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SavviMammi666

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  1. This is a general reply to everyone's comments. I'm just gonna clarify some things because y'all are making your own conclusions as well as misinterpreting things that I only wrote to put some perspective on the issue. The mention and thought of children stems from the fact that we both want them, spent lots of time taking care of them, and almost had one of our own. No, I wasn't aware that the sister had disliked me so much when I moved in. When I first moved in she stated that upon our first interaction she thought I was rude (I was helping them move into the house we live in now, something I wasn't obligated to do). It wasn't until a little bit later that she started acting like a complete bitch. No, my boyfriend isn't obligated to act like her father but if she needs emotional support he's going to give it to her and that's that. No, I don't mind that fact. No, I don't just want her out of our hair, I want her mom to teach her the right way to act since I'm "not allowed" to. If loving children like they're my own is "unhealthy" then I must be. I have countless friends with kids and have dated men with children and I've never had an issue like this because I was unafraid to parent and/or correct them. That's what I meant by treating them as my own. No, I'm not gonna move back home or get another boyfriend. I'm not a "guest" in their house, I pay bills, I'm on the lease, so it's also my house. I helped them move in, and a few months later I decided to move in as well. As I've said, the sister has calmed down and is no longer an issue. Her daughter is not an issue. My issue is my feelings which I what I need help with, how to get over them instead of bottling them up or making a big deal about them. Also, I don't appreciate the comments about "you two aren't even married or engaged"... We don't have to get married or engaged and we don't want to lol it's a piece of paper y'all. Since, clearly, opinions are completely divided and nobody has offered any advice of much worth I won't be responding any further. Thanks for those of you who were actually helpful, have a good one.
  2. Honestly, if we could adopt her I would be totally down but I doubt her parents would allow it and would probably put strain on my boyfriend and his brother's relationship, which I definitely don't want because they have a very close bond and I find it adorable.
  3. @catfeeder Honestly, I was unaware that she didn't like me until then. When my boyfriend and I first got together she told me that when we first met she thought I was very rude. I was helping them move because his mom is friends with my step-dad, basically she said while carrying a box to the car I'd bumped into her and didn't say sorry or anything. I don't remember this occurance and she's known for exaggerating. Once I moved in she complained about almost everything I did, especially if it involved her daughter. She, thankfully, has stopped causing drama since the day before Thanksgiving. But there have been multiple times where she was profoundly rude to me including letting me know (very loudly, on our front porch, no less) that she had a problem with me, the way i was raised and how I live my life.
  4. @boltnrun We, simply, just don't have enough money yet. We pay a large portion of our money to live here (a very long and unfair story), he is getting a higher paying job next week. We have to buy a car before moving into an apartment.
  5. @Andrina We've been together a year and I've been living here almost 6 months, we plan to move out once we've saved up a bit (we're buying a car first). Then we plan on having kids as we both want a family of our own. He loves kids, especially his niece and I have absolutely no problem with his affection for her, I just wish that he showed the same for me. Maybe he's tired from giving her attention constantly, because she is with us all day. I feel like moving out is the only way for me to solve this problem, I guess I just needed a rant to hold me over until then.
  6. @abitbroken Her dad is around, he works until 1 am which is when she winds up going to sleep. Honestly it's just bad parenting on their part which led to her horrible attitude. I know she's a child and she doesn't know any better but jeez, I can't wait to move out.
  7. @abitbroken I'm not going to move out as I very much love my boyfriend, we're working towards getting our own apartment but this is where I'm at in the meantime. We don't shower with her, just me an my boyfriend shower together... I don't see how that's weird, we're conserving water.
  8. @boltnrun it's something we're currently working on, the problem will be solved by then. I can handle the jealousy most of the time but when I'm ready for bed an he won't take her to her own bed, I find it frustrating. Especially since I'm not allowed to go in their room.
  9. @MissCanuck Before I moved in she primarily slept in his bed as I understand it. Her mom is frequently very rude to her and her dad seems to just tolerate her. It's been told to me that they're only together because they had her. She's very clingy and dependent and it's not hard to see why. I don't think our values are that different, as I said, I love this kid too. I'm mostly having trouble with feeling like I'm left out of the family because the sister-in-law barely wants me to interact with her daughter.
  10. I feel crazy posting this to the internet but I need some advice so, what the hell. Sorry it's so long lol My boyfriend has lived with his family for years, including his 3 yr. old niece; who is just about his favourite person in the world. I moved in with them about 5 months ago, until that point he had such a strong relationship with his niece that they slept in the same bed. Now, I love children, I claim everyone's kid as my own regardless of whether I know them or not. However, from the point I moved in, my boyfriend's sister-in-law made it abundantly clear that she didn't like me and, in turn, didn't want her daughter to like me. This has changed somewhat over the past few months to the point where his niece is now obsessed with both of us, and follows me around just like she'd been doing to him for years. I know that ocassionally he gets jealous thinking that she loves me more than him, but I get jealous that he loves her more than me... or would love her more than our future children. I will admit, I'm a very needy and affectionate person; my bf knows this and he makes me feel loved almost 100% of the time, but sometimes when his niece is around he shows an utter disregard for me. Just an example: yesterday night we had a shower and then got in bed, his niece comes and climbs into our bed, my boyfriend starts to fall asleep.. I'm weird with sleeping and he knows that, I have to have the lights off and usually the tv on, cuddled up with him. She's in between us so I gently said "Babe, if you're tired then let's go to bed." He half-heartedly asked her if she was ready for bed, she didn't answer and he continued snoozing. I nudged him again and told him that I was ready for bed too, so he moved his niece from in between us and laid back down, thinking she was annoying me. It's basically just the fact that she's a toddler and gets to do whatever she wants, she's spoiled to death ; seriously, she cries if you tell her "no." She constantly wants mine or my boyfriend's phone, using it until it dies, or she wants to watch cartoons on our t.v. or draw in my notebooks. Basically she wants to be the center of attention in everything, and I have no freedom to do anything because I feel rude asking my boyfriend to get her out of the room so I can change clothes or go to bed. Also I forgot to mention earlier an don't know where to put it now, but he always holds her, plays with her hair and calls her cute names. He explicitly said to me "I'll love ours just as much," which bothers me because I feel like his niece and his daughter shouldn't be in comparisson. I wonder if our daughter will end up feeling the same way that I do or if he'll act the same with our daughter but still not me. Perhaps it's just that he knows that I know he loves me, regardless of the attention he gives me while a child wouldn't understand that. Not sure if y'all can offer me any advice or if this was just a large rant, but... Thanks, either way.
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