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mical

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Everything posted by mical

  1. She sounds very attracted to ya and you are doing great at keeping her satisfied in the bedroom - what’s the secret ??? 🤣🤣 The last women I was dating also were aggressive (if that’s a way to call it?) sexually in initiating and pursuing .. all .. the .. time and it made me feel VERY guilty if I would turn down.. (I actually lost a ‘friend’ because I turned her down. Long story - but met her and a friend at a music festival like 15 years ago when I was younger, had idea to do last minute trip to Niagara Falls with her, it was getting late so she suggested a hotel but I was so naive lol and she asked if she could put on porn channel and I fell asleep - I wasn’t attracted to her in that way and she wasnt really not my type - and oh boy was she angry last time I seen her !) 🤦‍♂️ You could always just turn it around and just offer to give her a massage or something .. Yes, she will be sad if you reject her I think this is very common especially since women are not used to being rejected as much as us guys IMO. What you will need to do is be very comforting to her and give LOTS of reassurance like - “hey hun you are sooo hot and sexy to me, I have that stupid work stuff on my mind, I know it’s stupid, so I’m a bit stressed about that, so how about tomorrow I’ll ...” Yeah it’s pretty stressful times with Covid, at least the economy is picking up and I’ve been reading lots in newspapers right now workers have more power and are in demand than before. Even starting to save for an emergency fund 3-6 months of basic expenses would help get rid of any worries, but the economy is picking up, I just wish I invested 10,000 in Bitcoin when Covid hit and sold it now making almost 100k... oh well too late for that Also with working out etc yeah this was crappy year as well for many with not being able to go to gyms etc.. So far I’ve been trying intermittent fasting which is where you skip breakfast except can have coffee or tea , have lunch and last meal before 8 pm I think it helps with calorie control and is supposed to be overall pretty healthy .. so back again to my original question - what’s the secret ??? 🤣🤣🤣 Also don’t worry so much if you didn’t make her climax as usual, from what I can tell it’s more about the experience not so much the end result ..
  2. Sorry about this. Its her nature to be deceptive. I once dated someone like that and it was horrible. Do yourself a favour and find someone loyal and honest. She is not worth your time. I can imagine with having a job with lots of responsibility (and stress) it’s crucial to have peace of mind. Shes just bringing drama and headaches to your life and there’s no way she would change. It would actually get a LOT worse after having children together. there is a quote, “Choose very carefully the person that you spend your life with, because 95% of your happiness or your misery will come from that one decision.” It’s a pretty wise statement and very true.
  3. Ok 🙂 First of all, I think people should be treated with respect and dignity in the workplace and a boss etc should be there more to support, coach, develop and help you to grow and not berate, bully, micromanage, criticize sharply all the time, especially in front of others. I was a boss in my previous role and never once would raise my voice or shout, if I noticed there was a mistake or error someone did, just a simple - "Hi 🙂 Noticed xyz wasn't done / added, so if you could please add that would be greatly appreciated. Really helps us with xyz. Thank you :)" and definitely not in front of others. I think you have to have an emotional intelligence of 70 or so to not realize nobody feels comfortable being sharply criticized in front of others. Anyway, so recently I had some very unpleasant experiences and here's what I did that helped. Last year I was working for this very 'special' person you could say. He was absolute genius (I wouldn't be surprised if his IQ was 160 or more), but there was just one rather large issue - he lacked empathy. He was that 2% of the population you are warned about. The only emotions he expressed were - 1) dead silence and emotionless expression 2) anger and fits of rage 3) an evil sounding laugh...on a daily basis. He would hide in the back office and leave the light on even while sneaking out because he thought all us workers would slack off. When I fist met him I introduced myself, remember this sharp long dead stare, he immediately went off doing something else. Later on that day he came out shouting at somebody and one of the colleagues said - 'looks like the lion is out of the cage again' Anyway, so there would be constant berating, taking any chance possible to humiliate others, in front of people on slack or in person. One of the older guys has high blood pressure and the CEO must have been reading a private slack conversation between us, because as soon as he privately messaged me he didn't how to log into this platform, the boss started berating him in front of 300 people in slack for not knowing how to do his job. His BP elevated to such level he had to take few days off (and we switched to private whatsapp communication as it was clear our private slack conversations were being monitored). I would get messages at 3:00 am during the week and even 11:30 pm on Sundays with shouting. EVERY message to everyone would end with "?!?!?" just to enhance the sharpness. "What is this?!?! Where are we ?!?!?! I need this fixed. NOW!!!" and often for nothing or just some paranoia there was a 'bug' in this system. Learned the hard way never to say the "B" word because that resulted in swearing, and a slam on the phone during all hands meeting. My coworker: Oh, yeah I think there was a tiny little bug, but all fixed now CEO: Bug??!!!! What Bug?!!!?? There can't possibly be a bug!! Can't believe what you did!! !