It's a regular friday night and I feel like venting so here we go!
At school I'm quite sociable. I talk to many people and have a large amount of friends. Even to my acquaintances I'll wave and talk to them if they're lonely and will always include them in conversations but no one seems to do the same for me. When the teacher says to partner up, no one comes up to me first and I end up being picked if there's no one else left. When I had recess back in elementary school I'd always walk around so people could think I wasn't lonely. I only got asked to play with people a handful of times. I never got asked to have a playdate with my other classmates and the last time I got invited to a birthday party was 4 years ago. Not to mention that my last birthday party was in second grade and I don't know who to invite because I'm not sure anyone will show up.
I always wear a bright smile on my face and am constantly giggling only so people don't become suspicious. I see my friends posting photos of each other hanging out, talking about how fun they had. I'm not desperate to hang out, but it'd be nice to get a invitation once in a while. One instance of this is when all my friends gathered at a park a block away from house but didn't invite me-they know I live right by the park, but still I was left out.
Another thing is that people rarely text me. They only text me for "streaks" or homework help. When I do text people they'll leave me on delivered for hours. I try to make conversation and will always let people talk about their interests to me. I have friends, I know I do. But realising how I've never hung out with someone outside of school makes me contemplate that. Even my whole family has a running joke that I have no friends.
I'm not quite sure what to think, any help or if you have a similar experience and have tips on what to do would mean a lot to me.