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About SonicHighway

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  1. No, yeah, I mean, I get that. It's just... At the end of the day, she is only three months removed from a five year relationship. Regardless of anything, I don't expect that she'd just be ready to jump right into a serious relationship with me, or someone new. Yes, it's easy to say things like "If she wants it badly enough, then it doesn't matter how long she's been out of her relationship", or "People are ALWAYS open to finding true love no matter what their current situation is", but just from listening to her after the breakup, I can tell that she's still "decompressing" from her past relat
  2. I guess. I dunno. Perhaps I'm very naïve, but I generally take her words at face value, and I feel like if she really intended to fully shut it down, she could have done so without it being "hurtful" or anything. I mean, I'm not trying to look for false hope, but personally, I don't feel like she'd have said the thing she said if she was 100% sure she wouldn't be open to it later on. But, I like I said, I realize that I'm probably overly "naïve", so, I dunno.
  3. I had a long-running thread about it, and I don't care to recount the entire background, so honestly, if you're not familiar, it's probably best to look up that old thread. Anyway, we finally had that talk, and thankfully, it wasn't the least bit awkward or weird at all, and we're still all good. For one, it turns out I wasn't crazy, as per that mutual acquaintance (the whole "Be more open" thing); apparently, said acquaintance suggested to my friend in private that we'd be really nice together. What I found more shocking, though, is what my friend dropped on me next... Apparently, when s
  4. In the grand scheme of things, yes, that is what I mean by "romantic scenario". But, I know that, even in a best case scenario, those things are still years away. Either way, I'm not necessarily talking about predicting the future or anything like that. All I mean is that I feel like I've failed so much and made so many bad decisions, that I just can't imagine myself doing it better any time soon, if ever. I feel like this is all I know how to be -- the me I've always been, the me that only ever fails and makes bad decisions. I've never known how to "fake it till I make it". I don't know
  5. I dunno. I mean, between college and work, I feel like I met plenty of different people/ women throughout my 20s. Like I said, I feel like I should've met at least one person I could've dated in that time. True, maybe I wasn't going out of my way to specifically try to find women to date, but just by the nature of school and work, I feel like I had plenty of opportunity to connect with someone. The thing is, I don't necessarily deny that I "could" still end up with someone. My concern, though, is whether I'll be able to end up with someone I'm truly happy with, or if I'll end up with some
  6. Either way, I freely admit, I tend to make poor choices. I don't really deny that. I've always made bad choices. To be honest, I feel like bad decisions are just what I'm inclined to. I don't blame anyone or anything else; I recognize I make bad choices at every turn. I blame me for that. Honestly, I really don't feel like I know how to make better choices. Maybe? I dunno. I just look back, and I see a past in which I've never been able to find anything even remotely "romantic" with anyone I've ever met and known. There's really no reason I shouldn't have been able to at least fin
  7. In fairness, my feelings for her are very recent, and I've been having these dating/ relationship issues pretty much forever, even before I knew her. In any case, while my feelings are still there, we've had quite a bit of time apart (I believe due to covid), and that along with my recent "FWB" stuff has, at the very least, turned down the intensity of those feelings for the time being.
  8. I wish I knew what to say. I mean, I don't necessarily disagree with you, and I'm not going to argue with you on any of that. You're clearly a very strong person, and I respect that. I suppose that's a big part of my problem. I'm not "strong". I look back at my failure, and I just can't see anything else. I can't find the faith in myself, I can't find the strength to push forward even without that strength. And believe me, I'm incredibly disappointed in myself. I really am.
  9. Well, again, I apologize; it's not my intent to "make excuses". My only real point is that everyone's life is different, and there's no "universal" path for dating and relationships. What worked for you won't necessarily work for me, what works for person A won't necessarily work for person B, etc. Is that an "excuse"? Eh. I guess my perception is, it doesn't always matter how badly you actually want something. Of course I "want" it. I wouldn't be here, feeling so much heartache if I didn't. I just feel "beaten down" at this point. I look back and all I see is failure on my part to b
  10. I know, and I'm not trying to "make excuses". It just feels difficult to find ways for me, personally, to really meet people more easily. The idea of "Maybe I'll meet someone at this thing" isn't really enough to motivate me, because I'm not extroverted or socially proactive by nature, so in most cases, the result will be, no, I will not meet someone there. To me, it makes more sense to pursue activities and whatnot that I will actually enjoy even if I don't meet someone from it. But I struggle to find such things. In any case, I'm not trying to "avoid having to do the work". It's ju
  11. I've really never understood how other people I've known have been able to find and meet people to date, because I can't say anyone I've ever known as seemed all that "active". Like, as far as I know, most people I've known have lived pretty standard lives, with fairly standard routines. They work a full time job, they spend time with friends and family, and maybe have a little hobby or two. I can't say I've really known anyone more "active" than that; I've never known anyone that fills up all their time with things like volunteer work, and doing lots of interesting and exciting activities tha
  12. Ah. I misunderstood. My bad. Still, in general, I feel like most people will have more "options" than I will, regardless. It's not even so much "social media bragging" or anything, it's just having witnessed so many people through the years being in relationships and whatnot. And yes, I know, "most" relationships end up coming to an end rather than being "forever". Even still, it amazes me that people can so easily find someone to be in a relationship with for several months, or even several years. Even if that relationship ends, that's still a nice chunk of time that you get to s
  13. Well, "picky" or not, it doesn't appear to me like there are any women to "go after" for what I "really want". Or if they are, I sure as heck don't know how or where to find them.
  14. Perhaps, but is there really much to any of these things? I haven't had the chance to actually talk to my friend but it's likely that will lead to nothing. The one date I did go on last month amounted to nothing and I haven't met anyone new to try going on dates with. And even with my current "FWB" woman, that could easily fizzle out at any moment (especially since she and I aren't super local, so traveling might eventually erode interest). Right now, this "FWB" thing is really the only thing I have going on, and it's iffy enough that it could easily go away, and if/ when it does, I'm back to
  15. She and I have video chatted several times, now, so I know she's not "catfishing" me or anything like that. We may not have physically been in the same room together yet, but we've been "face to face" on video "dates". And I know that she is poly, but not "romantic"; she currently has another FWB, and prior to covid, she is involved in a local kink community, and had an active sex life as part of that. I think if she were lying about herself to try to sucker me in, she probably wouldn't have went with that sort of "story". That said, it's true that I don't know whether her "excitement" to
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