bigred3

no i understand completley where you are coming form boricua, all my mates tell me to "f*&^ her" and "she's stupid for breaking up with you" but I don't think they understand, i know her aswell as anybody else in this life and i know right now for some reason she is going through something i can't help her with. As i said before i was never ever ever angry at her for the breakup and will never ever hate her for what has happpened. We are also not the people just to become sex buddies i know both of us respect each other way more then that. And for her to accept my invation to the movies made me very happy not because i thought i could wooo her or change her mind in one night but the fact that i know she still wants to have me in her life(as friend right now...) is defintely something i can take a postive from. I know i keep repeating this and it's not because im blind only to love right now, but i can see it in her eyes and the way she looks at me that there is still something there for me. you jsut don't go from something to nothing in the matter of days.... espically where both of us respected each otehr trust each other and nobody had cheated on each other etc........ so i will defintely contiunie to be her friend as much as i can but i also know that i can only do some much with her... and that i must also look out for myself, but she is also not a selfish person and she would never take advanate of me for her own personal development..... lol i think that is why i love her so much she is so kind and caring thanks for words boricua and best of luck with you aswell

i hear you mate, this break up came out of the blue for me i thought everything was going okay..... it really puts a damper on your self confidence, i really never thought that breaking up was ever gonna be this hard, the pain you feel, i don't think can ever be duplicated.

My girlfirend of 6 years broke up with me a little over 2 months ago. In this time we had to go on a trip together(we had been broken up for about 2 weeks and the trip was booked since april so we had to go...) anyways i handled the trip very well and mature and so did she. Anyways when i got home i decided it was my best interest to kind of stay away from here and see if maybe me not being around would make her feel like she missed me.... Anyways the funny thing about the break-up was that nobody was really mad at the other person, although i do not agree with it , i for one will never call her names or think down on her for what she has done. We recently began talking abit more again online, nothing about our relationship just normal conversation, i decided that i would ask her to a movie.... so she said sure she would like to go to a movie with me she said if there is one thing i miss right now it's doing stuff with you... and she says she would still be in phone communcation with me if she thought that i could handle it, she said she wanted to give me time cause she knows how much she hurt me. anyways the movie went really well we wehre just ourselves like if we had of been still going out, joking with each other etc..., after the movie we where gonna meet some mutual mates of ours to play some pool. on the way there she asked me "do you agree with me that it was a good decision to break up?" and i replied back "honest no i don't think it was, but i can't change your feelings..." , we kind of got off topic after that... later on as we where driving she asked me if there was "any good looking girls in my university classes" and i said "well i guess i haven't really noticed to be honest" and she said to me "so you haven't met anyone since the break up" and i said "no, noone speical" and she said "that is the same as me i haven't met anyone since the break up" then she goes onto say "I thnk you'll find a girl this year" ....... before i got to asking her why she thought her cellphone rang and we got off of topic again.......... anyways when we where out playing pool it was again like everything seemed right, we just have great times together when we are out etc... when we where leaving with our mates she says to me "it's been a swell time tonight i must say, maybe we can do this every so often..." , i kind of nodded but never said yes mainly because i dont wannt commit myself to my ex for doing stuff if we are not gonna get back together..... She told me that for now she is happy being single, it's not that she wants to see other people it's the fact that we have been together so long it almost feels like she has forgotten what it feels like ( we wehre 16 and 17, when we got together)........ she also believes that we have become friends more then anything, but my thinking on that is of course we are gonna become very close friends we have been going out for 6 years, i thought a relationship turns into your best friend? that is something i dont' understand. She also says to me you have done nothing wrong to me ever in our time together and i will always have high prasies for you as a boyfriend and a friend etc.... any girl that would get you , would be so lucky. But how is that possible if im so great, then why couldn't i keep my gf of 6 years anyways for me personally it's not about meeting new people it' not about having one night stands or getitng involved in meaningless relatioships which you know aren't gonna last. A few weeks before we broke up we still had the same dreams and goals in life be finished school in 2 years, both wanted marriage and a big family even had boys and girls names picked out that we liked if and when we where gonna have children.... I mean i honestly don't know what to do.. im far from the point of sucidial or thinking life is not worth living, but i truly feel a part of me has died since we hae been broken up, and i now deep down that she cares for me because wether she wants to believe it or not i could see it in her eyes last night when we at theaters and playing pool she remembered what we had, but at this point is too "stubborn or hard headed" to admit it. I'm not even sure what im lookig for you guys to write back to me and say, if anything writing things out like this helps somewhat ease the pain as i try and stay postive. (as i write this tho i have to admit tears stream down my face) thanks for taking the time to listen to this i really appericate it.

