JasminesMommy

Okay, well thanks guys. And, yes you're right Bally's. I thought that situations like this were only true with male-female relationships/friendships. Where once you cross the line of friendship, things get complicated. I had NO idea it could happen with just a female pal of mine. This is so difficult. And, I know I'm not completely innocent here. I have made the decision to temporarily not talk with her because of the intensity of her accusations and confrontations. It's so draining and she has been calling me all day and texting me all day literally and I have avoided her except for one reply text message. I'm going to just let things fizzle so that I can clear my head and so that she can calm herself down. Hopefully, in a couple of days, I can keep you guys posted.

I may have missed something, but are you posting under two different user IDs? europo27 and europo34?

Wow, thanks so much folks. Well the thing is this: I definitely do have a preference for men. But so does she. She is sort of dating this guy right now. And we often talk of what it will be like when we're married with kids and the whole shabang. She's hoping to meet her future husband, so while I doubt that she wants anything in the form of a romantic relationship with me, I wouldn't be surprised if she thinks of me as a best friend with benefits. And, honestly, that's what it had been for the past year (not frequently, like I already described). However, I do NOT want to have any kind of benefits with her anymore (unspoken or not). But there is more at stake. My friend is an emotional person...and so am I. We deal with our emotions drastically different, however. I shut down and keep to myself when I am afraid, upset, frustrated, confused, etc. So lately (meaning since earlier this year), she jumps on my case for little or no reason at all. The latest is when she showed up at my home and I was surprised to see her but I wasn't at all upset or pissed (why would I be??). So when I said, "Hey" She replied by saying "Why didn't you call me back?????", with a very pissed off tone. And I'm like "What are you talking about?" ANd she told me that she called me earlier and left a message on my cell because she wanted to bring back something she'd borrowed. I never received a call OR a voicemail, but she didnt believe me. She just handed my stuff over and walked away. Anyway, since then she has left me these crazy messages and texts on my phone. But I haven't answered her because honestly you guys, she stresses me OUT. I am only 24, I shouldn't have to be dealing with this. I don't like to argue....she does. I'm not confrontational....she is. I don't like repetitive events....she does. Because this what I'm describing is NOT a first. This has been happening at least once per week or once every other week. How can I talk to her about the issue at hand, and also about how the constant bickering tires me out? How do I do this without ending up once again going back and forth with her?

Well, I am definitely sure that I do not have feelings for her. But her on the other hand, I'm not sure. I do know that she has a very intense personality to begin with and this carries over into the frienship, cause over the past couple of months it seems she's always finding some reason to get an attitude or to argue. And I'm just thinking to myself, "Why the heck am I arguing with a FRIEND? This is not some boyfriend that I have to constantly explain myself to!!!" And, you're right, I couldn't just end our friendship. I love that gurl, just like all the rest of my close close friends. But things are just getting very intense and slightly out of hand. And it seems I don't know how to get it back under control.

WEIRD but SERIOUS question. The situation is this: I think my best friend in the world wants more from me. Me and my best friend have been so for over 10 years now. But we got really close this past 2 years because we had each had some VERY hard times. We encouraged each other, lifted each other up, laughed, went out to parties, hung out and just watched TV and everything. But a little over a year ago, she sort of mentioned trying a threesome but just laughed it off. But one night when we, and a good guy friend of mine got drunk, we had a threesome, then when it was over, she took me! I know this sounds silly, but she did...and we were both still slightly drunk. Then another night when we were drunk, it was just me and her and she initiated it. Since then, it has happened maybe 2 other times. The thing that worries me however is that this past weekend, when we were out and only SLIGHTLY intoxicated, she said "Since I'm drunk, I may as well say this: You bleep bleep bleep (*in other words "do oral sex really good")." Then she said that we should please each other when we got back to the hotel. So after we both showered and were in the bed, for some odd reason, I got so turned on to the point that I initiated it. This time we were FULLY sober. And after it happened, I thought OH GOD I JUST INITIATED SEX WITH MY BEST FRIEND.....MY SIS. And even now, 5 days later, I keep thinking that in my head. And I can't explain it, it feels incestuous and dirty. Please help me. Someone?? I don't want to do that ever again. I don't want to get turned on by my best friend who could easily be more like a sister to me. I don't want her saying I [do oral sex really good]. Should I end the friendship?

Is anybody currently or previously had personal experience with resistance to interracial dating?

Well, right now I am staying with my parents because of issues with my ex (long story) and I've been living with them at their home to save up, get myself together again, etc. I've been living with them for about 8 months now. And although they didn't specifically say it's because they are concerned about us being two different races, I know it's what they're saying in their heads. And this is because my older sister married a man who was was dating and eventually married an Italian and my parents were upset about this. I just don't know what to do . I can't just say I want to be with him because it's not like he lives by himself. (He's 23 and in grad school, so living with his parents right now) . But at the same time, I've been through a lot with my ex and in love/relationships period! And it seems like he's one of the good guys that I could be missing out on. I feel so sad, because I like spending time with him, but if this is just the beginning of resistance to interracial couples, then I'm very worried. Any ideas on what approach to take with this?

Hello everyone. I have a serious decision here on my hands. I've been friends with this man (who's white) for over 5 years now. He is so sweet. He's been there for me all the time. He cares a lot about my daughter, he's a friendly guy so he gets along with everyone, etc. All together, he's a real stand up guy. Up until about a year ago, he was with this woman that took him on a real tail spin. So basically, we've been there in the others' time of need. Well, just recently, my parents have noticed that we've been spending more time together and also because I've been talking about him moreso and they say I'm acting star-struck or something. But I'm not. So my problem is they basically say that he can't care for a woman who's single with a child (me) and that if I want to consider being with him, then I should find somewhere else to live!! Can you believe this? They just said this last night after some heated words. I know they're just saying this because of his race (he's white, I'm black). So what do you think I should do? All opnions appreciated