@#!@# (phone slammed) Anyways, the constant shouting was getting too much. He was the CEO afteral, so complaining to HR wouldn't and didn't do much. I regretted going to work each day for this very reason alone. I quit, they wanted me to stay and promised to change, it never happened, so I quit again. The final straw was when I went to visit my father who was diagnosed with cancer and the CEO wanted me to work and solve another 'never ending issue' that came with the job. He said something along the lines of "I know your father is ill, but I don't care and need this fixed. I EXPECT this solved by tomorrow, no excuses!! (father is now fine so all is good 🙂 That was the last straw. I found a better job and the weight was removed from my shoulders. I even changed industries, finally showing up to work with a smile on my face. No more in the middle of the night shouting. Even though it was great professional experience in the field, it just wasn't worth it. A life of peace at the workplace was far more important. The stress was getting too much and starting to affect my personal life, which I regret, I wasn't the happy positive person I was before. ***I also came across an interesting video from this psychology professor saying if you stay in a miserable job, after 5 years you will become bitter and age twice as fast, instead of looking 2-3 years older, you will look 10 - so that was some motivation right there! Fast forward, loving the new job, but there is another similar type of person, only she is not my boss and does not have any authority over me, so this makes things WAY easier to maneuver. Even though this person goes through our work, looking for the tiniest mistake, even reporting me to our boss and writing in our group channel I was late 7 minutes (there was a reason, but I didn't feel the need to have to justify myself and give her that sense of power, especially since she is not my boss). In order to out-maneuver this person who was actually trying to attack me (making up false rumors, spreading gossip, trying to damage my reputation, shouting, swearing, violently slamming fist on table), basically trying to show her dominance and have everyone fear her and report to her even though she is not a boss. She would love to be, but wasn't promoted 😉 Anyway, the way I managed to kind of out-maneuver this person was a bit complex, but mostly I was very lucky and met this amazing coworker from the UK who I am very grateful for. He is one of the most senior in the company and when he found out what was going on, he stuck up for me, defended me, reported on that person, and said he believed in my work and said I was industrious. It almost felt like a real life angel. In hindsight, I think this person attacking me was just a defense mechanism (malignant narcissism - there are some you-tube videos about it). So, having a great relationship with another person who is senior in the company was CRUCIAL. This changed everything. Also, I did try to have a meeting with that girl, but she said "We're not friends, I'll never have a meeting" so I reported to my boss right after. I later found out another super nice guy heard the way she was talking to me and reported her. What it was I think is that I came to work with confidence. The day before I started I did have some large responsibilities and was a boss myself. I think she sensed this and it irked her. She would say, "Any questions?" and any time I said "Im fine for now thanks, but I'll let you know" and her response was "Oh so you think you know everything don't you! " with a mean look and had a target on my back from day 1. I was given great advice to document every negative interaction, while keeping calm and professional. If it is something that happens more than twice a week, it could be an indication of a problem, otherwise just an angry statement here and there, shouldn't be mandatory to report about, as we all make mistakes and have our bad days. Anyways, after 4 months or so, and careful planning, documenting, having the right relationships, this person is no longer an issue to me. So far, the battle has been won. Also had some great tips from this community on how to deal with such a person so I am also thankful for that and it helped 🙂 So that's my story. Maybe just summary of points are - If it is just a one-off issue, might be best to ignore as we all have bad days - if it is multiple times a week, start documenting, there could be a problem - try and make a relationship with a trusted colleague, ideally who has some authority or seniority, you will get a lot of great advice, this person can give honest opinion of your work, and also help you grow, AND if there is a problem in the future, stick up for you - in the meantime, being calm and professional, a simple neutral "ok thanks for the input, got it" is better than responding with any emotions (and saying what you are truly feeling, which I would have gotten fired if I had done so :D) Hope it all gets better with your work! 🙂
  4. I was going to make a longer post sharing a similar story..but I think it comes down to how you feel in the long-term. Nobody should feel they are walking on egg shells around a person at work. I'd just try and focus on doing a great job and if it continues take next steps.
  5. As a man I’d be pretty happy 😃 🤙
  6. If he truly said that you would / should call the police. Last summer just around the block from where I used to live a man showed up at a house with a knife of the dentist his wife having an affair with (she was his assistant). The dentist instead stabbed him when he pushed his way through the front door, sending him to the hospital. Very serious.