LOL you make a point there lol , yeah i might do it tomorrow lol , we will see how my nerves are tomorrow haahaha

yeah true it's not really rejection im fearing it's when is the best time to ask , i mean i have no idea if she has a bf or seeing someone and if she does good for her, but do you think when i email back tomorrow i should ask her ?

Well this could get long but i will tell the story as best as i can.... I have gone to school with this girl from K-12 and some of university.. although we where never totally close i would never consider us enemies or feel we have never called each other losers etc.... Anyways i have serisouly had a crush on this girl since grade 7 and in grade 9 i know for a fact that she liked me and she was gonna ask me out but stuff happened and it never really materilized. When High School came everybdoy from our k - 9 school started hanging out with different groups and we really lost touch with one another after that. Anyways a few years back i had her on my icq list and one night that i was drunk i told her how much i liked her , she used one of them blushing things from icq (ha i was so embrassed the next morning lol). Anyways a few days after that i get someone trying to add me to their list it ended up being one of her friends from work, she just asked me some radnom stuff **at this time i did have a gf which made me feel even more embrassed that i said it to her in the first place** and the person who added me on her list who knew i had gf asked me if i would ever cheat on my gf and all that kind of stuff **of course i said no i would never cheat on her blah blah blah** and from there i think we kind of lost touch again (maybe by me telling her how much i liked her, she thought i wanted to maybe go on a date i still feel bad now about that mabye i lead her on when i was drunk) So anyways last year i emailed her really just to see what she was upto and how she was doing, i got a reply from her telling me how she was and all that stuff and she asked me how she was doing. Me being the idoit forgot to reply to her email(cause i dont use my yahoo account much). So anyways about a week ago i go into my yahoo account ot see if there is a email from a soccer friend when i see her reply in my box, it struck me i haven't emailed her back its been over a year im a idoit. So i emailed her back saying i was sorry for what had happened and i answered her general questions that was on the first email and followed up with some of my own questions on the new email for her. She emailed me back tonight and told me again how she was and what she's upto .. she also asks me a question in the email. So now im at the point where i know she wants me to email her back because she has asked me another question, also she must have wanted to talk to me in the first place or she would have never answered my first email. I mean the city i live in is not that big, but i haven't bumped into her around town in a long time so she could kept "avoiding" me in a sense... This is where i need help should i just reply back to her email and tell her how my summer and my job sitution is going(she asked me this in the replied email i got tonight) or should i further this email by maybe asking her if she would like to go out for a dinner or a movie sometime kind of thing, i just gout out a long realtionship and ahahaha not use to the dating scene , so any help on this matter would be great , i can take rejection from her if that is what it's gonna be but just dont know what to do next... thanks biged3 thanks for taking the time to read this!!!

yeah i heard you "DN" i just find it weird right now , because its not like eitehr us have cheated on each other , or lied about something or never respected each other. I was talking to her sister yesterday and she says that my ex is still upset everyday about it and hardly eats or anything. She also said that my ex told her it's the hardest thing she has done. I don't believe the problem is that she doesn't love me(i know people are gonna think that maybe , you are too still in love to see, but but believe me it's there) I also believe that I have been in school since Janurary to now june full time, She tooks winter semester and summer semster off she has had alot and alot more time to do stuff without me. I mean i go to school 8:30 - 4:30 everyday i have to study etc.... she only has a part time job so i mean the past little while she has been staying out later and sleeping in when i usually would see her. and maybe this is another problem we have spent so much time apart these past few months that she feels she dosn't need me right now. I think sooner then later she is gonna realize that "single" life is not all that its cracked up to be and will see that she need someone in her life. It's a crazy situation to be in , i wish you guys knew us in real life , i think you would be as shocked as the many people who are finding out are now. I told her that if i gotta keep strong for the both of us right now , then although it's alot of weight on my shoulders i'm willling to do it because i know we belong together

