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digitalnate

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  1. @Batya33 thanks for the advice. It is a good idea to be willing to put oneself out there and share knowledge with others those who may be of interest. It can take time but keeping in mind the benefits of looking around helps sustain motivation.
  2. @Cherylyn I agree that one needs to just put oneself out there at some point. I have found that putting in a good effort, and then making the best of whatever options occur when actually in the situation, can be better than just waiting for a perfect option to present itself. "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." -Theodore Roosevelt. At the same time, sticking to one's guns to a decent amount about following through the thought-through strategy made in advance can often be better than too much improvisation in my experience. In other words, throwing oneself into the fray (dating scene), but staying true to one's long-held interests can be a good approach.
  3. I agree that it limits options, but I think that finding a significant other can be a challenging task in any case, so having the expectation of that and being willing to look around an extra amount for these things can perhaps be a reasonable approach. I consider that be walking into it eyes wide open that it can be "very hard to find" as you describe. That said, in the spirit of expanding my horizons as you suggest, perhaps relating psychologically and at least having a willingness to listen to each other's different science interests can be additional good potential matches.
  4. @Batya33 while there are some interests that change over time, I think it is smart to try to find someone with at least a few shared core values or interests that are likely to remain the same. Yes, people change and grow, but in my opinion, one should know who they are getting in a relationship to at least an extent to commit to many years or a lifetime with that person. I wouldn't expect someone to always be active in keeping up with the interests but I would like them to still be interested in having conversations about them. This is of course specific to each person's individual tastes, some people like or feel the need to reinvent themselves over time. But having an idea about how consistent one's own interests will be overtime, based on their experience with them over years, is a good basis to decide how much to commit to them in the future compared to the desire to explore new ones.
  5. @abitbroken I hear your point that the opposite gender is inherently different so I should appreciate the differences rather than expecting things to be too close. I think picking and choosing what I am willing to give up to be replaced with other types of interests is complex challenge. I'm just not that much of a serendipitous person where I take things as they come and see if I get a pleasant surprise. I have found that making a reasonably well thought through choice about a long-term commitment is more likely to be agreeable with me over time. Therefore, I would be more interested in deliberately choosing to forgo interests than generally assuming swapping out some number in general.
  6. @wiseman2 thanks for the advice. I think your recommendation relates to me being willing to expand my interests to several different ones of someone else, and consider those interests similarly compelling. I will have to consider within myself if I want to take the time to appreciate those different areas. While on the surface one could say, there are so many interesting areas of knowledge to pursue, any additional ones can be great. However, having too many areas of interest in my opinion can dilute a lot how far someone can go in each. There may be some middle ground, where a few of my interests are shared, and I need to appreciate a few others. I see myself less looking for a "fan" but more of at least an "acceptor" of my high interest in the areas. This is because for that person's sake, I don't know if they would be happy with me being so invested in the areas, and them being disinterested in frequently hearing me talk about that.
  7. @RoseMosse Thanks for the encouragement. I think you make a good point about having core values and those relating to standards. Being able to share with someone at least a few core values will be likely to allow relating to them throughout a lifetime, assuming they retain those values.
  8. @RoseMosse I agree that it will take patience before I can really get out and about. It is a good time for planning ideas of what to do when things open up more. Also, I will further consider your point that someone not in the field but has a good attitude about it and intellectual curiosity could perhaps be at least as good as someone already involved in it. I just get concerned if there was someone who didn't want to talk about the interests because I would feel limited in some ways because of that.
  9. @sophie274 twitter sounds like a good way to hear about events or talk to people who know about events. I agree that taking things offline is wise for deeper relationships. Probably other social media in addition to Twitter and groups in them is a good way to get leads on events.
  10. Thank you for the suggestion, and I understand your point, but respectfully a goal of the question I am asking is to meet someone with these interests. Opposites don't always attract. Having a fear of professional disagreement does not appear to me to be something that should prevent me from pursuing someone with closely connected science interests. While I appreciate that your suggestion that people of different interests can attract, I am confident that in my case the same interests will be the preferred fit for me.
  11. Thanks for the tip. I am in a PhD program now, and I was planning on meeting people at events but covid-19 happened. I thought it could be good to gain info now about approaches that can be used once things open up again in the future. It took me longer than some to take the plunge and do the PhD, deciding on academia instead of industry, so I am somewhat older than some students. That said, I humbly say that were I to be fortunate enough to meet someone who fit my interests well, I think I am someone worth that person having a relationship with. It is a factor that I am somewhat older, but I think the biggest challenge is really finding someone who I connect with well in a psychological way, rather than age to an extent. I will try to date someone close to my age if that opportunity presents itself, and early thirties in particular would be nice for keeping in mind starting a family.
  12. I hear what you are saying, but it is my opinion that someone will not truly understand me without sharing those interests. I appreciate that people often advise looking others in a way that is past what they do for a living, but for me the work is not just a job. It is something I find my personality connects with in a fundamental way, and is a community of people that I relate to in a deep way. That said, I realize I am making things hard by creating such constraints, but I think that if I could not talk about these things with a partner, then they would be missing a crucial part of who I am.
  13. Thanks, something like the society for neuroscience will have promoted lectures and workshops. I think making contacts that may know others I may be interested in could be helpful. I guess getting to know friends and colleagues could eventually help me find someone, if I don't initially meet such a person at an event. I think perhaps looking at it as playing the long game could be good. Trying to act too quickly, without establishing relationships, could cause awkwardness if something didn't go well at a certain club etc. Then again, I try to not overthink things too much.
  14. I am heavily into being a scientist, and like someone interested in particular areas including primarily neuroscience, math, and programming, and secondarily molecular biology and engineering. I realize these are very specific interests, but am wondering does anyone know what would be some good ways and places to meet a woman with those interests?
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