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Rhuu

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  1. Just so everyone knows. I have talked to doctor today about me having a panic attack everyday. I do understand that my mental illness causes pain in a relationship. It just would of been nice if he could of been honest with me. And helped me grow. Instead of pressuring me. In reality I would of rather stayed his friend than get in a romantic relationship with him. But I understand this was all on me. I was the one who confessed. I can't really blame anyone but myself in most of this. Thank you all for the advice. I hope I learn and grow from this experience.
  2. I'm in a long distance relationship. Which sucks honestly. But before we started dating he was best friend. We would always play games together and talk for many hours. Then he went off to Navy and we lost contact for over a year. Few months ago he came back in contact with me. And in a few short he forced me to confess that I had a crush on him. To be honest I was not completely ready to do that because I didn't want to lose the amazing friendship I had with him. And because everytime I get close to someone I often have alot of panic attacks. It always drives so many people away. And this was his very first relationship. So anyway to the real problem. Everytime I have some sort of panic attack it drives him away. He always ends up shutting down then going away for a day or so. But this last fight was really bad. He says everytime he opens up I just make him feel worse. Which can only mean from my emotional attacks from saying he doesn't belong in the relationship, or he doesn't love me, or even care. It always sound like I'm giving up. Now he won't reply to any my text messages. Since I'm too afraid to call him. Because if I do call him he will just be silent the whole time. Fyi we have met last month. And he suppose to see in a few days which he says he doesn't even know if he is coming.
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