Hi, guys i hope someone of you remember my problem i had with my girlfriend and how she doesn't know how she feels for me after 6 years and needs time kind of thing.... i just wanna let you know what has been happening this past week so this could get long but i think i need some people like you to read it and help me out. Anyways as of today we have been "broken up" for a week i think on wednesday of this past week we agreed that we would go out to the shops to do some father day shopping, which was great because when we where together it was like nothing had happeend to us. After this i really wanted to invite her in to my house and get a better idea of why we broke up (i think the night she said it to me i was in so shock i really can't remember much about it). She came in and told me she is not sure how she feels right now , she feels like we have grown more into best friends then boyfriend and girlfriend (i thought after 6 years we would be bestfriends anyways ....) and after she also said that we where each others first real boyfriend and girlfriend and it's not that there is anybody else she just feels like maybe she is not sure what she is missing being single in a way. I take it almost as she is having a mini mid life crisis is a way because she knows we both have 2 years of school left and we really talked about marriage and kids and being together. When she left my house we hugged 2 times , the 2nd time we hugged she looked directly in my eyes like the first time that we kissed , i can see it in her that she wants to be with me but something is holding her heart back right now. Last night i knew she was going to watch a movie with another guy ( i know this sounds bad but believe me when i say nothing would ever happen between him because he has no time for dating and he is not the guy for a one night thing neither is my girl, and i trust her when she says that she would never be with him , it also made me feel good that she never lied where she was going last night because she could have easily said she was going out with girlfriends , i also want to point out that she invited her friends over and im sure that they went over ...) Also since the break up it's not like we haven't talked , we talk to each other i think atleast twice a day. And both of us are taking the time to call each other so it's not like it's one of us always making the push to call the other one. This is what i don't understand she says she doesn't want to be with me and she needs time but yet we are talking alot , I really truly feel that we will get back togetherand to me time is hard to cope with because there is no real defintion on how long time lasts. She in a way is a proud girl , i wonder sometimes if maybe she didn't mean to take it so far as a break up and now is too proud to take me back so fast cause how would she look to other people.... anyways i can't see myself not calling or she calling me, we have been together for 6 years and all tho im a little sad and she is sad i dont want this break up to end bitter, Alot of people have been telling me your lucky she still calls you and wants to see you , there is a still a chance she will see why you guys lasted so long. i truly hope this is true thanks for your time as always bigred3 p.s. sorry for puncation and all that stuff , right now i can't be done

i'm still gutted, i can't eat , can't sleep never knew it was gonna be this hard to honest

it's weird i guess because im not the one with the "problem" right now she obivously needs some time to think things over, and im assuming she will let me know how she stands when she does her searching. I actaully feel kind of better now that i posted her at first i said nah these people dont wanna hear my petty problems , but u guys have been great so far, thanks

yeah you are right i should keep minmal contact with outside friends on this subject. and your also right i should try and take a step back from knowing how she feels. i guess one of the hardest parts to take is if she comes back and says we are better off friends. Then im gonna feel like crap because eventually she will be with another guy , and i will be thinking what is this guy giving to her that i never gave her or maybei could have gave her if i have known. she is such a sweet girl and to be honest if we can't be together(as much as i really hate to say this) i'd rather try and be her friend then having nothing at all

i think our relationship has always been open to talking about our feelings. Although this is a tough time for both of us, she has openly communicated with me as much as she can. From what i dont get from here i get from our friend michele (im sure she would tell me , only that i if talk to michele first then there is no point in aksing unless she wants to bring it up) i still feel we have a chance because she never techincally ended it she kind of said i need to think things over, and she is still being very nice to me telling me to try and concetrate on my exams while we go through this etc.... As i type this right now i do feel sad about the fact i never seen her today or only talked to her once today, and usually tuesday nights we do something together. In our six years together not once have either of us cheated with another person, we have always treated each other we respected , trusted each other, and loved each other. it's just hard for me to cope with this now because at this moment not only do i feel i'm losing my my true love but it feels like im losing mybest friend while she decides on the situation.(i mean at this moment its kind of akward to talk on the phone because we are both emotional about the situation )

i think personally we are on a break , while she thinks things over , if im talkign to her tonight or tomorrow i will try and ask the question...

