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  1. If you treated her well its not to say she won't reach out at some point just don't hold onto that hope and keep on with your own goals, i think this pandemic has affected everyone's mental health and the way they feel it's a tough time for everyone, the dating apps in my opinion are just a distraction, the girl I was seeing done that twice and nothing come of it in fact it made her come back to me but although it felt good at the time it's just prolonged the inevitable, I didn't want to accept or believe it but once it happens the first time it's hard to get back to how it was and the doubt w
  2. I'm going through an almost identical situation myself at the moment so you are not alone my friend, it seems you've done all the right things and will just take time, I personally have been trying to channel all the pain and heartache into achieving the goals I set myself, also the pandemic will hopefully start to come to an end soon and some sort of normality will return to be able to enjoy the things we took for granted. I tell myself now however much you feel you love someone and it hurts them not being in your life, it's not right and fair on yourself if they don't feel the same and
  3. Thank you for being so understanding, I've never been active in forums and I'm finding it really helpful speaking with other people who have lived these experiences, I can assure you I will not contact her under may circumstances, I have done this many times and am very stubborn with this barring the Christmas message but that was a weak moment and me only being courteous because I care, I know that I won't even send a bday message this time, I am determined to heal this time and not have any interruption in the process, I have so much going for me, I have a well paid job, no ties to kids etc,
  4. I completely take on board what your saying but it's still so hard for me to accept since this happened before and she has come back and we have slept together, she is very mixed up and openly admitted she is afraid of commitment and things can be intense between us which is when she panics and backs off, she has a very complicated life with 3 children to look after and feel she just wants something casual and exciting for her that might develop into something which is heartbreaking for me and I know I have to accept, I really do think this is the last time she will come back to me with second
  5. They will be happy as they know its for the best and don't want to see me unhappy, at the same time especially my mum, they do understand when you have strong feelings for someone its hard to reject them when they tell you what you want to hear to give you hope, I have been struggling with alternating feelings, one moment I feel liberated that I'm going to move on and be in a happier place at some point and look back with relief then after i will feel like I hope it isn't the end and at some point things may sort themselves out, I just hope the latter fizzles out, its so hard to train your min
  6. If I'm honest I don't think it will take 4 months, we'll I hope so anyway, I feel like I've processed this enough in my head enough for a long time now and I've known the feeling is not mutual but she wants me in her life because its comforting for her to have someone who idolises her and an emotional pillar, where I went wrong before was checking her social media and terrified of her meeting someone else, even though that thought gives me anxiety I am now in the mindset that it will be someone else's problem or maybe not it may lead to happiness, either way I do know once I get over the hill
  7. I used to enjoy gaming, bit too much for my age and was made to feel this was no attractive to her so pretty much packed it up and now I can't enjoy it, however I do still talk to my friends online just don't really engage in playing any games anymore, I will probably regain this at some point, my new job is pretty hands on and takes 13-14 hours of my day with travel so I'm occupied in the week, I'm just trying to save as much money as possible to enjoy life after lockdown, probably a good time to start healing just in time for social activities, my friends and family are very understanding an
  8. Appreciate your words, even though I knew all this in my gut and was inevitable I'm really struggling today because it's the first time I'm really forcing myself to accept its over and no going back, I do suffer from very low self esteem which is why it's been so hard to accept especially when I'm getting pulled back in on her terms for her own benefit and naively thinking something will come of it, I have blocked social media and deleted any trace of her from my life so hopefully without being exposed to her I can heal properly this time and not look back
  9. So it has happened and the conversation has took place, only sad thing it was initiated by her, things have been cold although we did have a walk and kissed 2 weeks ago and she still seemed unsure but since then it's clear from the messages being sent that is nothing there at all, this was confirmed with another face to face conversation where she has openly said she is on online dating sites and wants to move on at some stage, I knew all this already so it's not a shock and I am disappointed with myself for letting this happen this way but not being too hard on myself because I can't help the
  10. Thank you for your insights everything that has been said is true, I'm not proud of how I handled it and how long it has been going on, I just never seem to be able to resist when she gets back into contact because I am so unhappy, this time though things are a lot better in over aspects of my life, I'm easily manipulated by her words when she says there is something between us, this is why I want to stop all this nonsense for a clean break
  11. Hi just would like some people's opinion on whether I am doing the right thing, I'll try to sum up as quick as possible, we are both 35 by the way. I have been on and off with a girl I have known for 20 years for 20 months now, in this time she has been unsure and wanted to call things off 6 times so about 7 months of that has been nc. Everytime she has contacted me and wanted to speak to me again, it's never been an official relationship and she has 3 children, the first 2 months were great and felt she was more into me than I was her but then she suddenly decided there was something mis
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