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Spicydicey449

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  1. So I'm 25, my sister is 22. We haven't talked in about 3 years now. That reason being her boyfriend. They started dating when she was 18 and he was 35. He is a gigantic creep, has come onto me, cheated on her, had her using heroin. ANYWAYS, even beyond that, one time him and my sister made sure that I walked in on them having sex when my boyfriend at the time was out of town. They knew I was home and chose to act like that with the door wide open. Anyways, called my then boyfriend, be called and confronted her boyfriend about it and it was a big ordeal. Because they didn't "understand why that was wrong". Fast forward 3 months, my boyfriend was sleeping prior to his night shift and my sister was moving out (me, my then boyfriend and sister lived together at the time). But she brought this guy over to help her and when they were done he proceeded to go into OUR room and attack him in his sleep and RUN out. We didn't press charges because he knew where we lived and clearly has nothing to lose. But even worse, when I confronted my sister about it, she told me "he got what he had coming, and if you don't watch it, you're next." Thus we haven't talked in years because I won't be threatened like that. I haven't told anyone in my family what happened mostly because I'm afraid that she'll isolate even more and never have an out. But I'm also sick of everyone thinking I just hate her for no reason. And my mom is visiting for the first time in forever and had spent a couple days at their house and has been talking about him kind of nicely and it is making me physically sick. I feel like I need to tell her but part of me wants to protect my sister. Idk why, it's not like she even deserves it. Opinions, advice
  2. So I'm 25, my sister is 22. We haven't talked in about 3 years now. That reason being her boyfriend. They started dating when she was 18 and he was 35. He is a gigantic creep, has come onto me, cheated on her, had her using heroin. ANYWAYS, even beyond that, one time him and my sister made sure that I walked in on them having sex when my boyfriend at the time was out of town. They knew I was home and chose to act like that with the door wide open. Anyways, called my then boyfriend, be called and confronted her boyfriend about it and it was a big ordeal. Because they didn't "understand why that was wrong". Fast forward 3 months, my boyfriend was sleeping prior to his night shift and my sister was moving out (me, my then boyfriend and sister lived together at the time). But she brought this guy over to help her and when they were done he proceeded to go into OUR room and attack him in his sleep and RUN out. We didn't press charges because he knew where we lived and clearly has nothing to lose. But even worse, when I confronted my sister about it, she told me "he got what he had coming, and if you don't watch it, you're next." Thus we haven't talked in years because I won't be threatened like that. I haven't told anyone in my family what happened mostly because I'm afraid that she'll isolate even more and never have an out. But I'm also sick of everyone thinking I just hate her for no reason. And my mom is visiting for the first time in forever and had spent a couple days at their house and has been talking about him kind of nicely and it is making me physically sick. I feel like I need to tell her but part of me wants to protect my sister. Idk why, it's not like she even deserves it. Opinions, advice
  3. Calling her a hoe and attempting to dictate her decisions is definitely not going to work in your favor. You're her friend. You have no control over that. She does not owe you anything. Honestly the fact that you're already mad over her behavior is concerning. You sound like someone who is very controlling and should reflect on yourself a bit before pursuing a relationship with anyone.
  4. Yes you should leave him. The irratic/angry behavior, the taking his stress out on you and being lazy and careless leaving you to pick up after him will never end and you'll grow to resent it so much. I've been there 😬
  5. Yes that is absolutely abuse.
  6. If you seriously want kids, split up. If he doesn't, he doesn't. And you knew that from the beginning. Its a very fundamental thing. I very much doubt trying to force that situation would end well.
  7. I've been seeing this guy for about 2 months (I'm 25, he's 27). Everything seems to be going great. He seems very interested, has been putting in the effort and makes me feel really good. I've met some of his friends and we talk and see each other often. I'm just nervous to bring that up? I feel it's sort of insinuated that we're dating, but I'd like confirmation but I'm nervous. This is easily the best I've ever been treated, but nervous none the less.
  8. I haven't asked specifically no, but has told me he really likes me. And about 6 months since his last break up, and about a year and a half since my last serious one. Thank you! And no, I didn't. I met him off of tinder.
  9. I'm 25, I've been seeing this guy who is 27 for a little over a month now. And I feel like it's the best I've been treated thus far. I got out of an almost 6 year, very toxic relationship where he was super possessive and jealous but also quite literally never acted like he liked me. Then I dated a string of guys in the past 2 years that haven't panned out. They all either "weren't looking for something more serious" or would be until they found the next best thing. But none of them ever really went out of their way at all to make me feel special, even though they were nice to me (none of them were bad people). BUT this guy takes me out, makes a point to see me throughout the week even though our weekday schedules aren't very aligned. I think he took me out and just hung out with me and tried to get to know me around 4 or 5 times before he even tried to kiss me? (Since we have been having sex and its great as well). He's had me come over and cooked me dinner and introduced me to some of his friends, and holds my hand publicly and stuff. He's gone plant shopping with me and let's me do his nails. It's awesome and weird. I genuinely feel like he is really into me. But I've such a bleh streak before that I'm just waiting for it to end. I also can't tell if it's too much? I don't think so. It feels genuine and it's not like he's dropping crazy money or anything. I also have bought him dinner, made dinner, brought him Starbucks before one of his classes. But this isn't "lovebombing" or manipulative sounding is it? Part of me feels ridiculous for asking, but part of me doesn't. It's just weird to not be treated to well prior to this so it feels excessive to be prioritized to someone?
  10. Yes he spends a lot of time with her and she doesn't so much ask me as leave me voice-mails while I'm at work saying that I never come see her, and then when I do, she criticizes my entire life
  11. (I didn't know where to categorize this so I apologize if it's wrongly placed 😬) So my grandma lives fairly close to me (within half an hour). She lives next to my dad, but in her own house. The thing is, she is a bully. She is so mean and always has been. But I know she's so lonely. And occasionally she can be fun to be around. But even though I live so close I see her/talk to her around once a month because sometimes that is literally all I can make myself do after being around her for so long. She has tormented a good portion of my life (though I don't believe it was all intentional). Also she is like that to everyone, not just me. But I just feel lots of guilt around not spending time with her. But I also cannot make myself want to. What brought this on extra heavy is my dad telling me that she offered my sister money to literally hang around and bake with her. (Which my sister didn't take, still stayed and hung out and then had my grandma pick a fight with her. She's not very healthy and in her 80s. She can't do much. But I don't know how to cope with this all in the time being: (
  12. I do know that. I just think I seek that validation so I allow it. It is an issue
  13. The communication has been good! We text daily, give each other updates on our day. I do enjoy him. My difficulty is whether or not I'll be more interesting than just a friend 😂 but I think I'm over thinking it a bit. I'll give an update if anything exciting happens.: ) And he's from the same city I'm from. He's from a Mexican family and I'm white. We're 25 and 26.
  14. So I met this guy about two weeks ago on bumble. We have GREAT conversation and went on one date so far. I had a lot of fun. He's very nice, we have a lot in common and he's texted me consistently since. We're supposed to have another date this coming weekend. My only issue is (and I think it's definitely a me issue) is that he's hard to flirt with. We definitely joke around in ways that could be flirty I guess? But definitely not anything crazy. But I mean I think he likes me?I just have a very hard time assuming he's interested in me on more than a friendship level even though we met on a dating app? Is that normal and healthy or am I just so conditioned with guys trying to get physical right away that this seems weird? (I'm definitely not opposed to it going slow and I think he's great by the way) my insecurities are just kicking in
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