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  1. All good inputs again, thank you. I don't think she's hurting about her marriage anymore. She uses clear, focused statements about her marriage and next steps that tell me she's put some thought into it. She is also in the process of moving on and growing. I too am happy where I am and am ready to move on and grow. I think the key thing is that because of this forum (of all things) she and I have started a healthy discussion about where we are and what we want. I also have taken the appropriate steps and have lined up a relationship therapist to at least help guide me though all of this. I val
  2. I know there is no formula to love life success - so your advice to tread lightly is well received, ty. With that said, my situation is far more mature and advanced than hers. My wife and I went through therapy and came to the peaceful conclusion that what we once had was never really based on compatibility. We loved each other, but felt forced into marriage by family and friends. We made it work ok for 14 years before we both knew it was over. We have respectfully decided to move on and have been living like that, as a "team" with our kids, for about 2 years. It was only a few months ago we d
  3. Point well taken. I don't believe in that stuff anyway. I do believe in logic, and being open enough to have an adult conversation. Thanks for the feedback.
  4. If you are a therapist - I'd gladly seek out your services... (seriously, PM me if you are) I feel like you are reading me so well its scary. My current wife (who is aware and accepting of my current relationship) and I are literally at the point of discussing these terms. The prospect of now managing multiple financial situations, kids leaving my everyday life (this kills me to no end), TELLING the kids about the divorce, me finding a new home and living on my own for the first time in 20 years, etc., etc. etc... I'm basically ignoring my current situation by getting lost in the new one. Bein
  5. Sometimes we already know our best course of action. I think my fear up until now (thank you for telling me to breathe...) has been losing this person, since I just "lost" my wife. My GF definitely had a very rough upbringing, and I can tell she uses sex as part of her love language. Mix in the fact that neither one of us have had a good sex partner in forever, and it creates a recipe for us to basically act like we're 19 again. bluecastle I really appreciate the honest response and I think I need to sit down and talk with her about all of this.
  6. I'm completely in my head right now about my personal situation, so I figured why not air it out here. So... my life is exceptionally complicated right now. I'm 42, the best shape of my life, fantastic but stressful career, and am going through what most would call an amicable divorce after 16 years. My wife cheated on me a few years ago with a much younger man. We tried to reconcile (talking, therapy, etc.) but it destroyed our marriage ultimately and as a casualty, my sexual confidence took a hit. We tried to get drunk and fumble through it, but neither of us were into it. Basically, other t
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