shishi2

We are a friend group of 5 girls in our late 20s. My friend Cassie had a relationship for 1 year and something more with a guy (this was 4 years ago). It was an toxic relationship mostly emotional abuse to her, he was very jealous and controlling but it never got physical. They had extreme fights and even though they decided to live together it did not work out. He left her after a big fight. He talked to me first some days after the break up, accepted all of his toxic behavior and said to me that he had been seeing a therapist (for 1-2 months before they broke up) and he realised that his behavior is abusive and that he needs to fix himself and being with her makes things worse for him. She still loved him but did not actively try to get back with him then. (I say for the better). After this he continued to go to therapy I dont really know if he fixed things inside him that led him to that behavior but he surely made a lot of steps towards being a better person. Since the break up and after 2-3 months of talking on the phone and a meet up with her (like closure thing) he never contacted again. He never did anything threatening to her or bother her at all. All good up to here? She on the other hand is OBSESSED. She talks about the relationship all the time and tries to find excuses to blame him that he poses a threat to her. She says that he is looking at her all the time (he has a new gf for a year now) but he is not. She has gotten paranoid she thinks she hears his friends talk about her when she is around (we live in a small city so we see each other a lot) which is really not happening. Everytime she goes on a date with a new guy she says that the new guy is acting weirdly around her because her ex has told bad stuf about her to everybody, which I know ahe has not. Every rejection she had in her love life since, is because her ex goes to her potential lovers and warns them about her and stuff. These things DO NOT HAPPEN. She connects everything with him. She started going to the gym a couple of months ago and she found out her ex is going there too, and even though he goes there different classes and hours and they dont meet and he went there before her, she insists he did it to spy on her. She sees cars following her and says it is his friend that he sent to spy on her. Like for what? It pure paranoia. She cannot talk for anything else than him. She has been going to a therapist 2 years now but the therapist seems really bad since she has not been helped at all. On the contrary its getting worse. I cannot even remember every crazy thing I have heard the last years. We are all tired. We cannot go out and talk about anything its always going to be about the ex in the end. We have talked about it we supported we understand the trauma she has from the abuse but she needs to move on. She is losing most of her social circle and I am very sad about it. I have told her all this but she refuses to believe me. What do I do? She had relationships with other guys (one was 4 years and more serious than this one) but this never happened! I dont know what to do!

I said this clearly that I am not looking for a relationship and he agreed.

I said I wanted a sexual relationship with one or more people. I was ready to date but not anything serious. I was 2 years long distance and had sex 3 times the past year. I cant be shamed for that.

I did not use him for sex. We met had sex it was good and we did it again. I was clear about my past from the second date and told him I cant have another relationship and he said that he does not intend to bc he has no free time. 3 months later he says he does not have anything with other girls since he is satysfied with me as a sexual partner and I said I did not have either (It just did not occur.) After 2 months he starts getting jealous. He fell in love and we never said we are together it just happened. I did not intend that. I also did not intend to feel for my ex again. It was friendly until I started missing him and dreaming about him. Idk why.

I am really very sorry if this was a rebound I did not intend to. It started really slow and chill (I just needed some sex life because it was dead long time) and this all happened. I was having a fun time that I did not have long due to covid quarantine and I just did not realise it. I need to fix it. How do I say this?

Hello! I am in my late 20s and I have a relationship with the sweetest guy for nearly 10 months now. Before this I had a 5 year relationship (the love of my life) and before that one a 4 year abusive relationship that left me with ptsd and anxiety disorders (There was physical abuse included). My second one was the only person I fell in love that much. Even though it was difficult we are both extremly wounded people we managed to grow and heal together and he was like a family to me. We broke up due to long distance because it was very hurtfull for me not to be around him. I moved on, but we kept in touch because we love each other very much. I never managed to fall in love with my current bf. I tried and he is amazing and I know I need more time to open up and trust and feel for men (due to the monster of my first relationship experience) but it just did not happen. He fell very fast for me and has been pushing the relationship to move to the next stage too much (ex. he said "I love you" in 4 months and I panicked and I said I love you back without meaning it- though I told him later- but you get the point.) and I think that was a turn off too. For the past 2 months i feel like I want to go back to my ex. I think and dream about him all the time and I cannot stop it. The past two weeks had been hell I think about him and that I want to see him grow old beside me, and to take care of him and I cry myself to sleep. I miss him terribly and I am completely blocked. I need to break up I know but I feel lost. What do I say?