lovemy2k9s

If you read it correctly, I said I disconnected from her already on the only social media site I have, and on the two dating sites I use (well now only one because I deleted my account on the one she sent me the heart on), I blocked her. And I'm bothering with it because she sent me a heart on the dating site.

Thank you for sharing this story. I think it's very relevant and a little bit parallel.

I did it. I clicked the block button. And on both dating sites. It was hard...sent me back to Day 1, but only for a while. But now I can honestly move on and be myself again.

I agree. But I still can't understand why someone who didn't love me any more, didn't want a relationship any more, fed me every single excuse under the sun for why it won't work (and even more excuses to other people) would now be jerking me around like this. Is this what they call "mind games"? Why would an ex do that if she were the dumper?

Yes, I would consider it but my first question to her would be, what has changed? And I would need a GOOD answer to that. And we would have to start all over, new relationship, new everything, start from the beginning like the first date.

I did unfollow her and haven't looked at her page at all. But I guess NC means not letting her in on MY life either. Or does NC still apply in that way?

Well, I have an update to this thread. Backstory: Ex dumped me 1st week in June. I went NC immediately. Since my original post in mid-June, my ex hit my friend up to find out how I was and if I was OK, since she wasn't hearing from me. My friend said she guessed I was but gave no details. A few weeks later mid July she messaged me AGAIN to ask if she could "like" my pics on fb! I ignored. (this is important later) ➡️ MOST CONFUSING PART: By the end of July I felt like I might try dating again. So I joined a dating site. Several people contacted me through there and then....DAMMIT. My ex is now apparently on the app and she "swiped right" (tapped the ❤️) and I got the "X likes you!" notification. But seriously, why???? ***. This from a woman who told me when she ended it that she just needed to be alone. That she didn't want to be with anybody right now. Is this her trying to be indirect and say she wants to try again? When I said earlier she wasn't a great communicator, this is what I meant - she does a lot of skirting or just not saying what she's thinking and I had to figure it out. This particular app you can see who liked you without you both swiping right. I didn't swipe right. I just deleted it. I'm not into mind games. Within a couple days I posted on my fb something really great that happened to me at work. She was the 2nd person to react (she put a ❤️ on that also)......😒 Flame away, I should've unfriended her long by now. Or at least made it so she couldn't see my posts. I haven't somehow been able to bring myself to delete her, though I did unfollow. (Yeah my fault). Dummy me, I still haven't done it. But I need to. I guess I shouldn't worry how it will affect her. She's not worried about me.

Her real reasons were only the list she gave. She said "incompatible" but incompatible is BS, especially in our case. I don't know if I'm hoping to reconcile--at this point I still need to get over it. I don't think I can ever reconcile though.

Ego stroke! That's exactly what my friend said, that she's looking for that next one to stroke her ego.

My ex dumped me two weeks ago after a 1-year relationship. Not long before, she told me I was "her person". We had a blissful relationship up until about a month or so before she left. I started noticing her getting distant. I tried so hard to fix it. She's not one to communicate so finally I had to ask her. She said all the typical BS breakup cliches--I'm in a bad space, I'm in a funk, I lost my feelings for you, I don't know if I can get them back, or ever, I don't love you, I don't want to be with you that way, all I can give you is friendship--etc. Pretty much the whole list. I told her I didn't want to be just her friend, and then there is nothing left to say except sorry it didn't work out and I wish you well. I wasn't about to sit around and let her assuage her guilt and be her doormat and then suddenly disappear when she finds someone new. It was a weekday morning and I had to take the day off because I couldn't hold it together. The very next morning, she texted me to ask me if it would bother me if she still contacted me. I said I'd rather you not, I wish you well, take care. I stopped all communication and went radio silent on social media. Since that, 5 days later she sent a text that said I hope you're doing ok, please let me know if and when you want to talk. That was it. I never answered her back. I already told her not to contact me so I felt this very disrespectful. I don't really want to talk to her. In reflection, I realized a LOT about her that should have been a red flag but, of course, I didn't see it as such at the time. I stopped following her on social media so I don't know what she's up to (doing this for myself) but my BFF told me she made some post yesterday that made her look like a self-absorbed douchecanoe and my best friend felt bad for her. I asked my best friend not to tell me about her any more. I guess my actual question is, what was the real purpose of her text messages? Why would she want to stay in contact and then think I wanted to talk when I already told her I didn't? Why reach out when I couldn't have made it any more clear? My friends said it's her loss 100% and I'm the one that got away, where she is concerned. And that she's too self-absorbed and jumps from relationship to relationship looking for whatever. That made me feel at least somewhat better. If anyone has any insight or advice, I welcome it. 🙂