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  1. Consider this. If a man is married to a woman but not good to that woman, the woman and/or the man are not happy and they have children together. The woman then is contacted by someone she once loved and who still cares for her, and she eludes to being unhappy but won't say it outright. The other man wonders if she is for any number of reasons feeling trapped (having kids, a house etc.) or just not secure enough to stand up. Is it wrong for the other man to want to be there and to hope it won't be so bad for her and they can be together again? Furthermore, is it working for the other man to try to figure out what is going on before taking any significant emotional action?
  2. Correct. There has been no encouragement. Maybe re-read and think for a minute before you respond.
  3. Omg it does matter because then you would understand I'm encouraging the opposite.
  4. My wife was comfortable and felt safe enough to acknowledge that we are not meant for each other anymore. Another man would not have changed that.
  5. That is true and I'm not sure either. I don't think most of those who responded before actually read all that was written, so I used less words this time. So me fleeing my own loneliness isn't an issue, I relish it for make reasons. Giving up that solidarity and freedom is nothing short of a compromise on my part (one in willing to make for the right person). Also yes, I have considered her husband and was not given a clear indication of she was in fact happy, or that he was good to her. She shared allot but couldn't give a straight answer about that so I never pressed when it came up. So no, I don't think he would approve and yes I think he would be upset.
  6. That's exactly what I told her but it's hard. I want her to be with me but don't want to be the one that puts her in a place of hurt trying to make that happen.
  7. No one is talking about or considering cheating (emotionally yes). Neither of us want to be that person. Discussing what we want to happen and trying to not base decisions on a fantasy, but weather or not we are happy where we are in life is where our conversations were headed before I said we should stop.
  8. We ended up going to different schools and had conflicting schedules with limited transportation. We spent most of our last year just talking on the phone for hours a day but it was hard. Now we live close and are able to have a considerable amount of time together everyday if we wanted (even with having kids and not living together).
  9. A woman and I were very much in love, but we ended up seperating because it was so hard to see each other. Years later we talked again, she and I both have feelings for each other and still think about each other often, but she is married now. She told me how thinking of me and us was keeping her up at night and allot of other things, but I always tried to steer away from talking about "us" to deeply. I have since told her that we can't talk like this anymore, since she is married and we feel the way we do about each other. It's not fair to her or her family and I don't want to cause any hurt. She really is a big deal to me but also is married with a family. I'm totally ok with that and have a kid of my own, but don't want to creat any hardship or trouble for her or her family. Is it wrong for me to start talking to her again and ask if we want to talk about and figure out what we want to happen?
  10. I dated a girl for a few years in middle/highschool. We were obsessed with each other and said we were in love When we finally did break up it was mostly because we were almost never able to see each other anymore (going to different schools, etc.). But we still said we loved each other and hoped we would get back together later. I lost my phone with her number and couldn't find her again. Almost 20 years later now. I'm getting a long overdue divorce. I always think about her around this time of year, for sentimental reasons, and was looking at her Facebook (like I do a few times a year) and decided to send her a friend request and she accepted. She's married and has kids, I'm getting divorced and have a kid. I sent her a message and we started talking. We were messaging each other for about a month and really getting on and talking about "us" allot. I eventually told her I still have feelings for her. She wanted to talk on the phone so we did, it was a great talk and we were both nervous. She mentioned how she did have a hard time at one point with her husband and almost left but they worked it out, she also said she still has leftover feelings for me too, but not anything she do something about right now. I was too blown away to ask what that really means because I'm not sure. Almost done, promise. So we messaged each other for a few more days, then I sent her a long winded message. I started by asking her not to respond, I told her how I love her and have for so long, I told her what I want and how I'm reading into her responses hoping it will happen, I told her how I wish her and her family happiness but at the same time I want her...and allot of other things. I followed that up with a short message about how if she were here right now I'd do this thing we did as teens that was our secret way of saying I love you. I know I asked her not to respond and she didn't, she did send a "reaction" to those two messages, the heart one. I'm still going nuts about her and now I burned my bridge and I'm not sure how she feels. I don't want to mess with her happiness if she is, but I can't risk missing a chance if I have one. Also I don't want to risk screwing up any chance I might have in the future. Am I being a creepy stalker d!@k if I send her another message? Her birthday is coming up and I was going to record me singing a song and send it to her. Is this too much? Should I just keep trying to back off and move on?
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