 months is very fast. Perhaps she should be completely single for awhile, it's likely for the best. The next question for me is do I reach out down the road? We went out twice, had great times, she discontinued with very valid and respectful reasons. I would definitely appreciate seeing her again in the future IF we are both single and available emotionally. I have zero intention of holding out for her, and I know it's plausible she meets someone else at any time. However, I do think it would be harmless if months from now, I reach out and see if she is interesting in me taking her out again. Guess time will tell. Although if things continue to go this well with this other girl I have been seeing who came out of left field, may not matter lol. But damn, I really liked this girl, and she is on my mind a lot.

Working out, trying to stay sane, trying to be social. I am a mess. It's clear. I am depressed. I told myself not to get my hopes up, I did anyhow, and probably sabotaged it already. I'm so tired of dating, I am tired of failing, I am tired of it all. Honestly, Idk why I am even alive. I don't want to kill myself or anything, but I am so tired of living, feeling like this and I feel trapped and alone.

Well, for one I think I am super F'd up mentally at this point from past relationships. For two, because I really like this girl. I did NOT tell her this, but I feel like I've known her longer than I have. We hit it off, got really close really fast, holding hands, cuddling, kissing. Probably too fast, but it felt right, and she was all about it too. I do not want to blow this, and I am trying hard to not seem overeager or needy. I realize I probably already have to an extent. Which is partly why I have posted on here, and have done my best to shut up and give some space to her and see where it goes, rather than post my word vomit like I have on here.

Ughhh. Sucks, we were just having a fun time together and I got a little overzealous. I guess the strange thing is she didn't act like it bothered her in the moment really, or later that day, or the next days. So perhaps it lingered on her. Or perhaps it didn't bother her all that much, but then I was too talkative and come off as needy or something. ***... I hate dating and always having to be on edge. So you think it would be a bad idea to say "Hey, I was thinking about Wednesday and I do not think asking you to spend the night was a good idea, don't you think? We do not know eachother that well and that was too fast. I really did have good intentions as I only thought of it as a convenient for you to school the next day. I realize that is not a good look and it's a lot so soon as we barely know eachother. I think I just got a little excited and overzealous when we were hanging out" ?