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polyamorous

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  1. Hi All again So.. I took a decision at the end. And Yes, I dragged it for several months more because I was unable to. And No, I am not addicted to drama - actually I hate drama. I was trying to make this decision since 2 years. I chose B; the mother of my baby. She was looking for something more serious and more commitment, tired of being always hidden in the dark just because she entered my life when I already had "A". This has been the most difficult decision I have ever taken. Having to tell "A" that it was not fair to continue our relationship, as I wouldn't be able to give her what she wanted (get married and build a family together) broke both her and my heart. So many memories together (6 years almost) and I got surprised to find myself crying (a lot) in the process of letting her go. Now I just need to wait.. wait that time will make both of us carry on with our lives, as I cannot afford to continue thinking about "A" at this point (cause I just lost her) and I need to be careful not to take the wrong decision to try to get her back. I have understood the importance of not letting multiple people get involved emotionally with yourself easily. Loving two girls has been a great complication for me over the years.
  2. Thank you for this reply and it looks kind on the spot. I have underlined a sentence in the quote because it is exactly true and I am amazed how you guessed so right. First of all, I understand that mine are not polyamorous relationships as they are only one-way - only from my side. Second, child support, stable environment etc.. this is not a problem, financial wise I can support them both if I want to (luckily) Third.. I agree I should be with B to provide a stable environment to the child etc.. and actually I also really want B and crave her presence.. Point to complicate this is that "A" is with me since I was basically just starting.. before I started my businesses that eventually became successful; she always helped me and watched my back while B came later on when I was already successful. Leaving "A" means also she's worked for nothing basically (even though she's learned a lot with me too), and I feel extremely guilty to leave her and break all her dreams to have a full functional family together. I am amazed to see how good she is to cope with all this, to accept everything completely renouncing to her pride, even telling me she can be a second mother to my child.. and I really do not understand why she's not leaving me.
  3. Thanks for the reply I have been living pretty much with both of them intermittently; but I never committed 100% to either one this is true. If i was outside the situation I would suggest to myself to be with "B" as that would make my relationship with the kid better and will make things easier and better for the kid also. I am not feeding them lies actually; I've been essentially very open with both of them I am not caring only about myself but I care each time how all three of them would feel about my actions. I really just do not know how "A" will handle the pain if I decide to end with her, and with "B"... Probably she will manage it and will be fine if I end with her but I just do not want to lose her..
  4. Hi All Here is me, Male, in my thirties… In a Polyamorous difficult situation. I have a girlfriend for about 5 years (will call her “A” for simplicity). We had kind of a break 3 years ago.. and I met another girl (let’s call her “B”) With “B” I basically fell in love but at the same time also went back to make peace with “A” For about a year I basically dated both of them.. until “B” got pregnant. Now I have a 1 year old child too. “A” knows everything about it.. and she accepted it.. and also accepted the child (but will never accept the mother) but she wants to get married now (after 5 years relationship) and also to make her permanence with me more valid, starting a family with me too. Even if “B” has been with me for shorter time.. I cannot stop thinking about her either. I am 100% sure I love them both, but both of them want exclusivity. “B” will find probably find another partner if I don’t commit properly to her and stop treating her as “hidden lover” - obviously she cannot cut me entirely as I’m still the father of the child “A” will probably leave me and cut all connections with me if I do not get married to her.. soon This is the most difficult decision I have been facing.. for long time now. Both women have their positive qualities, they are very different but they are both amazing. “A” is with me for long time (5 years); “B” has already an healthy and strong child with me.. “A” is the mother type; always supported me and looked after me. Been pretty much only with me in her life. “B” (slightly older than “A” but not really relevant) is the partner type; always had extreme fun together and doing everything with much more passion. She had been a playgirl in the past but she stopped it when she met me. She left everything to continue the pregnancy, and she gave up pretty much everything for our child (she had a great job that she had to leave) I have been trying to keep them both for another year now.. but I started realizing that doing this is making both of them suffer. I always find either one crying and I feel selfish to continue to do so. Obviously my dream would be to keep them both, and live happily ever after all together; having children with both of them.. but I guess this can only be a dream. Is there any hope I could try to convince them to accept each other? or how do I choose between them? This situation is draining my energies lately and even when I lean towards one of them.. eventually I pull back to the other..
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