We haven’t even been married a year and I’m starting to feel like our marriage is heading in the wrong direction. I feel as though my husband has changed. There is hardly any romance at all in the marriage anymore and like I mentioned we haven’t even been married a year!!! We have not been intimate for almost 4 months!! I have not tried to initiate because last time I did I was turned down and it had me feeling bad about myself. He doesn’t hardly like any form of PDA, he thinks it’s tacky. Even when I try to go in for a kiss in the privacy of our own home he kind of gets taken back by it and makes some kind of comment. We also use to always kiss each other goodnight, but that has stopped too. I’m honestly feeling like we are now more so roommates than husband and wife.
I feel like we have a fight at least once a week and somehow in the end I always end up being the bad guy and apologizing. He calls me a liar and says I lie all the time to him. There was a time when we were with some friends and my husband told me to shut up and the friends commented on how disrespectful that was. I brought that up to him and told him I didn’t like how he told me to shut up. He acted like it wasn’t a big deal. He was like what else I’m I suppose to say? I was maybe like try please be quiet or stop that. He was just like what is the difference. Maybe saying that wasn’t as disrespect as I thought it was, but the fact that he is ok with telling his wife to shut up bothers me too.
I do pretty much all the cooking and cleaning and hardly ever get a thank you from him, but if he cleans the dishes he needs to make it known and pretty much waits for a thank you. Or if he buys dinner and I forget to thank him, he makes sure to bring it up and says I never got a thank you. But I do things all the time for him and don’t hear a thank you all the time and don’t make comments about it.
I’ve always wanted children too, but now I’m feeling like either I’m not ready because the option to have kids is really there now or I don’t want them yet because I’m not 100% certain on our marriage. And these kind of thoughts scare me, because something that I’ve always wanted so badly is now a big question for me.
Sometimes I cry when I try to ask myself is this what I deserve and I’m I truly happy. I just feel like I’m stuck in what to do and what I want. I love my husband but feel like things have changed in our relationship. I feel like our communication is not the best either. Sometimes I don’t tell him what’s going on right away because I’m scared how he will respond. Or sometimes something is wrong and I’m not really sure why I feel the way I do. He is also bad at communicating his thoughts and feeling and a lot of times he will say nothing is wrong when I know better, but if I do the same thing he calls me a liar.
I also think he drinks too much and lately on weekends he is drinking to the point of getting drunk. Sometimes he can get mean when he is drunk and tells me to F*** off and calls me a skank. I know he is drunk, but it still hurts my feelings wither he is drunk or not.
Sometimes I also question wither my husband truly loves me or not and is just settling. He has told me before that he has stayed with one of his ex-gfs even though the relationship was dead because he was scared to be alone. I keep thinking about that and wandering if he married me just because I was good enough and he didn’t want to be a lone. It also concerns me because if he is not happy in the marriage he might just stay in it, so he isn’t alone.
These are just some of my major concerns. I’m just wondering if it sound like our marriage is heading for a crash and burn situation or if there is still a chance to rekindle the fire we once had not so very long ago. I’m not one that ever wants to get divorced, but if I’m feeling like this not even a year into the marriage; I don’t know how the next 20 plus years will be. Thank you for any opinions and advice in advance.