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Yankeenoodle

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  1. It would have felt the same, probably with more questions thinking what I did wrong. I suppose I am minimizing how I felt in those 3 weeks leading up to my text, because more dramatic things have happened and I'm stuck in the rut of feeling guilty about sending that text. But yeah, if he was truly over his ex, that text would have made him want to work on that conflict with me. The fact that he is back with his ex clearly means he wasn't over her at all.
  2. I feel like my ex was the trigger that sent him back to his ex. I feel like if i hadnt sent him that text, he would try to make it work with me. But that text was what brought up unresolved feelings and he thought - instead of dealing with issues between us, he would rather try to win his ex back. And he did.
  3. I'm trying my best, it's just that the guilt of having sent that text makes me wonder if I really hurt him.
  4. I should also mention though - I forgot to write it in my original post - He did once (over the course of those 3 weeks ask me if I wanted to join him with his parents for an afternoon. I said I wasn't ready yet. That made me feel that he was being serious. And he said he understood.
  5. Thank you SO much for this. 8 months of being with me and can’t believe he was lying to me the entire time. I would like to believe he was truly trying to move on from his ex, idk why I still have him on a pedestal. But the fact that I sent the text - it keeps making me wonder that my behaviour was deranged, he probably thought I was a liar, controlling, manipulative person. I mean I know I was wrong and I’m actively seeking therapy for my insecure attachment but I’m none of those things. Thank you for this. It helps put my mind at peace.
  6. Thanks for your response. I did ask him if he was still thinking about her the last time we met, he said no, and that it happened “Tuesday”, which was the day he asked me to go hiking that weekend (and the last we spoke before the breakup), which is why I also think my text played a part in his feelings for his ex.
  7. Guy and I started dating for 3 months, everything was perfect and we were just right for each other. Then covid hit and I was stranded in a different city for 5 months. Over those five months we texted every single day, and grew really close. He texted me things like I really like you, I miss you, and he was a genuine guy. He offered to help me move when I got back, etc. we met a few times after I got back, after our last date I noticed a drop in texting, where we couldn’t go a day without texting, now 3 days would go by without a peep from him. I would initiate but the conversation would
  8. Yep, I didn't ask him any questions about his past because I thought it would be prying. He only ever mentioned his ex once (that too very casually), so I didn't realize he'd been hiding so much. (I thought he knew what he was doing.)
  9. Hi, I just wanted to reach out to say that this is exactly what happened. I ended up doing some social media stalking (not proud of it), and found out that he got back with his ex less than one week after we broke up. You were exactly right, which explains the unanswered text I had sent him too. I at least have proper closure now. Thank you.
  10. I guess that was the reason he had been acting so distant before the breakup. After our little “fight”, when we made up he said everything was fine, and he hadn’t forgotten about me and we should hang out the following weekend, then 2 days later he breaks up saying he still has feelings for his ex
  11. Thank you. I had reached out once but got ignored. So I guess I have my answer. I appreciate the perspective 🙂
  12. True but given we were involved for nearly 9 months (and 5 months long distance), that still wasn’t enough time for him to process the breakup? He started dating me 3 months after he split up from his ex. (sorry my phone is just making the font way bigger)
  13. Over 2 years, during the breakup he said he had wanted to marry her. nope, never mentioned her once except for one coffee mug he still had from her.
  14. Thank you for this perspective. I still feel a lot of guilt about how I handled things towards the end. I texted him and called him out on his lack of texting and initiative, but I might have come across as rude (I got really anxious). But I know the underlying reason was he wasn’t over his ex. But 4 months in person, and 5 months LDR and everything was fine when I got back. So like a total of 9 months and he STILL wasnt over his ex? Is there no hope he will ever text me down the line? He didn’t even apologize properly, just said it isn’t fair to me.
  15. I know, and he didn’t seem like the kind of guy to be intentionally leading someone on, he honestly probably thought he should date someone, met me and we were a really good match. So he jumped into something he wasn’t ready for. But the way he broke it off...I understand he’s not over his ex but would you let someone you can potentially have a great relationship go even though you’re not over your ex? Like, it makes me wonder if he will ever get in touch again once he’s had time to process his feelings. Im just trying to understand his thought process I guess.
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