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Everything posted by Els31

  1. You’re absolutely right. My mental health for my kids well being should go before ANYONE and ANYTHING else. I’ve cared for this man for quite a while which is why it’s hard, but I need to think about my kids more than anything.
  2. I currently reside with my parents and one older sister. HONESTLY they don’t really help, more than anything my mom is sharp tongued and constantly adds fuel to the fire. On top of that they’re HIGHLY religious, which I’m not, and I’m put in a position where if I do something simple that they don’t agree with, I feel like I’m being judged, and I’m practically bound by how they want me to act. I did start seeking a therapists help recently and it’s done some help, but when I get back and start talking to my bf again, I start feeling this heaviness all over again.
  3. I don’t think it’s healthy for either of us. I do believe his feelings are absolutely important, as much as mine are. But it gets a bit overwhelming and I don’t know if I can handle more of it. It’s hard juggling with him and my two potentially autistic boys. I try my hardest to be what he wants and needs but to him sometimes I guess it just isn’t enough. I don’t see it working, and I think we should go our separate ways for both of our mental healths. I don’t want to keep hurting him, but I don’t want to feel emotionally drained every day anymore, especially when I need to be strong for my boys. I want to bring it up and possibly discuss us going our separate ways but I’m scared to hurt him even more and scared to what his reaction might be.
  4. When we first started to talk, I thought he was such an easy to talk to guy and everything just felt natural. But the longer we were together the more I started to feel how intense his anxiety and bi polar disorder is. It’s hard because I feel so bad hurting him when I do know that he really loves me, but I’ve come to realize that I can’t prioritize his feelings over mine and let myself fall into ruin. I shouldn’t have said talking because we’re constantly together, but we’re just not living together. When he starts with his over thinking and anxiety, he tends to point at my wrongdoings and even if I’m honest an open, if it’s not what he wants he just likes to make me feel like crap. I have started to seek a therapist, but the thing is, he constantly likes to point out that “You need help. You need to go to a professional. You need to get over this.” But he thinks he’s perfectly fine and can “get over it” by himself.
  5. I’m a 22 F mother of twin boys (3y), and I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression for a while long before they came along. I’ve been able to take control of it and be the mother my kids need. They’re different as well, they’re suspected to be in the autism spectrum, so they need to be tended to a lot more than normal children. I started talking to someone (31 M) about a year and a half ago. But I’ve started to notice that he’s dealing with anxiety and bi polar. When he gets ina bad mood, it brings me down as well and my mental health is starting to gradually get worse again. He’s an amazing guy, but his over sensitivity and anxiety starts making me feel so much more depressed and anxious, and we’re constantly hurting each other. I’ve tried to talk with him about it, and tried to get over myself because as much as my feelings are valid, so are his. But I feel like the more I try putting up with it, the worse my mental health is getting. And he’s a person who needs CONSTANT comfort and validation, and if he doesn’t get it when he wants it, EVEN if I’m dealing with my children, he has a way with making me feel like I’m the bad person and constantly downgrading my feelings for him when it doesn’t happen. As a mother, I don’t want this depression completely taking over me. I’ve started thinking that it’s best that we break up and go our separate ways because both of our mental health is extremely important, and it’s not good to stay in a relationship that’s going to deteriorate either of our mental healths. I just want to know. Am I a bad person for feeling this way? And not trying to fight for this relationship? It’s really taking a toll on me and my depression has taken a drastic turn, and his anxiety is just getting worse. Should I hold on longer? I don’t know what to do.
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