Forum_poster_39

Yes, I’m aware she’s legally entitled to spend how she wants and that asking me first is an optional courtesy. No I do not ask her permission before making purchases. Given that I have (happily) supported her for the past 8 years I think the expectation that she run *large* purchases by me reasonable. Anyway if she had just went ahead and bought them I would still be posting this, the title would just be changed to Help, My Wife Spent $4k On 2 Coins

I make a very good income as a software engineer while my wife takes care of our 1 year old daughter. We have a shared bank account and my wife can spend as she pleases but she will ask me if she wants to spend a lot of money on something. The other night she asked permission buy 2 commemorative coins (I don’t know much about them) for $2,000 each. I don’t consider myself cheap and am happy to buy expensive things but I can’t abide something so frivolous. Supposedly they increase in value over time but of course I told her absolutely not. She said ok but it’s been obvious since then that this upset her. Yesterday she told me she is looking for a job she can do at night after she puts our daughter to sleep so she can pay for these coins herself. I love my wife and she’s free to do what she wants but this whole thing is just ridiculous to me and is making me very uncomfortable at home, and on her end she is treating me rather coldly. In a way I respect the fact that she is trying to earn these coins for herself and respecting my decision and I realize people often have idiosyncratic passions and obsessions. I’m also somewhat optimistic this episode will pass given the logistical constraints of her getting a job given our daughter and COVID. Nevertheless I am stressed and cannot stop thinking about this. Has anyone had a similar experience with a loved one?