Jonafon

finewhine, I understand what your saying but it wasn't like I said to her "do you love me?" or anything, I was basically saying if she doesn't wanna meet up dont tell me she will then cancel. Besides, surely is she wants to get to know me, meeting up with me would be best way to do this?

I called her again and we arranged another 'meet up', then I told her to stop messing me around and if she wasn't interested and to just say no. Then after a quite lengthy pause, (probably to laugh at me with her mate or something) she replied something about seeing someone else or something at the moment. Glad its over, nothing gained nothing lost, but I don't like the fact shes blatantly lieing to me. TBH I think its kinda cruel how she wouldn't of 'rejected' and was happy to keep me wondering.

Thanks for your input, and does seem to make sense. To be honest, I guess it might not seem that obvious that I like her, because of my laid back attitude towards her (for example if I was into her surely I would go no matter what, she may think) and generally I have been a bit of nasty person and kinda flirted with other women at work while shes been around and kind of don't flirt back with her at times, but this is becase i'm a little intimidated and so my naturally flirty personality turns into a more sophisticated personality around her. She may see this as me not being into her, but really im just a bit odd I guess - flirting with girls, then when I properly like them I feel too intimidated. So yeah, I could see that she may not think i'm that into her, and maybe trying to use her. For example, me texting telling her I was free for a drink the next day may come off as a bit 'I don't really care but if you like me i'll get with you' kind of attitude. Or indeed she may just not like me (maybe she grew tired of me stopping flirting) or something else. But yeah thanks to your advice, i'll give her a call tomorrow, and try to sound really sorry etc, and that I really want to go for a drink with her etc. Thank you.

I really believed this girl was into me, so I arranged to meet up with her if I went to this party she was going to. I told her I probably wouldn't be able to go, but she told me to text her anyway later on to tell her what I was doing, and that next time we should arrange things more in advance. All seemed good tbh, and I felt I was onto a winner, what with all the signs and stuff she did in the past to show me she was interested, and her willing response to meet up with me at the party, or indeed another time. However, I texted her saying I couldn't make it, but I was free the next day (today) if she wanted to go for a drink. She didn't reply last night, and she still hasn't replied, and its almost the afternoon. Normally if a girl doesn't reply i'd take it as her not being interested, but it just doesn't make sense for her to show so much interest then just not speak to me. I will see her at work soon, so you know, I would of thought she would tell me shes not interested, rather than leaving it like this knowing I will be working with her. What do you think of this situation? What do I do next?

OK I texted her saying I couldnt make it but asked if she wants to go for a drink another time. She hasn't got in contact with me back, so I persume its bad news...

cheatin - email is very unpersonal and can be used as blackmail against you, so I dont use this. But yeah, I invited her to the party, but she said she had to go to this gig, and she would of cancelled but cant because she planned it with her mates for ages and cant cancel at last min, so I said if im in the area at the time i'll join her, and we swapped numbers etc, and she told me to text her even if I don't join her. She also said next time to give her more advanced notice. Thing is, I probably wont be able to join her at the gig, so i'll probably text her and ask her if she wants to go for a drink some other time, which tbh will be some time away because im going on holiday. I don't know if she thinks im just being friendly or if im hitting on her though, so this concerns me a little... do you think she would of got the message?

Thanks for the replies. I have decided unless I betray myself and chicken out, i'll go in and ask her. I'll tell her my mates are going out to celebrate something, and then i'll ask her if she wants to come for a drink with me, but if she doesn't i'll word it so it looks like I will still be celebrating. thanks.

Hey, theres this girl at work im thinking of asking out for a drink etc. Thing is, i wont actually see her in work for weeks. I think she likes me, but im obviously not 100% sure. If I do ask her out, I will have to go into work and just ask her. This seems really embaressing/awkward though, and maybe a little creepy that i'd go all the way to work and walk through the building just to ask this girl out. I'll look like a total idiot. The only other alternatives are to wait/hope we meet again, or I get one of her friends to ask her for me, which is a bit childish... But yeah, do I play it safe and wait for a more appropriate time, or do it dramatically like this? Thanks.

BBasically, I have no way of seeing this girl now until the boss next calls me in, and even then the boss will be there, along with others, when I ask her out. What i'm thinking of doing is making some kind of joke and then slipping the question in. Or alternatively, hope I see her outside of work (we know where we both live so I could 'stalk' around her area all day). And by get with, I mean hook up. You know like go on a few dates, see how things go.

Sorry I didn't explain very well. I know the best way to find out is to ask, but the chance wont come along for a while maybe, but in the mean time, I could get with this other girl. Sorry.

