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Everything posted by rensilaer

  1. He's at least bi-curious, and there's nothing wrong with that. There is also nothing wrong with you not wanting to entertain a threesome. I agree that this is a fundamental incompatibility, and you two should work on transitioning your relationship to a friendship and move on.
  2. I would encourage you to simply ask her out. The worst she'll say is no. If you wait around forever looking for "signs", you'll be doing just that: waiting forever. Take a chance!
  3. I am so sorry this is happening to you. This seems like a very unfortunate power play on his part where he very clearly is communicating that he doesn't want to be with you right now, but he also doesn't want you to be with anyone else until he fully decides whether he wants to stay or leave. This is beyond selfish, controlling and unfair. Also, this isn't just some spur of the moment thing. He's clearly been planning this because no one gets a shared one-bedroom the very next day after a fight. He would have had to have been searching for this place for weeks, and then he just unloaded on you to set the stage for him to leave for this new place. If I were you, I would give him all the space he says he wants, and more. You deserve better than to have your heart played with like this. I hope this helps.
  4. I hear you on the disconnect that it feels like some people very much are acting and behaving at cross purposes in the interest in only the perception of their own freedoms. That has absolutely affected my general sense of wellness and optimism. I've sheltered at home since the end of February and have left my apartment less than a dozen times in total. I take this seriously. I would never want to get anyone sick or cause someone to lose someone they love if it's within my control. Working from home has been overall a net positive, but I find I work a LOT longer hours now and that's getting to be a little intense. I don't expect that to go on forever, though. Otherwise, I have little reason to complain. I can put a roof over my head. I know where my meals are coming from. I have my health. It could be so much worse.
  5. Hello, all. This isn't really a plea for advice, but more just checking in with everyone to see how you are handling one of the worst years in recent memory. How are you? How are you handling everything emotionally? How do you cope? Mostly, I just want people to know they aren't alone and that we're all in this together.
  6. Please leave this very toxic and damaging relationship immediately if not sooner. You do not deserve this. But, yes, as other posters have mentioned, you definitely should look into acknowledging and working through your codependency issues, so that you don't fall into this sort of situation next time. Good luck to you!
  7. It's always difficult from the outside looking in, because what you write shows two very broken but well-meaning people sort of dumping all over each other, but that doesn't take into account all the love and joy you brought to each other. I am sorry that it's gone this way, but given what you've written, I think you both need time to sort yourselves out properly (which is even harder with 2020 being what it is). I do wish you both the best of luck, though.
  8. Listen, I know you feel put out by this, but he didn't lie to you and you weren't official. He's not wrong for what he did, but you're 100% within your rights to say this isn't an interaction you're comfortable with. Mismatched priorities and perspectives. That's all.
  9. She did more than anyone could be asked to shoulder and never complained. She never got to retire, never got to relax, spend time with family in her Golden Years. What an amazing and accomplished person. We are lesser for her absence, but I'm sincerely glad she's at peace now.
  10. Yeah, I agree with previous posters that you should consider church or other aligned faith-based dating groups.
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