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  1. Huh? Why would I think of marriage as just a label? This is just the conclusion to a very long thread which was about exclusivity.
  2. Nope, as explained throughout, we are dating in real life, not distance. We see each other 1-2x a week, as our schedules allow. The whole situation I had was about how I felt I fumbled this topic when he originally brought it up. We’ve already been building things in person and love each other. I still wanted the label. So I am happy about it!
  3. Thank you for this opinion/explanation! I do appreciate it!
  4. HA! Oops!!!!! NOOO. I meant to write to someone from days ago on my own post. I’m on my phone with a couple tabs open. Oof. I’m an idiot. Sorry spartan. I do agree though that you should take the photos down. If he is bringing it up right away it’s clearly been weighing on his mind. I don’t see how it could be a bad thing (for either of you) to remove them.
  5. Do you think you’re just looking to share your experience and don’t actually wish to be swayed in one direction or another? Or are you looking for people to suggest you push on it end things? Congrats on your lovely date by the way!! 🙂
  6. Update/conclusion: We talked about it this evening on the phone. It came up based on something he said off the cuff, so I guess technically I brought up the topic in a jokey roundabout way. He said he planned to have this discussion the next time we saw each other, he’s been wanting to. And long story short, we’re official. By/gf, labels. Whole thing. Thank you everyone!
  7. Sparks always fade and sometimes those high spark “peak” feelings mask a lot of red flags and make us ignore incompatibilities. This might be a nice change of pace for you.
  8. I agree with everyone here. The fact that you began to trust him is the scariest part because what he was doing has the makings to put you in a very unhealthy situation. He seems extremely insecure. Extremely. It doesn’t much matter why he decided to end things because somebody with such a twisted sense of appropriateness will never be understandable.
  9. If he brings it up first, lovely. If I bring it up and he responds enthusiastically, great. If it’s neither of those things, I’ll cut my losses (though it’ll be somewhat of a disappointment) and move on.
  10. I like reading other people’s updates so I feel like it’s good to post my own: 8 dates. Going on 3 months. We talk constantly in between. I love you’s are said, etc. Obviously if you’ve followed along we’ve been talking for a long time before dating in person as well. He just recently asked me to accompany on a small trip to see his group of friends and do some work in July. He knows going away with a guy is something I like to do only when official, etc. I think it’s his way of hinting at this. However, within the next two times I see him I am going to bring it up if he does not f
  11. I would make sure her bf is really out of the picture. It is coincidental timing. Not being a buzzkill, it’s always good to be extra cautious in these situations.
  12. DM is fine to eventually ask her out, but closer to when she gets back. It sounds like you haven’t been flirting though. Maybe try that! That’ll give you a good idea of how it’ll be received.
  13. Why would you move on???? HOW would that even be a thought crossing your mind? She kept plans with you, she had sex with you, you like her and want to date her. So keep contact, keep dating her, pursue her and date her.
  14. You’re not having sex so I don’t feel like it’s manipulative. I’d wait a while on the sex, wait for monogamy if you can. It will help alleviate at least one of your worries perhaps.
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