Hey, I know people ask this all the time, but i need advice! Sorry! So yeah, I've known this girl for a short while now, and we've chatted etc a few times and we have a good vibe between us, but I don't know if she's being friendly or not... Heres some points: Pro: We are friendly to each other, like always say 'Hi' and stuff. Con: She does that to most people, and it would be weird to be mean. Pro: She and her friend chat infront of me about her not having a boyfriend and men troubles. Possibly could be way of reminding me shes single. Con: She sounds like she has gone off boys maybe? Or maybe she doesn't see me as a 'threat' like girls do with gay guy mates. Pro: One time 4 of us (me, her, her friend, my friend) went out, and I overheard the girls talking about how they had to look nice to match 'him' because 'he' is so good looking, and that (my friend) was not bad either. Con: The guy could of been anyone, but could of been me. I know it wasn't my friend because they mentioned him by name after. Also even if it was me, it wasn't so much saying in the context that they were trying to 'impress' 'him', but more as to look as good as 'him' especially as girls normally are suppossed to be better looking than guys. Also they could be joking. Pro: We often exchange glances and smiles, especially while walking towards each other, or accross the room. Con: This could be just friendly, and maybe even a silent joke between us. Either way its not normal because we don't do it to other people. Pro: We often get close, like standing in personal space etc for extended periods of time, where normally you would back off a bit to give a bit of space. Con: Could be just nothing really. Pro: She seems to talk a little goofy around me. Con: I don't know if she is just generally goofy or what. But the real problem is, she is so attractive AND smart. I just find it weird she would bother with me when im sure loads of guys hit on her. Also it would seem a little odd to just ask her out, unless we were hanging around socially or at a party or something. My question is, am I seeing something that isnt there? Or should I move on? Baring in mind, this other girl I know is trying to get with me but i'm holding her off because I want to know if I have a chance with the girl in this post... Thank you.

It's funny how when you see 2 people flirting you can tell they are flirting, but they might not realise they are.

Phoned her today I told her I phoned because I was surprised at how she said she would miss me so much, so I phoned to give her my email and telelphone number. We swapped numbers and email, and she seemed very keen to stay in contact with me, and I asked if she had a busy few days before she leaves, and said she did, like packing bags etc. I said that was a shame, because I would of liked to hang out with her, and she said not to worry because she can come back in a few weeks to visit, and we can chat over messenger. Basically, thats how it ends... as friends. To be honest, I didn't tell her I liked her, but I thought theres no point seeing as she said she couldn't hang out with me before she leaves (if she liked me I think she may of made time). Still a good chance we could chat online and she could come back to visit, like she said she wanted to, but I think it's best to move on, and I highly doubt I could woo here over messenger... I plan on telling her best friend in a jokey way that I asked her out and she rejected me, but atleast I could settle for being friends with her. I know this isn't strictly true, but I did indirectly by asking her to hang out. Then hopefully her best friend will get back to her like "I heard Jonafon asked you out?", and then she may be like "oh I didn't realise he was asking me out!", and then she may get back to me... long shot I know, and I will suffer some embaressment, but I don't care. Thanks for your help everyone, and i'm kinda sure I have missed out on something that could of been fun... well atleast friendship lasts longer.

Sorry, I dont think I made things clear, i'll sum up... I'm probably never going to see her again, shes moving state soon. I don't have her number, but I can get it probably. She has a long-distance BF (who shes seen only a few times), and I dunno, she may love him... I can't see how this relationship will last... seeing as she is moving even further away... I think now that Kitz suggestion sounds like it would fit - she tried to make a move a while back, and I rejected her, so she was embarrassed. She isn't a shy person... I think looking back now, if she has been making the moves, she has made all of them, and I have made none... If I phone her up, I wouldn't know what to say... I can't exactly plan a date for next week, seeing as she is moving states, it would have to be a next few days date... I really hope I see her around tomorrow or the next day... I asked if she was going to a party on wed, but she said no... Hmmm I could get her number and phone her up tomorrow and ask her for a date or something, I would look such an idiot if she wasn't interested though... I supposse I could say something about just hanging out before she goes... I'll see what happens. Also, the kissing thing. Do you guys think this was a sure sign she probably likes me? And should I of kissed her back, like perhaps on the lips (I didn't actually do anything, because she was kissing me so my mouth couldn't reach). Would a girl kiss someone then drag them back and kiss them again if they wern't interested?

Things have just got weird... At the end of school prom I decided to make a move, and just say hello etc before I left. However, things didn't go as planned... Basically I approached her and said I was going to go soon, and then we said we wouldn't probably ever see each other again, and then she was like "I'm going to really miss you so much! Your so sweet! (I think she said sweet...)" and kissed me on the cheek. I can't remember exactly what happened, but I remember thinking that I was planning on giving her the good bye kiss/speach, not the other way around, and I thought it was a bit weird how she said she was going to miss me so much, when as I said before, she's shy around me at school etc, and you would think a speach/kiss like that would be something two friends shared... In fact she was the only person the whole night that really got 'emotional' about it. As I was just moving away from her, thinking "we've talked, i'll never see her again, end of story", she grabbed my arm, and pulled me back to her, turned me around and repeatedly kissed me again on the cheek/side of neck by the ear, but this time for about 7 seconds. Then my lift called me, and told me I had to leave. I dunno what to make of this, but Kitz suggestion probably does make it seem understandable now. The first kiss could easily be written off as nothing more than a good bye kiss, but the second time, I dunno. I phoned a friend up later in the night and told him to give her my number (I was thinking about her saying she would miss me) or email address. However, aparantly she was drunk by that time of night... I don't know what to think, but I know I should probably move on now, but if I see her again somehow, I dunno what to do now. Thanks. P.S. Please tell me if it sounds like I should get her number of someone and phone her up. P.P.S. I'm told after the initial party which was in my first post (which happened a few months ago), she aparantly met some guy at a concert... but he lives in another state, and well... they never see each other, and I think they only just met at this concert and swapped telephone numbers... I don't see how this relationship would last TBH. P.P.P.S. I don't mind not doing anything, but i'll probably regret it...