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Pau

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  1. Pau

    A Cold Shoulder

    Hey Catfeeder, Your questions have been really insightful. If it were just a friend, I wouldn’t not have been bothered. I guess the confusing thing for me was that he behaved like a friend when we had explicitly behaved differently previously. he wasn’t as engaged in conversation with me as I would have liked, it was more like a hang out situation rather than getting to know someone you’re genuinely interested in. Now that I asked him about his behaviour and he apologised for his coldness, saying that he was overthinking in his head that he thought I was only after one thin
  2. It sounds to me like there are differences in love languages a bit, she needs those words or affirmation and reassurance, and I think even more so because she is an anxious character. Her fears that stemmed from her past relationships are currently affecting this one, and I see how being accused of things you didn’t do hurts, because it conveys that she doesn’t trust you. It feels almost to me like she’s punishing you for what the last guy did. I think that putting expectations on when you can say the “L” word is also throwing a spanner in the works. Personally I feel like four mon
  3. Pau

    A Cold Shoulder

    Hello Tinydance! Your advice really speaks to me. I think you may have a point about him trying to relieve his guilty conscience and to soothe his own ego by taking things back to a platonic level after already sleeping with me. I think people really do like to save face and when motivated by guilt. You said “If he wanted to show that he wants you for more than just sex, he could have organised a nice date, took you out or did something romantic at home. Then still had sex. “ I completely agree here. A romantic dinner or something could have been a way to “prove” himself. And t
  4. Pau

    A Cold Shoulder

    Thanks wiseman. I shouldn’t analyse people so much in such a short amount of time. I’m far too sensitive methinks. A bit more reflection on what I’m willing to risk. As for my health in regards to COVID and stds, I’ve been tested recently and am all fine. take care, P
  5. Pau

    A Cold Shoulder

    Hehe, thank you Capricorn3, this freedom loving Sagittarian seems to pick out oddballs. Your advice is noted. p
  6. Pau

    A Cold Shoulder

    Hi East4, No this is a different person. I find the way you speak a little condescending and hurtful. Would you mind being a bit more understanding or kind about your tough love next time you respond to me? P
  7. Pau

    A Cold Shoulder

    I really appreciate your perspective here. Not to worry about std testing as I’ve already booked one in and everything is all clear. He probably is just a young guy who tried the mysterious thing but of course, a bit of alcohol can make things even murkier. I like what you said about your gut instincts, and if the way he made me feel isn’t my cup of tea, or if it makes me uncomfortable, then I’m entitled to not liking it. I can’t know what’s going on in his head, all I know is how it makes me feel, and that’s okay. This made me feel like I bit more autonomy in the situation.
  8. Pau

    A Cold Shoulder

    You are right that I need to slow waaaay down here. It’s way too early for me to be letting my emotions get caught up in this. thanks for your honest feedback!
  9. Pau

    A Cold Shoulder

    Thanks for putting it into more perspective friend! it’s true, it’s not like he cancelled or stood me up or anything. And it’s too early to get caught up here.
  10. This kind of thing hurts so much. I am empathising for you. It’s over, so you need to begin this healing process, so I think don’t contact her at all, and to delete her from you social media so you don’t get tempted to check up on her. Trust me, it makes things so much worse when you can see their profile. For my own heart, when I break up with someone I need to not connect with them again, and to unfriend them so their name doesn’t pop up on my feed. You gotta leave it and look after you now. No more energy being put into her. I hope you’re feeling better since it happened
  11. Aw he is being flirty I think. Try flirting back perhaps? Be friendly and interact again!
  12. Pau

    A Cold Shoulder

    Hey hey there! I understand him wanting to get to know me in a more emotional and personal way than just sex. I was hoping for a similar thing to unfold. I think I was just the stark coldness that I found a little disorientating. Hot and cold is a bit hard sometimes. Maybe you’re right, maybe he was trying not to get excited. Not sure. We are both in our early twenties, and I have been to his house before. I’ve even met his roommates, so I don’t think he’s married? thanks for sending your thoughts. P
  13. Something makes me want to just say, block block block. It’s not helping you to be reminded of him in this way, I don’t think it serves anybody. I suspect he’s either trying to maintain a civil or friendly little relationship with his ex out of politeness or guilt or some other kind of slightly self serving motive. Or if I were to think worse of him,..he could be trying to keep you on the back burner just in case any “what if” situations come up between you two. you don’t need this, friend. Ask him not to contact you because it doesn’t help your healing process, or gen
  14. Pau

    A Cold Shoulder

    Haha!! Oh no! How did I get myself into this. Can I ask what parts about him say weirdo to you? I know something feels up but I can’t put my finger on what. Am I oblivious?
  15. Pau

    A Cold Shoulder

    Mind***s are truly no fun.
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