Laurafrances

Thanks for your prospective Anonymous82. I do try to be a fair person. Which is another reason I came here. To have views from people who are looking from the outside who do not know me. I guess I can be more clear. He lived with me a short period of time until he found his house. A lot of mornings when he woke he would sneeze several times and that was it as far as allergies. which was not bad and not every morning. The boyfriends main concern is the cost of the cats scratching things, like furniture and carpet. Which I understand. he did give me an ultimatum of you can come live me but not the cats. And pretty much if we don't move in together then what is the point of dating anymore? I tired coming up with compromises. The house he brought is 3000 sqft. I asked to put them in the utility room. I suggested putting them outside. I asked my parents and a friend if they would take them. So I could visit them and they would not feel abandoned. But both said. "We need to figure things out". I do not love the cats more than him. I am afraid I will regret that our relationship ended over an animal. But, I do love myself. I do not know if I would could live with myself if I just dropped them off with someone I do not know or something like that. And when he comes down to it, he wasn't even willing to try. From the beginning of the issue, he decided that I wasn't worth trying. So, why would I chose my cats I've had 6 years for a man who would not even try to let the cats live there?

So, update on the situation. I tried to come up with compromises for the cats. Like putting them in the utility room or making them completely outside cats. He did not want to even try that. So given his ultimatum, I had to end it. I feel silly being a 31 year old adult, breaking up over animals, especially since he's such a great guy other wise. But, he wouldn't even try it. It's been a rough day. 😔

Actually, it is an ultimatum. Either I find a home for my cats or I do not move it. So, then what's the point of dating and then we will break up.

Each of you have made a good point. We are both in our 30s and have been together for a little over a year. He lived with me for a short period of time before he bought a place. And, the cats scratched his couch then and that is when we realized he's allergic to the cats due to sneezing so much every morning. He was on board with them being inside/outside cats until then. He is an animal person. But, before he asked me to move in with him, he knew I have 2 cats and a dog. I can stay at my house as long as I need to. I just know there can be much bigger problems in relationship and we are great together. But, resentment can most definitely ruin a relationship.

What should I do? I am moving in with my boyfriend and he wants me to find a new home for my cats that I have had 6 years. My parents may take them. I am moving in my dog already that is needy. He is concerned they will tear up his furniture and doors. He is sort if allergic. He says he knows it's a selfish request and says to ask around for advice because he knows it's bothering me. Otherwise an amazing boyfriend! But, we cannot seem to come to a compromise on this topic.