My husband and I have only been married since the New Year, together for about 3.
We recently made some new friends online during the quarantine, and he ended up bonding very closely with one of the girls over a common game interest. They literally spend hours in voice calls together whilst I'm at work (he's currently at college on 3 days a week so has a lot of free time) and if I ask what he's up to he'll say he's talking to her.
He invited her up for Halloween and a few days before that actually tried to bring up an old topic with me that we'd joked about before and suggested we ask her about a threesome with her whilst she was over. (And yes, it may be something we are open to in the future but key word being 'future', I'm not ready anytime soon for that). When I was clearly not up for it he was fine with that and had a discussion about how he loved me, I was enough for him, he didn't want to have sex with someone else and just suggested it as a 'what if' in case we wanted to fulfill a sexual fantasy that he thought I also wanted. It was during this that he commented that he still gets crushes on people, and just because he has a crush on this girl doesn't mean he doesn't love me.
He admitted having a crush on her so easily that it blindsided me. I know people can still get crushes when in relationships, its normal. But the fact he admitted it to me made me feel uneasy and I've felt uneasy ever since. He talks to her for hours on end, and jokes with her and it all just feels like he's flirting with her in the same way he flirted with me when we first met. If he hadn't mentioned having a crush I might have just said he's being friendly with her but his confession has tainted the way I see all his interactions with her.
He can argue it's just a harmless crush but at some point there's a boundary right? It feels like he's almost encouraging his crush rather than trying to take a step back and make sure he doesn't overstep.
I have no one to turn to for advice and I just feel like crap. I don't know how to bring it up to him without seeming like some jealous over-bearing wife. It hurts because I'm actually friends with the girl! I like her a lot and when she was over for Halloween I enjoyed my time with her.
But I just don't know how to bring it up to him that his actions are making me feel awful without seeming jealous for no reason.
Any advice would be useful please.