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Everything posted by Dmrrr

  1. Really cause I came on here seeking help FOR MY KID!!! I’m leaving him FOR MY KID. I won’t let random people say I’m a bad mother, sorry that’s never going to happen. It has nothing to do with ego.
  2. *** you ***. Seriously it’s the same 4 or 5 of you calling me a bad mother based on a couple paragraphs you read. My child is my EVERYTHING. Do you even have kids?
  3. Really cause it’s the same 4 or 5 people with 2k + points or whatever it’s called ganging up on me calling me an abusive and bad mother. But at the same time giving me a domestic violence hotline to call which I could of sworn is for victims not abusers. So pick one. You read a couple paragraphs I wrote on an incident. I love my child more than anything and I came on here for help and I’ve been non stop crying because I swore being a mother was one of the ONLY things I was good at. But apparently I ***ing suck at that too. Waste of time coming on here
  4. I get that and I’m sorry to hear that. I’m sure there are forums that those exact teenagers/kids are on that you can help. This site might not be the best place for you to advise on if you’re just going to take out the anger you have toward your own parents on the parents on here asking for HELP! It makes us scared to ask for HELP!
  5. Yeah, I understand that. It’s just hard for me to sit here and be told I’m an abusive mother. I feel like if that was the case I wouldn’t of came on here to ask for help for her and I. Thanks
  6. I’m saying depending on their experience their view might be biased.
  7. I’m a dancer and also LOTS of women carry pepper spray for their own safety. I keep it far out of her reach. It also has a safety lock.
  8. We actually live with my mother and my sister. We pay rent but it’s technically her house. I’ve asked her for help leaving in the past and she says she doesn’t want to get involved. I don’t necessarily blame her as there have been so many times over the years that I’ve just gone back to him. However, another user said I can still have him removed from the home even though it’s not my house. So that’s what I’m going to do. I almost feel like a hostage. I tell him how bad we’re hurting our daughter and it’s better for us to be apart. He will NOT leave. He also pays most of the bills and holds things like that over my head. I try to have an adult conversation about separating and he almost like talks in circles and acts so confused until I’m so tired of debating about it and trying to explain my point that I just give up and let him stay. I guess it’s just manipulation tactics. Also, someone commented and said I’M an abuser as well. That really upset me because I know I’m better than this. I know I’m a good person and am just with someone that brings out the absolute worst in me. Sometimes I feel like the only way I’d ever truly get away from him is if one of us died. Thank you for your response, I really appreciate it.
  9. Thank you I really appreciate this. I have no friends because he doesn’t let me and has a problem with any new friends I try to make. I just feel so isolated. This forum is making me realize how badly my perception is skewed. Thank you. I found a hotline for my area.
  10. He doesn’t allow me to have friends. I literally have 0 people to talk to about any of this. I’m so isolated. I think that’s part of why I stay with him, just so I have some sort of human interaction. He’s literally the only opinion I have on things. As much as these comments hurt me and make me feel like a bad mother, I really do appreciate it and it makes me see how delusional I’ve been. So thank you.
  11. I agree. We live with my family and pay rent. It’s technically my moms house. I’ve asked her for help in the past to get him out and she says she doesn’t want to get involved. That’s probably my fault for always going back to him in the past. I really mean it this time just being around him makes me feel sick. Would I need my mothers permission to have him kicked out by police if it’s her house? This post is making me feel like I’m a terrible mother. I swear I’m not. My daughter loves us both but I do notice she is afraid of him sometimes.
  12. Are the people that reply to these posts counselors or just a bunch of people that have also been hurt/traumatized in their relationships? If it’s the latter I’m just wondering how accurate my responses will be.
  13. I’m not really sure how to word this. I’ve been with my child’s father since I was 16. I’m 24 now. I have a history of drug use with him but we have both been clean for almost 5 years since I had my daughter. The constant fighting and abuse hasn’t stopped though. When we were using he used to hit me but he hasn’t in quite a few years. However when we argue and he screams at me it really it triggers my PTSD from everything in the past. We fight constantly and I’m definitely not innocent because I also start fights and call him names, and he does the same to me. I try to keep it away from my daughter but he does it in front of her constantly. I tell him to leave and he won’t. This is such a small amount of backstory there’s so much more to it.. We were arguing this morning because he was getting my daughter ready for school and I saw her face was dirty and I said “I should just get her ready every morning since you don’t even clean her face.” I know it wasn’t the right thing to say but I feel so depressed all the time and I just start fights for no reason sometimes. Anyway, he started screaming in my face and balled up his fists at me. Like I said when he does this it triggers my PTSD and I feel like I need to react first so that if it does escalate I have a chance of getting the best of him. I got my pepper spray and jumped on him and said if he doesn’t stop screaming and balling his fists up at me I was going to spray him. My daughter was in the room. He said “do it, do it.” I told my daughter to leave the room and I did it. I feel like I was wrong because technically the threat had already stopped and he was just standing there with his arms behind his back taunting me. And I still did it. I feel so bad. He looked like he was in so much pain. I’m so confused. Usually when you hear domestic violence stories the guy is some drunk with no job. This man works countless hours and is a decent father. I’m so lost on who’s the real abuser here. Maybe it’s both.
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