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About AnneMarie9

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  1. Thank you guys for your input, it was very valuable and it helped me zoom out a bit and put things into perspective! @Rose Mosse: I accused him too of being manipulative considering how everything started between us, and how he still insists he wants a committed relationship with me (while entertaining thoughts of rekindling his romance with her). Sure, I could keep seeing him and taking it lightly, but at this point I already have expectations of where I would like things to go, so from now on, I'd only set myself up for disappointment and resentment...
  2. Pretty manipulative of him to disguise it as a committed relationship even now, but you're right, that's what it actually is.
  3. Yes, I agree. Best option in this case.
  4. Strangely enough, that's exactly what he told me yesterday. A belated heads-up, especially after agreeing to go steady with me, but surely something to pay attention to.
  5. That's a very good point you're making actually. When we started dating, I must've come across as rather casual and taking things lightly, which probably made me innocuous enough and a candidate for his "temporary" agenda. And as soon as it became more serious, his interest started dwindling and his attention shifted back to her. But yes, all in all, he'll treat me exactly the way I allow him to. And if I accept playing second fiddle, he'll most likely be happy to keep me around until he has no use for me anymore. Not really a good place to be in...
  6. The funny thing is he still claims to want a long-term committed relationship. While blatantly not emotionally available to sustain one. I guess that's either wishful thinking or just an elaborate, sophisticated way of attracting and keeping the little distraction he needs along the way. But I'm digressing... Overanalyzing his reasons won't help me much now.
  7. Funny you mentioned that! That's pretty much how it went with this woman when they were together. He was seeing her and another girl simultaneously at the time, and decided to drop her all of a sudden, only to regret it years down the line and convincing her to give it another go. Perhaps there's a pattern there...
  8. Thanks, MissCanuck! You're spot on about it! He had preemptively warned me about her right from the start, but rather painting a picture of them having ceased all communication, and not particularly eager to reconnect, at least not any time soon. And advertising himself as ready and emotionally available to start anew. Only to change that version to them being in contact monthly, then weekly, and now daily...
  9. Thanks, Wiseman! I just figured that deciding to be a couple and making that commitment (at least verbally) was a clear sign that he was prioritizing us. Apparently that wasn't quite the case. He seems to want the commitment and the exclusivity, while holding onto his fantasy (and onto the hope that it'd one day materialize).
  10. You're right! If he were indeed committed to us, he wouldn't even entertain the possibility of revisiting a past relationship, much less being so matter-of-factly about losing me in the process.
  11. Sherry, you're describing that moment so accurately! That's exactly what it felt like... Watching it all crumble before my eyes, knowing that wherever it was going from there, it'd never be as innocent and pure as before.
  12. I agree with you, at least from a logical standpoint. Everybody here seems to be coming to the same conclusion, so that should mean something. I can only hope I'm able to let it all sink in and do what needs to be done.
  13. Would it make sense to back off and give him the space and time he seems to be needing, while withdrawing the benefits of a relationship? Remaining in contact, but not going any deeper than the superficial interaction... While making it obvious that I’m keeping my options open and not attaching any more romantic hopes to it? I’m aware I’m most likely setting myself up for even more heartache, but I guess I’m finding it tough to let go completely.
  14. That’d be the healthiest thing to do, I wholeheartedly admit it, Sherry. But for some reason, I can’t help thinking that whatever he’s feeling for her is just an outworn and outdated fantasy he’d indulged in throughout the years to keep him going while things weren’t looking great for him and he was missing the companionship and the benefits of being in a stable relationship. But perhaps I’m wrong.
  15. Thank you guys for your answers! They’re all just as insightful and helpful as always (and, quite expectedly, echoing exactly what my closest friends had to say on the matter). I spent my day yesterday feeling too physically sick to be able to function properly and engaging in a back and forth texting with him where he basically reiterated that he’d never let go of the idea of the two of them together, which means that he can only see “us” as temporary, while adding in the same breath that he sees the long-term potential for us and is willing to pursue it (!). From what he’s told me, t
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