Debsterism

With a newborn fresh out of he hospital I loaded her up and stopped at the grocery store. Carried he and all the groceries up two flights of stairs. Put everything away. Put her in a front pack and made dinner. Put a load of laundry in while dinner cooked. Put it in the dryer right before we ate. Hubs did he dishes. I dealt with the baby bathing and dressing her. He swept and mopped the kitchen. He vacuumed while I made his lunch for the next day. We sat down and had a glass of wine together to catch up, then took a shower and went to sleep. 

This was right out of the hospital with a 3 day old baby so I don't know WHAT her problem is. Your wife sounds lazy to me. If I were you I would tell her that she has two choices. Either get off her butt and get busy doing a share of the housework (which should take no more than an hour or so daily as the machine washes them, not her hands and she can do other things during that cycle), OR she will become a divorced parent and living in a household with 3 kids most of the time, having to DO IT ALL by herself. Ask her which she would prefer? Cause paying child support and you being an every other weekend father would be what she is looking at. 

You are not married, and none of the debt he created is yours to concern yourself with. Stop paying for a grown ass man to live!!! He is acting like a pimp or something. GIRL, move out and end this madness. He is just using you. He could live in a pup tent under a bridge for all I would care. This guy is a clown and does not care about you in the least, other than what you can do for him. Please read the room and get out of this situation ASAP.

On 12/17/2022 at 7:43 PM, Ms v said:

I am dating a guy only 2 dates and we had sex for the first time last night however while having sex he says “you are mine” . He said it 3 times last night while having sex. We did more sex during the night and again he said it.

what does this mean? Or is it just a fetish?

 It means he is love bombing you... the full court press... trying to convince you that you have more of a commitment with him than you really do. His goal is to make sure the he has full and complete access to the cooch, but that you cut off any and every other guy. Saying it during intimacy is a way to get into your emotions and head more easily so you believe whatever he says to you. During sex most people are more vulnerable to suggestion, like  hypnosis. It's nothing but MIND CONTROL GAME. 

What you should have done is tell him to stop saying that because you are no one's property. 

Even now you should reference that and correct him, reminding him to never say any crap like that to you again. Tell him you've only had 2 dates, you are not a couple, and that he has no stake of ownership in your personage. Then go out with other guys to reinforce it. This little knucklehead player thinks he is slick! Flip his game back on him and date other people so he understands you aren't just talking.

Tell your Dad to tell his mother to get a lawfirm to be the executor of her will, not the aunt. That is a conflict of interest and sure to tie things up in court. Especially since the aunt is already trying to weasel her way into the whole thing.

If you dad chooses not to do anything, that's on him when he is swindled out of his inheritance. He should be more assertive and insist on an uninvolved third party executor. that way everythign will be taken care of properly. The way things are now, it is left to the aunt to distribute things equally which wont work. Alternatively, granny can sign over what she wants your dad to have NOW, and leave the rest to your aunt. That works too. 

Not his business.

Shut up about your past.

It's not his business.

It doesn't impact the budding relationship you have with him

If you want to blab, pinch yourself to make yourself shut up.

Do not EVER tell men stuff that is going to reflect poorly on you that was done before you ever even met him. 

It's not his business.

Find something else to talk to him about. Something funny, something entertaining, something interesting, something creative.

On YouTube - The Debsterism Channel on Female Empowerment, Dating and Relationships. Over 1200 videos on self-esteem, dating, relationships, boundaries, games men play, abusive relationships - everything you would need from a modern WHAT'S GOING ON TODAY IN SOCIETY point of view. 

After 7 years with no mention of marriage? You just a room mate chick. A convenience. Comfortable bill sharer. When you leave take all your stuff with you and find your own place all by yourself. Let him run his friend and family BNB all by himself. He wants to collect all these strays he should be getting rent and food and light bill money from THEM. You should not be on the hook to support HIS frirends and HIS family.

I would leave him and go on about my business. Trust me, as soon as you do the man who REALLY cherishes you will appear and you will wonder why you wasted almost a decade of your life on this nonsense. You should NOT pay rent at a place you don't live. The people he has invited to live there should pay. At most you should pay 20% of the expenses since there are 4 other people living there - split it equally. Then you can get your stuff when they leave. 

On 3/11/2022 at 9:29 PM, Guest Anonymous said:

Why would a guy that you had a fling with ghost you, then try to follow you on fake accounts months later?? 
 

if you ghost someone that’s a indication that your no longer interested, at least to me it is. So why come up with fake accounts and try to follow someone and reconnect with someone you ghosted from the start? I linked up with this man and after are first face to face encounter he  ghosted me! So why can’t he just leave me alone? 

