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Everything posted by Thunderfoot2015

  1. @Jibraltaso basically be there for each person and be that friend for them, but don't try to intervene with anything. If they have an issue with one another just let them talk that out?
  2. Hi, I could use some advice on a girl that I like. Currently (24M) & she is (27F). We met at a summer job 6 years ago and we became best friends, I had just graduated high school at the time and she had just finished her second year of college and we were going to two different colleges across the state and I had gone on some dates with her that summer and we kept in touch. The next summer we worked at the same job and got even closer and became better friends but still did not attempt to date. I liked her, but because I was younger and wanted to enjoy college and didn't think long distance would work and she wanted to remain friends as well. I got a girlfriend while in college and started to reach out to her a lot less often but would still pray for our friendship and reach out randomly as a friendly catch up. When my friends would hang out with her she seemed jealous of my girlfriend. Whenever my girlfriend and I broke up it was my senior year of college and the girl I had met at the summer job began to reach out more and we rekindled our friendship. I still had a crush on her but I felt of her more of a friend at this point. But we began talking about what our dream date would be, future life that we want would be etc. and our other friend listened to our responses to one another and told me that I need to try dating her. I currently lived 2:30 hours away from her due to staying in the city I graduated in, but I began to reach out and go on dates on weekends when I would go visit her. All of her friends and even her sister have told me she talks about me and even at her sister's wedding her sister and her husband asked me when am I going to date her. I moved back to our hometown where we both worked the summer job and I continued pursuing her and I took her out for Valentines day in 2020 and we had talked about us. She said that right now she wants to focus on herself and not pursue a relationship with me if she can't give 100%. Which I respected and didn't want to ruin any friendship nor try to force a relationship. But what hit me hard was in that conversation she brought up that she had told one of her friends back when we worked together at the summer job years ago that she would date me one day. So hearing that from her made me more confused as I thought this was that "one day" she mentioned. But we moved on and continued growing our friendship as she is within a close knit mutual friend group. As 2020 continued her sister continued to egg me on about dating her and one our close mutual friends asked her one day if she liked me and she said yes and that she could see a future with me. Recently, her and I began getting closer to one another and started flirting more and went on a date and it was great. We went on another date and she brought up us again and basically said the same thing as before that right now she feels like she can't commit herself to a relationship. She has never once said anything to me, her sister, or her friends that she doesn't want to date me and when we both hang out there isn't any tension ever. We are even going with her sister and sister's husband on a ski trip at the end of this month. I think a big thing for her is the age gap, me being 24 and her 27 which to me doesn't matter but maybe for a girl does. Also, the fact we are such good friends and are in a close knit friend group, maybe she doesn't want to ruin a friendship. As far as what I currently know from what she has told her friends she has feelings for me and can see a future with me, just not right now.. So i'm wondering what should I do? Keep trying to flirt/take her on dates? Just be friends and let her make a move? My heart is pretty set on her and I've tried talking to other girls and honestly I only think of her so I don't want to date someone else out of spite, because that isn't fair to a new girl and also to myself.
  3. Hello all, I am writing this because I am currently stuck in the middle of a large friendship that is going through issues with two separate groups. This might sound confusing but to give some context, in this situation there are 12 friends including myself. To keep privacy I will use fake names. There are 6 guys (Bob, John, Kyle, Jacob, Will, & Brad) and 6 girls(Ericka, Peyton, Jasmine, Hannah, Olivia, Amber) 3 of the guys are currently dating 3 of the girls. (Bob & Ericka, John & Peyton, Kyle & Jasmine) Within the remaining 6, Jacob & Hannah got a divorce, Will and Olivia used to date a long time ago but now are really good friends and Brad (which is me) is currently trying to date Amber. The tensions stem down to when Jacob started to date Hannah. She joined our friend group and the two of them got married. She began to become great friends with everyone within the group and 5 of the guys and 2 of the girls were in the wedding. She became very close to everyone and things were great. Things got bad however, when the two of them started to have problems. She began to rely on 2 of the girls (Olivia & Amber) and also myself to reach out for advice and just overall have someone to talk to. Jacob also reached out to me for help and advice, so I was stuck in the middle here but they ended up getting a divorce. This started a tear in our group as the only people who would reach out to Hannah was Olivia, Amber and some of the guys including myself. Everyone else in the group would never really reach out to Hannah. Jacob and Hannah have buried the hatchet and they both told each other they don't want our friends to pick sides and want all of us to still be friends. But the problem currently is this: there is this tension between the girls. Hannah, Olivia & Amber have gotten very close and they still really like the other 3 girls, Ericka, Peyton & Jasmine, but they feel like they are not welcome whenever they all hang out. Ericka, Peyton & Jasmine do not start conversations with Hannah Olivia & Amber and they have told me that they feel like they don't invite them to do anything. While Hannah, Olivia & Amber have told me that they feel like Ericka, Peyton & Jasmine do not like them. I feel like there is a big misconception between the two groups. They both have the same mindset and I believe it can be resolved. The most recent scenario which has caused me to type all of this was this past weekend. It was Jasmine's birthday and she texted me and Will asking us if we wanted to go and included everyone else besides Hannah, Olivia & Amber. Those three found out that Jasmine had a get together and are upset and feel like it is the cherry on top to their thinking that none of the girls or even the guys like them. Out of everyone, I am closest to Olivia & Amber. I go to them about anything and everything and they consider me their best friend as well. They've contacted me about whether the other girls like them or not and they feel like they are being pushed out of this friend group. The scenario is weird because I feel like in a divorce or even a breakup you lose friends and people move on. Olivia & Amber have become so close to Hannah through being with her during the divorce that they don't want to leave her but at the same time really don't want to lose the rest of us. I could use some advice on what to do because I don't want to lose their friendships and I really believe it is a misconception that the girls don't like each other
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