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Apprentice (3/14)

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  1. Yes, this is just in my head๐Ÿ˜ He said nothing. I can not believe it..๐Ÿ˜‘ We had a connection, I could see it in his body language, eyes and words. We talked a looot in person and over text, he seemed soo interested, asked so many questions about me and my life, got in deeper conversations with me, told me about his life, family, past, blah. Why all this. Just to find easier options near him, wow. Life sucks๐Ÿ˜‚
  2. Hey, I'm here for an update. I'm a bit sad or disappointed. We agreed to not meet because of the hard lockdown and the cold weather (he lives 50 min away from my city). That's totally fine. Last weekend it got a lot warmer and sunny - but he didn't contact me at all..since 5 days. Before that, he told me he has a new project at work and will be busy. But come on..a man who has interest WILL make time. Especially on the weekend. He will at least text, it's no effort. Knowing that, I just feel sad. All my insecurities came up. He lost his interest in me because I'm too shy and not pretty enough and he met someone else who isn't shy and is beautiful. Of course this must be the reason ๐Ÿ˜‰ Being busy is just an excuse to exit..
  3. Haha Lunar, I can understand that I'm always curious too. I will keep you updated here! Right now it's just texting between the two of us, because it's too cold outside and we have no idea what to do. Everything here is closed and I mean EVERYTHING, haha. So no movies, no nothing. By the way, even if I can not answer to every message here, I read everything and I'm thankful for that ๐Ÿ™‚ Happy I found this page.
  4. I just wanted to update, that I will NOT go to his place, I will of course stick to my boundaries, haha. His understanding and humourous texts after my overkill speech will not change this๐Ÿ˜ But his reaction made me happy. I really thought he won't contact me again and I nearly thought he was a jerk who just wanted sex. But seems like he is not. Of course I don't know that, but I'm looking forward getting to know him.
  5. Oh! He contacted me again, I didn't expect this, lol. And to my surprise - extremely positive. Yes, it was overkill but he wrote a humourous, funny, polite and understanding text to me. And something like "Wait and I'll show you that I'm not some psycho-murderer :)" I'm so relieved but of course I will not forget what I learned from you here! Thank you all๐Ÿ˜ƒ Level up.
  6. Thank you for your story, Batya! That's really tough, I'm glad you could leave his house. It's crazy that he drove you home. You will always remember this moment and I'm sure you always have your guard up. This is a horrible example and sad story for me. That's why I'll always wait with that until I feel it's safe and the right time and such feelings caused my "overkill speech". I know better now, I'll build up my confidence and I'll sharpen my instincts.
  7. You are right, it's just difficult to learn to trust your intuition, because sometimes people are really good actors,haha. But yeah true, I need to work on myself. I feel I leveled up now ๐Ÿ™‚ I learned something new about me. Better late than never,lol. So thank you all. I just wish I could tell him that. But it's too late..
  8. Haha, Wiseman has a point ๐Ÿ™‚ It's true and I understand that I came off as too difficult and strange. Even if I was clearly just joking about it and didn't say he could be a murderer seriously. It showed I'm too emotional, shy and not ready. I see that now so thanks for another opinion.
  9. Maybe he thinks it was his fault and needs time to handle his emotions. Men in general don't like to talk about emotions and they don't want to get emotional, so he just hides in his cave. You should wait a few days and don't text him again..he will come to you if this process is over. At least I think that. If he texts you, you should meet to talk about it. Until then, give him a little time.
  10. Thank you all for your messages (and warnings). Yes, there is a possibility he is a bad guy, absolutely. I only met him twice so I know nothing about him. My gut tells me he is decent, but has some other options, so he can just drop the "strange shy girl".. Well, you read my character perfectly and you only know me through a few texts. I'm the nice, soft, endearing woman who looks like Bambi. I know that I'm a perfect target, that's why I built up that safety fence,haha. I didn't know I did it the wrong way. I thought it would show confidence. I thought it would scare away bad men and men who are really interested in me will stay.. I overlooked that I need to sharpen my instincts and trust myself. It's not good to tell people "I'm afraid to get hurt", it shows the opposite of what I wanted to show and I'm so angry that I couldn't see that before! Still..he asked me about my bad experience. I told him and yes, it got me too emotional, I get that. It just hurts that he ghosts me after that.
  11. Thank you so much, I will keep you up to date here ๐Ÿ™‚ Otherwise I will go crazy the next days. I feel so childish and stupid..I still believe there are more decent and good people than bad ones.
  12. You are absolutely right. But something inside me hopes, that he is that decent guy who just needs a break after my "speech"..If he never contacts me again he wasn't interested at all. At least I try to believe that...We talked so much about deep things, it's so sad for me to see he ignores me after being a little (too) deep about myself.
  13. Can we put it like that - if he just wanted sex, I scared him away. But if he was at least a bit interest in ME, he will contact me again after I give him a rest? Haha. I feel so stupid and sad.
  14. Thank you all for your answers. It helps me but it makes me sad too. I understand..I thought he must be a jerk too. But reading your answers show me that it was my fault too and I am so shocked. I thought I was an adult woman with boundaries but..I'm just a girl who showed she is afraid. I just wanted to add that he asked me if I had a bad experience, that's why I told him all that. It was not one "speech" shooting at him, he asked me, so I told him. I thought "good guys" who really have a true interest in me will not be scared away. I'm so stupid for showing my vunerable side.
  15. Hi all, I'm confused I'll tell you my story: I (29) met a nice guy (33), polite, gentle, funny intelligent. We texted a lot and went out two times. We stayed outside because of Corona. He initiated everything, he pursued me and showed real interest (it was not toxic lovebombing). The following conversation was texting only: He asked me on a third date but because of the lockdown situation here, he invited me over to his place. He said it's just because of the lockdown, he would normally never ask this so early. I said it sounds so good, but I can not come to his place this early. I joked about there is still a tiny chance he could be a murderer. (It was just a joke..) I told him I am shy and I don't trust people fast, because the nicest guy can be a bad one and I made a bad experience in the past. He said he understands, but it gives him a bad feeling that I seem to be afraid or think he is not a good guy. He just wants to get to know me. I said sorry, I didn't want to sound harsh, it's just that I want to keep bad people outside my life, so I have some rules. I will not let people inside easily, especially because my life is a bit chaotic in Corona times. I said I am really interested in him and want to get to know him better. He said of course he understands and accepts my boundaries and he is happy to get to know me. I told him thank you and I like that he understands me. I asked about his day and plans for the week to overcome this "heavy" conversation. And then...nothing. No text, silence, he dropped of the earth for 3 days and still nothing. What's going on? Is this my fault for being so straight forward and honest about my fears? Was I too open and harsh, did I scare him away? I can not believe he ignores me after that ๐Ÿ˜ž We are adults, this shouldn't scare away a man, or does it?
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