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Allienne

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  1. I think this is the advice I need, thank you. I wasn't looking for a relationship but when I realized we both were interested in each other, I thought it might work until we agreed it wouldn't. I thought moving on was going to be going back to how we spoke before we had feelings for each other, but maybe it was all romantic for him while it was platonic for me until relatively recently. I won't assume anything, I won't reach out, but I'll see if we interact more while with our mutual friends. Hopefully that's a good compromise.
  2. @indea08 Thanks for the advice. This is how I feel too, I want to invite him to talk to me in case he feels that he can't. I would rather know what is going on than forever wonder how he's doing. I genuinely just want to be his friend and be there for him. However, everyone has told me I should leave him alone. I think I need more time to think about it.
  3. @boltnrun I totally get now that I shouldn't just use ghost as a shortcut for not messaging. It's just how my friends and I talk. No of course I don't keep a scorecard, it's just that he said he would keep in touch and hasn't. When a friend says that, usually they need some support and so I reach out and see what's up. All I'm trying to do is support him and usually I support people by talking to them. Since everyone has advised me to do otherwise, then agreed. I just needed to learn what to do in a new situation. Thanks for the advice!
  4. @Wiseman2I'm not stalking him and I know he doesn't owe me anything. I just use those words as shortcuts, obviously ex-crush isn't a real thing... I appreciate the advice and I agree now that I should just leave him alone. Thanks!
  5. @Wiseman2And if he finally messages me? Do I bring up how the ghosting hurt me, ghost him back, or just treat him normally like a friend?
  6. A couple weeks ago my friend (19M) and I (19F) realized we had feelings for each other. However, we agreed that a relationship wasn't a good idea for lots of different reasons and decided to stay friends but move on, or at least see what happens in the future without pushing it now. I felt like the conversation went really well and that we were on the same page about caring for each other and staying in touch. Fast forward to now and he hasn't messaged me since that conversation... I was the last one to say something. I see that he's online and talking to our mutual friends but he's not i
  7. @twistedfate I would trust that feeling of being uncomfortable. It seems to me that she's given you reason to not trust her, and if you don't, then that's not a great place to start a relationship from. You said that it's hard for you to accept that she's not leaving again -- really think about if she's even given reason for you to accept that. Has she shown her commitment? Has anything changed from when she was dating other people? These are questions you need to answer in therapy. If you don't like the answers, trust those feelings. It's admirable that you are trying to correct your beh
  8. I would never talk to him again. I think you did the right thing. Children cannot give permission to adults to have sexual conversations with them. To me, all of his anger at you comes from his guilt because he knows what he did was wrong. He wants you to think that everything is your fault so that he doesn't have to face the fact that he committed a crime by interacting with a child sexually. This is absolutely not your fault. You are a victim of an adult who made very bad decisions. You didn't misunderstand or overreact. It does not matter that he was hurt. I'm very sorry that you
  9. There are two big things from your post that stick out to me: that you feel uncomfortable and that you and your wife seeking therapy. Therapy can be extremely helpful and can give couples the skills to solve many problems, but only if both people are putting the same amount of energy into it. One thing that therapy cannot fix is you feeling uncomfortable and bothered by your wife's behavior during the separation. No matter what happened in the past, if you're looking to start a relationship again, both of you need to be on the same page. If your wife has really recommitted and is wi
  10. I think that talking to a doctor as well as a therapist would be good for you if you aren't having those conversations already. It is possible to have a relationship while having mental health issues or EDs, but the big thing is that you're not relying on them for the support that doctors and therapists should give instead. You really need to check in with yourself and see if you would genuinely be ready for dating. Recognizing that you might not be able to live up to normal standards is a good start. As for how to tell people without getting pity, start the conversation with all the thin
  11. My online friend and I finally told each other that we have romantic feelings. We've been talking for 6 months today, actually, and I know that we both really care for each other. However, he's not ready for a long distance relationship. We've already had communication issues -- he struggles with replying and planning and I struggle with not taking his silence personally. Although I would be willing to give ldr a shot, I agree with him that it would be really difficult. So, I thought that we would agree to just be friends and both try to move on from our feelings for each other. Thi
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