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  1. @LootieTootie Thank you so much. I wont. I have her blocked on everything. from Pinterest, #, emails, all her social media. I will never speak to her ever again. Idc if she showed up at my front door. I'll never say another word to her. @Wiseman2I have moved on from hurt finding out my son wasn't mine blood wise. But nonetheless, he's my child. Its been two years and I've been in therapy and I when I started to date my ex I was ready. Now I'll have a long time away from dating. This one stings. @AndrinaThank you for your advise. @SooSad33This situation has brought many lessons to me. I know I need to focus on myself but I don't regret falling in love and wanting a life with her. Love doesn't have a timetable and I'll always stand by that. I know too many people who met love of their life and knew right then they would marry. 5 months or 5 years, I know what I want in a woman with marriage/love. Unfortunately I was lied too and my love for her concealed the red flags. I will vet my next partner more for sure.
  2. @No1You are correct. I am in the process of moving on and accepting my new reality. She has every right to get what she wants. If she wants a man with no children. Thats perfectly fine. But Im just amazed at how it went this long without her ending it earlier. I wish she would have just turned me down as soon as I said I had a child. I would have say thank you and good luck. But after loving someone and bascially I forced this idea of a future with her in my head. Its hard. @TinydanceI can only tell you what she said that day. IDK if she meant it or not. But it still hurt nonetheless. After going over conversations and way she acted in relationship as well. You are correct. I dont she was actually a good person at all.
  3. @arjumandThank you for honesty. But I would never abandon him. Even when she asked me to choose. I felt like if I told her Id choose her. Shes make up some excuse to still break up with me. But hes my son. Im not ever giving him up. So I guess its in the best interest that she left me. Blessing in disguse as they say. @gamonI went NC with her as soon as she dumped me so I really dont know. I hope not. I know now that I wouldnt want to raise children with her now. She has way too many unresolved issues.
  4. Thank you! Im realizing that now. She really was a bad person.
  5. No Its just a statement. I take pride in being a good father. Its just I meant when I told her I wouldnt put him infront of her is that I would never neglect her. I would never make her feel out of touch or unwanted. If she was going to be my wife shed get all the love plus more from me. I would never abandon or hurt her in favor of my child. I loved them both so I wouldnt choose one over the other. Thats what I meant.
  6. You're right... Its just I thought if she truly loved me. You'd see past the hard situations. If she had a child I would love the child as if the child was mine bc I loved her. Its just hard to accept she left me because its not something she wanted to deal with. It makes me feel sad about dating because its already hard enough to date with a child being a man. This issue always comes up. But I thought she understood and loved me beyond this. It just really stinks.
  7. Hello all, Background: I have a 5 year old son who is my adopted son. When he was born I thought he was mine and I coparented for 3 years. During that 3rd year I got a DNA test done out of curiosity. He was not mine, but I love him too much to abandon him. Hes my son and I want to be in his life. 19 days ago my ex dumped me out of the blue with her reasoning being because "she doesnt want to be a step mom to a child thats not mine." We dated for 10 months, its not that long but for me I was ready to marry her. I was going to propose to her in May before my graduation. I have a ring and everything and this is blowing my mind right now. I cry everyday on the thought of her. My ex, has known about my son from day 1. We have had mulitple conversations about how my son would fit in our life. We discussed if he might live with us if I wanted a better life for him. We even dicussed how she felt and what she didnt like it but respected I was still in his life. Thats why this doesnt make sense to me. A week before she dumped me, she meet my son for first time which she says caused her to rethink the situation and what she wants. First, my ex deserves whatever she wants in life. its her life. I will not self impose my beliefs or wants for her. Her happiness is her own. If she doesnt want to be with a man with a child. Thats her right but my issue with this is how can these issue pop up 10 months LATER. We spoke everyday. We talked everyday. We spent so much time together. She old me she'd never leave me a week before she dumped me. She said I was her best friend all the time. She told me I was her soul mate and that our souls will always find each other in past lives. She told me all the time how I was the sweetest caring man in the world and how she was so lucky to have me and that I was everything she ever wanted in a man. How could someone who I trusted and loved abandon me so quickly. If she never wanted to date a man with a child why let it go 10 months with me thinking I was going to spend my life with her. We had talked of marriage. We talked about kids. We talked about moving in together this summer and start our life together. The day before this all started she kissed me and told me she loved me and was all over me. I am just thrown in a maze of emotions right now. Why tell me shes going to have my children and were going to raise them to be amazing kids but leave? Why subject me with all the love and support and encouragement I ever recieved in a relationship and then be gone like nothing happened? I know I should move on. I know its the best thing for me but this is the first connection I ever had with a woman. The first time I ever wanted to marry a woman. I told her I wanted to go to the court house in August 2020 and she said she was ready but we didnt because I decided she deserved a bigger wedding. It was my fault we didnt get married ove summer. She was ready to marry me in August. How can she just leave me like this right now? The day before she broke up with me she sends a text first thing in morning stating "I cringe every time you mention your son." She goes on to say how she would be mean to my son. She would get into fights with her his mom. She even said "I dont know if I'll ever be able to love your son". Last thing she said "that day was shes just letting me know how she feels. Shes not breaking up with me". She states shes has abandoment issues because her dad left her before she was born and she doesnt want me to abandon her or make her feel unimportant because of my son. I would have never dont that to her. I would do anything to be with her! I would never put my son over her. I know in marriage wife comes first. I would give my last dollar or cut off my leg for her. I didnt get my son plenty of times bcause I was spending time with her bc I was focused on creating a connection and bond for marriage. I dont understand why she didnt even want to work on this issue. We could grown and worked thru these issues she had. She even stated before that shes broken up with dudes for no reason. That she always causes the break up. That she leaves bc shes scared in relationships bc she doesnt feel worthy enough. But We could have gone to therapy about her feelings and these issues, but she just left me with the coldest and meanest face I have ever seen her give to me. I was so hurt. When she dumped me she said "If I asked you choose *blank* or me who do you pick? " I said Im not picking anyone over anyone. But Im not abandoning him. Hes my son. I love him. I still pick you bc I love you. You are always be first to me though. "Well you made your choice. Its over. I deserve better then to be a step mom..." when she said that I started to cry. Last thing she said to me was, "Dont block me just yet, my period still hasnt came." I lost it then. I hung up the facetime call. I started to crying more and instantly went to facebook to unfriend her. She had already unfriended me. She had planned on breaking up with me before I even got on facetime with her. I feel betrayed. All my trust and love I had in her is gone. I wanted a life with her and she didnt with me. I just feel so worthless right now. Any advice...Please. Thank you
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