yeah she said to me do you feel like by being in a relationship you are missing out on things, dont you ever wonder what it would be like to be with someone else (this is not a direct quote this what i can remember it's probaly fragmented)... i told her of course i look at other women and think about what it would be like, but it's not the same feeling as i get with being with you. i know for a fact that there is not another guy in her life or does she really wanna see other guys at the moment she has told me this and i like always i trust her on this topic. its just really hard for me to understand, from one minute talking about marriage and kids(well we talk but dont worry was not happening in the near future we both got 2 years left of school).. too going from i dont know i i feel the same way about you, it really hurts me , i think if we do break up it will be a long time before i can trust someone again cause this pain is too much

yes we have a trip booked together with another friend we leave in 2 weeks time , my "gf" right now says we should go it could be good for us, so i'm really taking that atleast as a postive.

no we don't live together and to me this defintely came out of the blue because personally i dont remember us having problems , im gonnna copy a msn log i had with our friend about it , to see if you guys can pick some stuff out ..... Michele... says: i"m not sure what to tell you, it's nothing you did wrong, she has wondered for a while why you guys were together, if she was just confortable, and I guess it took getting out a bit to realize that she would be ok Michele... says: Don't think this isn't hurting her, it is killing her too, she really wants to at least be friends, if nothing else is possible, and she feel aweful because she thinks she is abandoning you Michele... says: She just has a lot of feeling she needs to sort through Steve says: do you think it's over for good? Steve says: or could we work out our problems Steve says: because i can't see myself not with here, i think it's gonna kill me Michele... says: I'm not sure if it's over for good, I can't really answer that, I was only talking to her briefly today, and at work Michele... says: It's not really a problem between you guys at all, but only being with one person from such a young age makes you have question, feeling change and you have to make sure it is what you want before it's too late really Steve says: so you think i should give her time and see what happens? Steve says: im not good with this stuff i really dont know what to do Michele... says: Yes Michele... says: I know, it's not easy, Mike and I were there remember Steve says: atleast u got back together Steve says: there is hope i guess Michele... says: She just needs some time, and you have to try and not to make her feel bad for doing the right think Michele... says: thing Michele... says: You may not think it is now, but its the right thing, the only fair thing to do for both of you Steve says: i dont want to make her upset , i just feel like i put 6 years into a relationship where everything was going okay we have talked about marriage a family etc... and now this hits me out of the blue , its like im in a bad dream Steve says: and now we have to go ottawa , how can i stay in a house with a person who i care so much about and want to be with and feel that she doesn't have the he same feelings Michele... says: I know how you feel, trust me, I was you in the situation a few years ago Michele... says: We did the same thing, and talked about the same things Steve says: so you really think this steams from the fact that she realizes she would be okay without me if we where to break up Michele... says: Who knows what will happen, it may work out, and if not, you will at least have a really good friend, that will know a lot of history about you Michele... says: That may be part of it, but she was thinking of this long before this, she says you talked about that before Steve says: well i guess all i can is keep the faith alive michele Michele... says: You know she still really cares about you, it is killing her to know that she is hurting you soo much Steve says: i know , it does hurt alot , more then i thought it ever would , these past few days i really understand what she meant to me , and now that i feel that i have lost her , it's gonna take along time to feel good again Michele... says: Yeah, I know, I didn't eat fora week, so I know, but it gets better, REALLY SORRY IF IT'S HARD TO READ

from what i can gather she needs time to think about things , i have told her in the past 2 days how i have felt, i have to leave it up to her i guess , i dont wanna get to pushy and i dont wanna guilt her into anything , im just really sad right now and wish she was here

After a six year relationship with my girl she tells me yesterday she is not sure she feels the same way i do about her. This took me for a total surprise because i thought everything was going great and we where having a good time. this is quoted from a friend on msn " It's not really a problem between you guys at all, but only being with one person from such a young age makes you have question, feeling change and you have to make sure it is what you want before it's too late really" (we have been together since we where 16-17 and really we where each others first real boyfriend/girlfriend) I really dont know what to do from here , i feel so sad that i can't eat, sleep or watch t.v. nothing really matters right now i mean this could be a phase we are going through and everything could be alright but if not the loss of her will be like taking half of my soul. im so confused please help bigred3