  7. not sure yet if he is taking advantage of you or you or anything, but i'd suggest putting your foot down and letting him know that if you are going to pay finances he'll have to at least send some resumes..some people will take advantage so you gotta watch out.. I once helped out an acquaintance who recently moved to europe from Africa with a poor family back home and said he could stay on my couch or whatever and cooking him meals etc...but then after a week or so realized he wasn't looking for jobs or sending resumes...so i just said "hey, im happy to help you out any way i can, but you should at least be searching for jobs"..after few weeks i asked how many resumes he sent out and how the situation was with finding a job, he said he didn't send any and was just on facebook the whole day pretty much, so i just said one last time, after few days still never sent any resumes so i told him sorry but he must pack his things and leave... Just explain you're ok with helping out, but he's gotta put some effort to finding a job and contributing.. Its not easy..I felt pretty bad telling him to leave and still feel bad about it today, but we are still in touch and talk every once and a while, he has his own business back in Nigeria..doing alright.
  8. Exactly, unfortunately there are lots of crazy violent people out there 😞 , so OP should leave permanently never return back to him and doesn’t deserve such violence. For example when I found out my partner cheated the most drastic thing I did was block from social media..
  9. Same happened where I live, unfortunately. Husband found messages between his wife and another man and stabbed her 15 times. It’s very sad. Prior to this he seemed quiet and calm you would never suspect it. You would have never known he was crazy or capable of such violence. Maybe they had a fight after the discovery of the affair and she stayed, it’s possible her life could been saved by leaving the house ASAP. Some people are crazy and unpredictable, you never know. That being said, her life is in danger so should definitely avoid returning back home at all costs (at least until he is in jail) and get protection. It should be taken very seriously. Hope OP gets better soon and sorry for what had happened. It’s unfortunate and nobody deserves such violence and threats.
  10. Sounds like you made a decision you regret. Many couples will get in fights and have a break up or a “fake breakup” Sure give it a try again and learn from past mistakes. You have nothing to lose.
  11. Considering you are at least decent in attractiveness sure this guy would probably be interested I would say. You just need to put a move on him. invite him out for some drinks or whatever, outside of music. should work out
  12. Try and leave to protect yourself. The anger a man goes through finding out his wife was cheating has no limits and is probably the worst anger a man can have. I would fear for your life for the time being and leave as soon as possible. they say cheating on somebody causes same amount of pain like killing their loved one. I consider myself generally pretty nice and never really get in fights or anything like that but if I came home and my wife was having sex with another man and I had a gun, there’s a 97% chance I would shoot him in the leg. That being said, yes your life is in danger, plan to leave ASAP and don’t return. It’s a messy situation but you’ll be ok with time.
  13. Well it’s more about believing in yourself and knowing your worth vs arrogance. It’s really about perspective really. Assuming you live in the USA you already are one of the most successful people on the planet. Pretty much you already have the intelligence and capability to achieve a majority of things you want. i think women are just attracted to a guy that has something he’s passionate about and confident he can be good at it. Thats really it and it’s pretty simple. Doesn’t matter if you want to be the best firefighter or accountant, as long as have some compelling goal to aim towards I think that’s what women find attractive. We also tend to change but that’s ok! There are 2 great books I recommend - Awaken the Giant Within and also How to be 3% man. Actually I probably shouldnt share and give my secrets away also another thing, I’m also around your age and an idea that helps me from time to time is - “you are only 1 decision from a different life” which seems true and just one little change can have a very positive impact - like getting that new job etc All will work out! Best of luck!
  14. To be honest, this is actually pretty common. I think women tend to move on more quickly than guys, maybe just to try and block the pain from the breakup. I would just focus on yourself and finding someone better.
  15. Id be more concerned with your girl wanting to meet up with him when she had feelings for him. I think it's just BS she wanted to "meet up" just to "clear the air" that sounds just like lies.. I think your friend was just very attracted to her and trying to keep distance, but still crossing the line here and there. I once dated a girl and a mutual acquaintance of ours messaged her if I was there, I noticed the message and told her to say I am gone, and he said to her that I was seeing another woman (which was a lie) and he wanted her. So yes, there are pathetic people like this... I personally would start dating someone else and leave these people out of your life. Its soo complete BS about wanting to meet up with him to clear her feelings. So stupid.
  16. A famous Henry Ford quote, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right,” With a majority of women, it just comes down to confidence. If you don't think you are good enough to attract women - you're right If you think you are good enough - you're also right Try focusing more on creating a life you would love to live. Get back in shape, start going to a gym. Start socializing more with friends. Take that vacation you always wanted. If you are bored with your job, consider a new one..etc Once you are in a place where you are happy with your life the right woman will come along and want to be a part of it.
