I want people views and honest opinions.
I was friends with a man for 12 years. He had been in romantic relationships with women and use to call me to talk about his life.
Also our friendship wasn't platonic but it wasn't fully friends with benefits as I didn't cross the line, except kiss and some foreplay.
In last years we were more in contact as he went through a dark patch in life and I felt a strong concern, care and feelings of love developed.
I shared this with him, and he never reciprocated and said he was not ready to be in a relationship again after his heart break and needs a year or so. I totally got it.
We remained in contact, but u felt he was on his soul building and healing journey
But still giving him care and love so he knows I'm still here and we can start something with each slowly at his pace.
Recently I felt something change in him, where he wasn't himself and only called or reached out for phone sex or facetime sex.
I felt it wasn't us or where I thought things would go. I prefer to be platonic friends, least its authentic.
So i refused kindly and said it feels dishonourable and I think we should talk....I sensed something was fishy.
We did, he called and told me that he had gone back to his ex.
I said, then why do you contact me seeking sexual connection? That is so wrong and unfair to his women.
He said yeh I agree it is.
He said "i want to *** you, but i can't be in a relationship with you because i don't find you physically attractive"
I was lost for words, almost went into shock, my friend, the man I loved just said that.....and what could I say in response because I dont even know what that means. I went silent for a few seconds. It was like my head developed a migraine within seconds.
So I said, in a very soft voice "I fell in love with you, so for my best interest we should stop talking and end our connection"
He said "yeh we should"
I said " I'm going to miss you, and I'll think of you often"
He said "I will miss you too and think of you also"
I said "thats normal and part of moving on and letting go"
We said goodbye and with a very heavy heart put the phone down. Deleted his number and all pictures.
It's been a week, and still feel a hole in my heart. That's my issue.
But what I dont understand was his words.
Can people give me their view or analysis on this? Especially the part about not being able to be in a relationship because he doesn't find me attractive but wants to *** me.