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skyty

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Everything posted by skyty

  1. I’m very sorry for your loss! Maybe that also plays a part in all this... I know he loves my mom and a few days after his mom passed, he also said „Now our children only have one grandma on earth“. But maybe it’s also why he distances himself from me so drastically and spends all his time with his dad and sister. They‘re in this together, they experience the exact same loss and grief... Like I said I also try to understand him. But yeah it hurts that he just pushes me away and lost all his feelings....
  2. You could be right... he worked/works in an industry that was hit badly by the pandemic. For the last 12 years he was self employed and for the most part his business was doing very well. But then Covid happened and he lost all his contracts. Im Dezember, before she got diagnosed, he started a course for an higher education degree related to his field of work. His mom was so happy! But with everything that happened he didn’t think he could finish it and dropped out. The next course starts in June or July, so he could finish what he started. I think it is a realistic possibility that
  3. Well yes, I saw the writing on the wall ever since it happened. Not one second before that. His behavioural change is 100% related to this awful tragedy. We had a solid relationship, there was nothing crumbling or me suffocating him with my love. We were in a healthy relationship.
  4. We lost my boyfriends mom 3 months ago. Her sudden passing changed everything in our lives and my boyfriend is in a very very bad place right now. I try to help him, but unfortunately he is not willing to accept or seek my comfort. Before it happened we had a very close, loving and affectionate relationship. I don’t expect him to be his old self anytime soon. I understand his grief and I want to give him as much time as he needs. I try my best not to take it personally, but he is constantly lashing out at me. He even accuses me of things like „You didn’t like it that I called my mom every
  5. Thank you so much I really appreciate your thoughtful comment. And I’m truly sorry for the losses you had to experience in your life. I thought about all the responses I received so far and just realised where my anxiety and fears seem to come from. I’m not doubting that my boyfriend loves me or that his wishes to start a family changed. For now of course they did, but I know it’s still the life he wants. But I’m afraid, as stupid as this may sound, we’re running out of time. A few days after his mom passed, he gave me a hug and said „Now we really have to make children soon, so they can
  6. Maybe try reading my other responses. In our country the term MIL doesn’t have to mean in a legal sense. And you seem to know my boyfriend better than I do telling me he never wanted to marry me. We even had a date set before the pandemic hit. Which my MIL knew about and was thrilled with! It’s bad luck where he’s from to get engaged if you don’t plan to get married within 12 months. So we waited. Waited too long, because now she can’t be there with us.
  7. Excuse me, do you know me and my life to make assumptions like that? Netflix and chill? What is wrong with you? Leave him and his family in peace? I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a committed relationship or not, but his family is my family. She was, is and always will be my MIL. WE as in my boyfriend, my FIL and SIL spend weeks together in his family home, praying together, supporting each other and crying together while she was in the hospital. I don’t want to take credit for anything, I’m so mad at myself for not getting her to our major hospital any sooner but believe me, I tried! My bo
  8. Thank you for your reply. I agree so much about grief counselling. He does need that. And first he seemed to agree with me. Now he gets angry when I bring it up... tells me I shouldn’t dictate his life or his grief. I just started seeing a therapist myself and he is supportive of that, but it’s not on his mind to go himself. At least right now.
  9. Thank you so much for your reply. I’m really sorry about your father’s passing. I understand I need to give him time, and I know that 4 weeks is nothing. I also still don’t realise it most of the time. I‘m doing the dishes and then boom the thought that she is truly gone hits me. I know that my grief is nothing compared to his grief or his dads or sisters. But I also haven’t stopped crying. And maybe I’m also longing for some kind of support / closeness from him.
  10. Thank you for your kind words. We both wanted to get married, maybe him even more than me! We actually had a date in mind. And then the pandemic hit... I try to give him space but I can’t help how much it hurts me that he is distancing himself from me like this. I want to be there for him so bad, and it tears me apart that he is not wanting or turning to me for any form of support. I call her my MIL because in our country the term means more „like a second mother“ and that’s the way I feel about her.
  11. My MIL passed away 4 weeks ago from cancer. Not even 2 months after she got diagnosed in early December. She was only 59. We tried everything we could, got her transferred to a better hospital, talked to numerous doctors, researched everything about her illness we could. We had hope. When she passed away, it felt unreal. It still does. It feels like an awful nightmare and I would give everything to wake up from it. My boyfriend is deeply grieving. I try to be there for him, but he just pushes me away. We lived together for 2 years. Ever since it happened he hasn’t spend a single night wi
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