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elliecake34

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  1. Wow. I'm sorry that you had to experience it too. My ''friend'' says she misses me too. And my conclusion was same, she misses favors I would do for her more then she misses me for me. Yeah and she would say stuff that are real condescending, but truth is, she would compliment me too. The way she puts it, is like ''I'm always honest no matter what, I tell people what I think''. But in my opinion being honest is different then being condescending. Like her honesty is never constructive criticism it's always like making fun of me kinda way.
  2. It’s true that she hasn’t been a good friend and l was tolerating this for too long. The reason why l didn’t cut her off long time ago is because of this - l was quite lonely when l moved to a this city with no friends and stressful job. When she moved here (a year after me) l finally had someone to hang out with, go out, meet people. We’re both single. And she comes from my hometown so l felt a bit safer having her around. Like she had that “familiarity” about her that l needed in a new place. But nothing is worth sacrificing my peace. I realized it now that l’m not around her (l’ve been away for a month) how much better l feel. She texted me and called day before yesterday, and since l haven’t replied / answered she wrote me whole freaking novel about something she’s stressed about that is such a minuscule problem- So draining just reading it. Anyway, l will continue put that distance from her. Thank you all for the advice. I needed to hear this.
  3. Thank you!! Absolutely all of this. I never heard of the term “energy vampire” before but looking it up now- it describes her completely. there are so many things about her that l forgot to mention that always made me uncomfortable, but l used to brush it aside. Like for example, she keeps saying she helps people a lot, but l never seen her help anyone especially not me. I did too many favors for her. When she moved here, and stayed at my place, she kinda complained about the fact l don't have a car(because if l did, l know she’d use me to take her places) the fact she pays a lot for her Uber when we meet up. And when we’re out in a restaurant she is really rude to waiters. Lol just writing all this makes me realize just how many things frustrate me about her.
  4. Yeah l’m starting to, she can be really sensitive and has reactions to everything and it’s emotionally draining for me to listen.
  5. Yes but l stopped being responsive. Then she would be like “whenever l need someone to talk to, nobody has time for me” poor me, and “ l’m going through hard times and everyone is aways too busy, l don’t have any real friends” referring to me because that was period when l started ignoring her calls. Even though l listened and listened to this girl for hours when she’s going through her definition of “hard time” . It’s not really like something “bad” happened to her, it’s basic complaining and venting about stuff like dating problems, job problems etc.
  6. She would call again, maybe two more times and then she would message me why l’m not answering. l would explain to her l’m at work or at yoga and then she would say call me it’s urgent. But it’s never really urgent. Lately since l work from home and haven’t been answering her calls at all - she’d text me before calling, asking if we can talk. And what time l’m available so she can call me
  7. I’m female in my 30s and have a friend who l knew for a while, but recently became close friends with. She moved to the city where l moved to ( we’re from the same hometown). Now, we’re both single in our early 30s, we have the exact same lifestyle, we love same things, travel, luxury clothes, both independent and work hard and both without boyfriend/ kids. The only difference is that l’m still close to my family(parents, siblings) while she doesn’t speak to hers. - And therefore she’s super clingy with me and wants to hang out/ talk all the time (and when she talks it’s all about her and her life 99 percent of the time). I love listening to her stories cause the way she tells them is so interesting and funny. But feeling like my life and my issues are “not so important”. Also what bothered me is that she would say a few condescending things about my job ( and that was a time she was staying at my apartment FOR FREE) and also when l took my braces off for example - she started laughing and said she doesn’t see any difference in my teeth (the difference is huge). She’s also asking for help about things she can figure out with basic google search. She called me while l was at work and left me two texts to call her urgently. I thought it was something really urgent, but the only thing she needed was to know what location to get tested for covid. And it’s always something similar. Now l like her, but l also don’t feel like talking to her all the time. And she expects me to pick up the phone whenever she calls, cause that’s what a good friend does. When l do pick up the phone, we talk for few hours minimum about her job, her problems, her guys...ugh. I say something about me and she quickly switches back to her. I don’t want to lose her as a friend. We sometimes have good time together and we’ve known each other since high school. We have lot of things in common and so many topics. But l really don’t wanna be talking all the time and l feel like l keep finding excuses to not speak with her. How do l set boundaries but still stay a good friend?
  8. Yeah l was only reading into it a bit much because it’s the first time in a while l actually liked someone and l got a bit excited. Also this year has been weird and depressing for me and l needed a little bit of positivity. Oh well. You’re right who knows what he’s going through. I still don’t think l’ll text him again
  9. Yeah that makes sense, if l could go back in time l’d do just that
  10. Ok so l went ahead and sent him a text with a picture of snowy scenery where l am last Tuesday and he replied on Wed saying oh how nice, and asking when l’ll be back. I was happy to see that. However once l responded, l asked him about how is he and how his apartment renovation is progressing, he responded nothing. (on WhatsApp- Left on seen) That was a week ago almost. A bit rude IMO. What do you think?
  11. Thank you l guess l’ll quickly send him a text with holiday wishes and will go from there. Yes he knows l’ll be away. I definitely don’t expect for him to be “on hold” for me.
  12. A week ago I went out on a date with this guy l met through a mutual friend, after a long time of being either single, or having feelings for someone that doesn’t like me back, or the other way around - l finally felt like for once, it was mutual. He was a bit nervous on a date and so was l after l saw him, was reminded of just how cute/ funny he is (I was that nervous that my throat became dry and l almost choked on a piece of food during our dinner) ..it was overall really nice date he seems super cool, he asked alot of questions about me, we laughed etc. date was short- hour and half and he walked me home afterwards even though it was very cold. He sent a message right away that he had a good time and he hopes to see me soon..I responded with the same and then our communication stopped. I was leaving next day for a month long trip ( that l’m still on) and l don’t know if l should text him something or wait until l return.. l haven’t heard from him at all but l know l have nothing to expect, it’s one date and we’re not in a relationship and l’m away.at the same time l like him and l don’t want him to forget all about me... I also don’t wanna seem too needy lol. What do l do?
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