  17. yeah it sucks when someone doesn't do what you expect them to... at the end of the day does he care for you or show other actions that demonstrate he cares for you?
  18. I think you are thinking too much into it. Hang out with him again and try flirting a bit more or putting a move on him...
  19. Do you have children or a house together? If not consider yourself lucky. She is a woman of low integrity. When things were not going so well she is having inappropriate conversations with someone else and blames you. I agree with above post - life is too valuable and short. Do you really wanna be sleeping with one eye open when you got children and are at work..for the rest of your life? Best revenge is to keep living a great life without that person. If you want to forgive that’s fine, but she has low integrity and this will continue. Another thing is that you’ll have to have healthy boundaries (without being controlling). You can still be calm and respectful and say what your boundaries are and if she wants to keep chatting with this guy.. well you are free to leave.
  20. You have to put your foot down and be ready to walk away and leave. That is BS she wants to keep him as a best friend or whatever. if you go along with this she will lose respect towards you as a man and she WILL leave you for him. She sounds very immature. Actually similar happened to my friend. Left the Netherlands to live with his wife. They had a daughter. He was supporting her and the baby while she was at home for first couple years. While he was away he noticed similar, she was into gaming (that’s how they met) and she met a guy there. She eventually made up my friend threatened her which was a lie to justify locking him out of the house and letting they new guy move in. Very evil I must say. My friend left her and met some amazing girl and is VERY happy now.
  21. Don't worry so much. You are just really attracted to her that's all and probably should just focus on doing something productive while she's away like going to the gym, trip, studying, working, learning new things, going out with friends, etc. etc. To be honest, you definitely are not the only one who has felt this way. Many guys have. The funny thing is that women get turned off when a guy acts needy, whereas for men not so much. I was going to go on a trip this weekend a girl wrote me she would be a bit sad and was a tiny bit needy. That didn't bother me one bit on a scale of 0-10, a big fat ZERO but for a majority of women it's a turn off... Definitely don't apologize or bring it up. Best is to be positive, let her enjoy time with a friend, and to make up with the neediness, I would back off a bit and give her the space to reach out to you when she feels like it at least for now... You gotta learn to love/care for a woman in a way she feels free to come and go as she wants...
  22. Sorry to hear about this! It will get better. I know its super tough, Ive been there! Many many years ago I met this super sweet and pretty girl. One day when I was fixing the trim of her father's rental property she lived in with a few other girls, I found out upstairs she was writing with some NHL hockey player etc...and it was going on for a while and they were planning to meet... When I told my father he said "Son, see that picture of the Harley Davidson over there.. If you stay with her you can kiss one of those good-bye. Get her pregnant and she'll take everything from you.. She's the type of woman that if your boss invited you to his place for a dinner party, she'd be _____ with him" Pretty blunt, but I guess some truth to it. I would be thankful you realized this now and not later. My friend moved from the Netherlands to Austria to be with his girlfriend. They had a 2 year old daughter and while he was working and she was at home, she was chatting and hooking up with another guy. When he finally figured it out (he's a smart IT guy), she locked the doors of the house and made up that he was abusive just so he wasn't allowed back. He can't see his daughter when he wants, lost the house. A really great guy, so I feel sorry for him.. Anyways, it is great that you blocked her. I'd also get rid of anything that reminds you of her. My friend told me this advice once when he talked to a therapist about a bad breakup - "Time is your best friend" so eventually you will get over her, just will take time... You will definitely meet another GREAT women. And I think you can definitely get your confidence by cutting off contact from this woman. You stuck up for yourself and let her know you don't tolerate that BS. If I were you I would get in touch with that cute girl that is interested in you. You don't have to jump into anything serious right away, but it's good to keep moving forward...
  23. Why are you still contacting me even though you are probably still hooking up with your ex and lied about everything to me - who you live with, that you have a baby, that you shared same bed with ex, that you slept over there, that you lived with your sister, etc. etc It was really creepy to pretend to be another person and contact me on a language app. You are a psycho troll! Yes, you wrote me a nasty email accusing me of hooking up with lots of girls here, but that's not true. Actually, I will take my time and only date someone of high quality that has integrity and values honesty. Life is too short. Actually, I would rather date someone 15 kg overweight and missing a front tooth if she is easy-going, likes beer and going fishing. I don't need that extra drama you just are bringing into my life. You are a fun person and I could picture you as a good friend, but man you can be annoying and I feel sorry for the next guy you will date. And why are you now emailing me to help you with your school project that is due in 2 days. You even had the nerve to ask me to do the entire project for you while you are probably outside having fun and enjoying the nice sunny weather... I will just ignore you and get help from your REAL boyfriend.
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