So i have this almost 7 years relationship, on and of. I can definetly say he was in love with me since the first time he saw me. He spend almost 2 years chasing me, but at that time i wanted nothing to do with him, maybe because he was always so present i did not acknowledge him. Finally when i was 15 i decided to give him a chance and we became boyfriend/girlfriend. He was always so sweet and attentive and i was rather cold so broke up with him because i wasnt really in love and it was summer i went away, school year started again and when i saw him moving on i decided to chase him and we started dating again for 3 1/2 yrs. I moved away for college and he stayed, gossip started crossing my way he was cheating on me, i came back for him ( dont know if he knows thats the reason why i returned) but we started fighting a lot because of the gossio and also i knew something was off so we broke up. Then he started going through the stage boys go through kissing every girl they find attractive and being literraly a ***boy i was so devasted and wanted him back so badly i always stayed in touch and saw him almost everyother week, he went to my house and we spend the night as if we still were together. That went on for like a yr until i decided i had enough and met another guy which i dated for like 8 months, around the time i was starting to date the guy he obviously came back in an obsesive way that he wanted to be with me so badly. He kept pushing for like 4 months into my new relationship, after that he didnt bother no more and i went on for like 4 months without hearing about him. Then pandemic arrived and the new guy and me broke up, and my old boyfriend called me exacly the same day me and the other guy broke up just to see how i was doing,that was when i told him and of course he kept in touch. By that time i was heartbroken by the other guy and didnt want nothing to do with my old boyfriend, but he was still there for me even though i was ***y and undermining him. On december he was pushy again saying to me to let him go if i didnt want anything but since i the new boyfriend never cameback and i had no one i wanted to keep seeing him “till i find someone new”, for the past 3 months i treated him like he was uninmportant and i was the bigger better one. talked to him when i wanted, saw him when i wanting and always fighting with, because i could. Almost a month ago he decided to end things for good, told me he was tired of me mistreating him and that he didnt deserve it which is true, told me to never talk nor call again to give him space. I realized how wrong i was for treating him that way and apologized and told him i was ready to be with him and change my attitude but he wasnt interested anymore. 2 weeks ago i learned he has a new gf. she is 25 and he is 23, i know thats nothing but anyhow, she is wise must treat him so diffrent as i did, becuase i always loved when he chased me. talked to him after hearing about the new girl, he must have meet her when i was “trying to fix things with him” and treated himm with such emotinoal abuse, and i asked him if he was happy and he answerd he is peaceful now, told him how hurt and sorry i am but if he is happy then i will try to be happy for him too. Now i am so heartbroken because i let my soulmate go, i know we are young still i am 21, but we have known each other since we were kids, he is my bestfriend. And because of me having this fantasy about older men because my last guy was 27, i had this conception of him as if he was a kid, but he actually has been the most attentive and loving guy to me. I know i cant do anything right now, but i know he thinks so poorly of me as if i am the worst thing that has happened to him. But i am not that way and i just want to show him how much i can love him, been thinking constantly of all the things i want to say to him everthing i see he would have like i always think how he would have reacted and i just want another chance to be better with him so badly.