Because he is stupid. Is this a trick question?

You have 100% control here. All you have to do is activate the BLOCK feature on your social media accounts, close your pages to PRIVATE, and not allow new followers or subscribers that you do not know. SImple. 

He is just like me. I am not giving anybody more than 30-40 at the most minutes of my time on the first meeting IF THAT LONG. It's a face to face meet and greet, not a big deal. If done correctly, a woman can roll through 3-4 guys in a couple of hours without ever leaving the coffee shop. The goal is to ask them questions, see if they look like their pictures (face, age, height and weight wise), what kind of weirdness they project, if they can hold a decent conversation, if they are respectful or a pervert, etc.

There is no reason for one of these online first meeting things to last any more than 30 minutes. Ever. If you dig the guy, then on date #2 you set it for longer. If not, you haven't wasted the one valuable resource you have in life that can never be replenished... YOUR PRECIOUS TIME! 

I don't understand why you are even trippin about this. It's a rule YOU should have in place.

8 hours ago, mtarcia said:

I'm in my fifties, no children, single. I met a woman over 40 on a dating site. She has two young kids.

When online dating I was looking for someone without children. However, this woman took a liking to me and I liked the attention she gave me.

I have not promised her anything, since she's not the profile of person I'm looking for, but on the other hand I like the attention she gives me.

After 5 months talking on the phone and occasionally meeting in person she's now asking me whether I see "us together" in the future.

I don't think so, but I'm afraid of losing this special connection we have and feel bad for her, since I guess she's developed a crush on me.

I feel confused and saddened by this situation. What should I do?

You should, as the saying goes "grow a pair!" Be honest and adult. Tell her that you are not interested in being with her long term because you are too old to step into the role of step-father to young children. Tell her that you like her as a person, but not as a partner. Then move on. Stop using her for attention when you are not prepared to give HER what she wants in return. 

This is something you need to learn now. There are certain things you tell your girlfriends or your mother, but you do not take and put at a man's feet. Your man is not your confidante bestie.

You put them in a situation where you dump your emotional load on him. As one who is programmed to solve problems and protect you, he goes into problem resolver fix it mode. But alas, wait! This is drama with people he (1) has no relationship to because you two are not married; and (2) since you are both minor children, he has no real ability to fix anyway. You dumping on him accomplishes nothing.

So listening to you whine about problems he can do nothing about frustrates him and makes him upset then angry. This is not something you go to a man about, this is something you talk about with the people who are causing you the problem. Like an adult. Like someone who wants the problem resolved. You have the ability to talk ABOUT the problem, that means you have the ability to RESOLVE the problem all on your own. Then you can tell him how you evoked your Super Powers and fixed it without involving him.

• Block her on social media and email.
• Tell her family and friends of her threats contacting them on social media or by phone if you have their contact information
• Immediately stop taking her calls and block her number. You being kind and talking to her every time is giving her the attention she is after. She is manipulating and guilt tripping you into giving her the attention, just cut her off.
• She said she tried to commit suicide before, but you have no proof of that. Narcissists lie to get what they want out of others using any emotional tool they think will work on you. 
• Accept that there is nothing you can do with this batshyt crazy chick. She needs professional help.
• If she should find a way to contact you again, call police and request a MENTAL HEALTH CHECK. let them know what she said. Provide her address and name and history of mental illness. They will send qualified officers to handle a mental health crisis. She may be taken to a mental health hospital and held for 72 hour observation for her own protection. That will let her know you are nott impacted by her manipulative games, and it will let her know that you will take a strong position against her nonsense. Do that every time she tries to contact you. 

Reach out to Adult Protective Services in your parent's area and file a case of Elder Financial Abuse on your brother. Checking bank records it will be easy to see that the money went to him. Your parents are elderly and vulnerable, and your brother is a tool who needs to be charged and arrested and made to return that money. The fact that they are showing cognitive decline will work in your favor to have them conserved for their own safety before your brother bankrupts them. Please act TODAY. 

Kick him out and make him pay child support for two kids. Once he gets tapped for $700 a month he will understand better. Stop having kids with men you aren't married to as well. This makes no sense. That is YOUR house and he would be a fool to give you anything on it. But he does need to pay half of all utilities, half of the food, half of what the child needs, half the water and garbage, and pay rent. There is nowhere on this planet he would be living for free. If he doesn't like that, tell him to move out and go pay rent elsewhere and child support on top of it. 

Get thy butt on the nearest thing smoking and get on with your life. Ten years of your youth wasted with his dusty butt? Girl you shoulda BEEN gone. He has wasted your entire life "dating" him. Get rid of him. He is dragging you down.