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NoraJohns

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  1. Thank you, I am learning and I am sure I will be able to outgrow feelings that do not serve me and my relationship 🙂
  2. I understand and thank you for sharing, it might be not easy for you. I am learning how to deal with my feelings and this particular situation made me look deeper within myself. It is an ongoing process, but it is worth doing. I just want to have peace of mind and do not stress about these things. It is not worth it. Certain things happen in our lives that make us grow and make use wiser. I take this occasion as a lesson for myself 🙂
  3. Thanks for reply. It is really not a problem for me if a woman is single or not, but in this context it is one of many factors that I took into consideration in order to understand the situation. I agree with you that boudaries needed to be communicated, for me it was a self discovery to understand myself better and where to draw a line. I never had a similar experience in the past. The more you invest in relationship, more likely that you can become jealous. There are lessons for everyone here. Thanks again.
  4. Exactly that, she is in her 30s and single, I don't know what she was thinking. Inviting her over or communicate with her is excluded for me. As he said if he will be ina group of freinds and she'll be there, he would briefly speak to her. Which is fine with me. Thank you 🙂
  5. I see things exactly how you do. And yeah if he would have hanged out with her once ever now and then or played games or texted, this wouldn't bring the end towards their friendship or create uncomfortable situation. He has a tendency not to be direct or not mention things. And this was one occasion I caught him on by asking indirect question about his whereabouts. I have no idea how many times they were out together. But assume few times without him mentioning to me where he was. Generally while he was living in the shared accommodation he would have go out for walks very frequently... and si
  6. It is impossible to change an alcoholic. The desire to change will need to come only from him. It is a nasty addiction/illness that heavily impacts their decision making skills and harms other people around you. Arguments won't help, throwing away alcohol won't help. Please put you and baby first, you won't be able to help him. Only he can help himself and needs to have a desire to do so. You and your baby are n.1 priority.
  7. Sounds like a good dynamic, and I am open to do things together. In this case he never invited me to join him in a game. Sometimes we would play together but not on this occasion. He would just keep it between him and her and from what I discovered she is not a big player either and joined in for this specific game for less than a year ago. How did it all start I don't know. And at this point I don't want to know. I mentioned to him many times about the games I wanted to play but somehow he didn't acknowledge that or didn't say - hey I got this game that you like let's play together.... so yea
  8. Oh yes I have explained that to him. I told him it is up to you how you want to deal with it and how to establish boundaries. That was his decision and he is not resenting it. He told me after he spoke to her about the issue, obviously she apologised but she was harsh on him over the phone and also refused his xmas gift, that says what a good friend she is.
  9. Thank you, your question is not odd. He honestly didn't realise that their interraction might have crossed my boundaries and saw it as innocent. Funny thing is when he spoke with her about it, she was harsh on him and then she apologised to him later. They both said that they should have realised that earlier. And I should have voiced mine concerns earlier. Lessons learned )))
  10. I agree, he definitely liked the attention and he would have carried on as normal if I wouldn't have said anything. He had intention to pick her up for Christmas then let her be with us for all day and drop her back in the evening. That's definitely over the top. But glad it didn't happen. I will definitely need to be braver to speak up in the future and don't let certain things boil my blood for too long. Thank you for pointing out, it did cause a lot of tension indeed and now we need to heal.
  11. I should be mindful of what triggers fear in me. Definitely in the future will be more aware of this and won't let so much time to run before expressing myself. It was not my intention for him to stop talking to her or telling him who he needs to be friends with but he probably put himself in my shoes and realised that it hurts my feelings and prioritised the relationship over his friendship with her.
  12. Totally agree.... I tried for a year to be a cool gf. Then I lost my cool. I need to change how I see things in a relationship and this is what relationship do, at some point you lose yourself, but need to realise that and bring yourself back to yourself. Thanks.
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