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Cee

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  1. My sons dad and I separated in January of this year and I moved out of his house in Feb. We had been together for 4 years. Initially things were good as most relationships are but then things went down hill. The majority of our issues were caused by my ex's mums behaviour. She was never accepting of me and it got worse and worse especially when she found out I was pregnant. Without going into too much detail she made it very clear I wasn't good enough for her son. I think alot of it stems from their relationship having issues. The way she treats him is awful and he's had a slightly strange upbringing by her. He's the eldest of 3 and the other 2 are treated very differently. They are spoilt and shown love and respect where as he's certainly been pushed aside. Her behaviour towards me got so bad by the end that I had to seek therapy and go on medication. My ex didn't know how to handle the situation and upon reflection his behaviour stems from his childhood and her behavior towards him. His approach has always been to ignore her as you can't ever speak to her about her behaviour without her flipping out. After she had told me she wouldn't have chosen me as the mother of her grandchild amongst many many other issues I decided I couldn't take it anymore. My ex was drinking alot I guess to deal with the divide that was happening and he was just hiding his head in the sand. Fast forward and he's now in therapy to resolve the issues from his childhood and the way his mum treats him. He says he can now see how he should have done more to set boundaries and that he wouldn't let her behave like that towards me. He says he wants to give thinhs another try. I am very clear on the fact I will never let his mum be in my life. I'm happy for my son to go and see her as long as she's not abusive to him of course but I won't allow someone to bully me. I guess I'm stuck as what to do. We spend time together as a family the 3 of us and we have such a wonderful time. I have a wall up still for sure due to there being so much hurt but on a whole we work well as a team. Do I give him another chance as long as we agree I don't need to have his mum in my life. He can go see his family with our son if he chooses but that I remain seperate. Is this sustainable? Has anyone been in a situation similar and they've managed to have a stress free life? Any help would be appreciated, thank you.
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