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lachrymoose

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Everything posted by lachrymoose

  1. I'm aware that I'm the bad guy in this situation. I've since apologized to her and expressed my deepest regret. I've also sought counseling for the issues I'm undergoing. I knew she would move on, but it happened practically overnight and way faster than I could. I've learned a lot from the wrong decisions I made and know I will never repeat them, but it doesn't make my feelings any less real.
  2. I can only imagine how she felt. I know she was crushed from the breakup and even more when she found out I was talking someone else. 3 weeks after I left she had clearly gone to my Spotify account and seen I had made a playlist for another girl (an old coworker who re-connected with me) a few months prior. My ex sent me an angry text saying I cheated and betrayed her and that I will never hurt her again. I denied I had cheated but she didn't respond. She started dating her coworker within the week, which hurt me more than I'd like to admit. The next I had heard from her was a few months later when she texted on our would-be anniversary saying she was fondly thinking of our time together. I wrote her an expressive apology letter a month or so after that taking responsibility for everything I had done wrong.
  3. Thank you for the feedback. You're right that I'm overly attached now, but I was pretty detached during the relationship. I was the independent one and she was pretty dependent. I think the thing that's bothering me is that the first guy who showed interest in her after 4 years with me (less that a month after the breakup) is now the "love of her life". It makes me feel extremely replaceable, which causes cognitive dissonance because I know I am not.
  4. I know her very well. I know she wouldn't do that. Like I mentioned, he was "in love" with her when they were just coworkers so he must have come on very strong in the beginning. That's all I can point to for the short timeframe. You may still not believe me but can you pretend I'm right for just a second? If that were the case and she wasn't getting closer to him while we were together, would you still think she's moved on and happy?
  5. I very strongly related to this. I recently underwent a very similar situation with similar reservations regarding the relationship's long-term potential. I am still working through it all but I think I can offer helpful feedback. A month is not a lot of time to recover from a 4 year relationship so I would not suggest going back to her until you figure out what it is that you want. It probably feels like she's what you want now because you're so comfortable with her. Most people would rightfully say that if you didn't appreciate her while you had her then it will probably recur once/if you get her back. I think it's largely true, barring some huge epiphany that you want to change and can't imagine a life without her. If you're unsure of what you should do, then the answer is that you shouldn't go back. Take some time for yourself and try to see other people. Dating will help break some of the associations you have with her. Who knows... maybe a few years down the road you'll reconnect and be different people and it will work out much better but going back now would be forcing a square peg into a round hole. Good luck.
  6. Yes, it's the same one. Though I don't believe she checked out of the relationship, as a week after the breakup she was sending texts saying I blindsided her and that it was crushing because to her it seemed to come out of nowhere.
  7. Like I said, I'm sure she didn't cheat or get close to him during our relationship. They were coworkers for about 2 years but she never talked about him (though she mentioned other male coworkers). He professed his love for her within the first few weeks of dating so I think that's what sped up their relationship. I broke up with her due to some emotional issues I was undergoing that caused me to check out of the relationship. Out of curiosity, what makes you believe she's moved on and happy?
  8. I don't think it was lust. Not to be superficial but he is not very attractive. If anything it started out as co-dependence or a desire for affection (I wasn't a very affectionate bf). She definitely didn't cheat. I emotionally cheated in the last couple months, which she found out about a few weeks after the breakup. Thanks for your consolation and input.
  9. I'm not sure why I haven't accepted it. I think it's because of the timeline. It really blindsided me because she was so devoted and caring. She definitely didn't cheat. I emotionally cheated, which she found out a few weeks after the breakup. You think she is playing games? It's hard for me to tell because I'm so close to it. You're right that I should move on and block her. I found out she re-blocked me a few weeks ago so I guess that makes it a little easier for me.
  10. After breaking up with my ex-girlfriend of nearly 4 years, she got a boyfriend 4 weeks later. They worked together and, based on her posts, he was in love with her before and she loved him back after a few weeks of dating. Now it’s 10 months after the breakup and she says they’re moving in together and planning engagement. I’m having a very hard time getting over how fast she moved on. At first I thought it was a rebound, but I’m increasingly believing it’s the real deal. I know she loved me very strongly and that I was her first love, but I feel so easily replaced. I want her to be happy, but thinking about her makes me miserable now. I obviously try my best not to think about it, but it’s difficult sometimes. Any thoughts on the situation or insight to help me through this?
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